North vs South

[Emory Kappa]

Though I'm a born and bred Southerner, my midwestern mom didn't have me call people ma'am and sir. She did teach me to be respectful, though without the extra verbiage. And important things like "do not walk and eat at the same time, it's rude."

Now that I'll be raising a child in New England, I find I'm already adding "Miss" to my friends' names. As in "Say hello to Miss Laurie!" Not that he can say much more than "Ah DAH!" and "Deesh" right now. I hope this won't make his friends think he's weird.

Several years ago when we were visiting my family, my dear Yankee husband said "I wish we could move South when we have kids. Everyone, even children, are so much more polite, and that's kinda nice."

[Tom Earp]

Originally Posted by Emory Kappa

Though I'm a born and bred Southerner, my midwestern mom didn't have me call people ma'am and sir. She did teach me to be respectful, though without the extra verbiage. And important things like "do not walk and eat at the same time, it's rude."

Now that I'll be raising a child in New England, I find I'm already adding "Miss" to my friends' names. As in "Say hello to Miss Laurie!" Not that he can say much more than "Ah DAH!" and "Deesh" right now. I hope this won't make his friends think he's weird.

Several years ago when we were visiting my family, my dear Yankee husband said "I wish we could move South when we have kids. Everyone, even children, are so much more polite, and that's kinda nice."

Just Amazing isn't it about manners?

It makes no difference where people are from if they are civil to others!

"Hi I maybe visiting, but you people are Idiots!"

Interesting fact to be true!

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by shinerbock

Just because there are rude people everywhere doesn't mean there isn't a regional difference.

"Regional difference in what" is the question.

If we're talking about different cultures that make politeness, crassness, and rudeness vary in delivery and interpretation, I agree. If we're talking about Southern culture being generally more polite than Northern culture, I strongly disagree.

[shinerbock]

I think in everyday activities, portions of the north are much more abrasive than the rest of the country. Not saying there aren't rude people in the south, but in my experience people generally act more pleasant to strangers here. Of course, it depends on interpretation, many northern people I would consider to be harsh sounding or rude probably would deny they come off as such.

[alum]

There may be some Northerners who don't know how to raise their children to behave in public, but that certainly isn't representative of all residents above the M-D line. We also enroll our children in cotillion and etiquette classes to reinforce what they learn at home. I grew up in the North but lived with Southerners for the majority of my adult life thanks to GEN Alum.

That being said, in terms of a default, I never would have allowed my kids to call my friends Miss Cathy and Miss Ashley as opposed to Mrs. Smith and Mrs Jones. To me, calling an adult by the first name even with a Miss or Mr. added, is the height of rudeness. However, if one of my Southern friends specifically asked to be called Miss Firstname instead Mrs. Surname, then I would have allowed my children to do so.

[UGAalum94]

Originally Posted by alum

There may be some Northerners who don't know how to raise their children to behave in public, but that certainly isn't representative of all residents above the M-D line. We also enroll our children in cotillion and etiquette classes to reinforce what they learn at home. I grew up in the North but lived with Southerners for the majority of my adult life thanks to GEN Alum.

That being said, in terms of a default, I never would have allowed my kids to call my friends Miss Cathy and Miss Ashley as opposed to Mrs. Smith and Mrs Jones. To me, calling an adult by the first name even with a Miss or Mr. added, is the height of rudeness. However, if one of my Southern friends specifically asked to be called Miss Firstname instead Mrs. Surname, then I would have allowed my children to do so.

Yep, I was raised to call people Mrs. Smith, not Miss firstname, but the Miss Firstname can be perfect. When I was in college, I worked with people with various ages; generally, we called people by their first names, but with southern ladies of a mature age, calling them Miss Firstname seemed perfect. It seemed respectful and yet not as formal as Mrs. Lastname would have seemed.

ETA: is the Miss Firstname thing even regional within the South? Is it more common in certain places than others?

[macallan25]

Originally Posted by alum

There may be some Northerners who don't know how to raise their children to behave in public, but that certainly isn't representative of all residents above the M-D line. We also enroll our children in cotillion and etiquette classes to reinforce what they learn at home. I grew up in the North but lived with Southerners for the majority of my adult life thanks to GEN Alum.

That being said, in terms of a default, I never would have allowed my kids to call my friends Miss Cathy and Miss Ashley as opposed to Mrs. Smith and Mrs Jones. To me, calling an adult by the first name even with a Miss or Mr. added, is the height of rudeness. However, if one of my Southern friends specifically asked to be called Miss Firstname instead Mrs. Surname, then I would have allowed my children to do so.

I agree. I was taught to never call an adult by the first name, even with a Mr. or Mrs., unless they gave you permission to do so.
Yes/No Ma'am or Sir is a must in terms of being respectful. (i'm actually quite astonished at whoever said they thought using those words in response to a question or when spoken to is considered rude or bitchy....that is ridiculous.) Also, if you didn't understand or hear something, "excuse me" is perferctly fine unless you plan on using it with a bad tone of voice.
Firm handshakes are always a must, standing when you are seated and people enter the room, men or women. You should shake hands with the man and greet the woman.