Deltas I truly need ya'll help

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by DSTKellie

But do know that you have over 260,000 Sorors so don't let a few ruin what you worked so hard to achieve!

Well, she may never find a Delta setting that is completely accepting of her sexuality. She might find a few Sorors who she can be open and honest with and that's it. But I think that no one should play up their sexuality anyway because what makes us who we are, as far as others are concerned, isn't about who we are attracted to or love.

The main point that I tell Sorors who are dealing with finding acceptance is that they should stick with the Sorors that they bond with no matter how few. They might really have a "Sisterhood bond" with 2 and have a "Delta business" relationship with 200 and that's fine. Our bond and commitment supercedes individuals and whether we get warm fuzzies everytime we interact with one another.

[DSTKellie]

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

Well, she may never find a Delta setting that is completely accepting of her sexuality. She might find a few Sorors who she can be open and honest with and that's it. But I think that no one should play up their sexuality anyway because what makes us who we are, as far as others are concerned, isn't about who we are attracted to or love.

The main point that I tell Sorors who are dealing with finding acceptance is that they should stick with the Sorors that they bond with no matter how few. They might really have a "Sisterhood bond" with 2 and have a "Delta business" relationship with 200 and that's fine. Our bond and commitment supercedes individuals and whether we get warm fuzzies everytime we interact with one another.

I understand that she may never find a Delta setting that totally approves of her sexuality. I'm not saying that her sands have to agree with her lifestyle. However, there response is what's troubling me. We have disagreements but I still think their response was out of order. I made that comment that she can still actively serve and meet other Sorors who won't make such an issue about her sexuality.

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by DSTKellie

I understand that she may never find a Delta setting that totally approves of her sexuality. I'm not saying that her sands have to agree with her lifestyle. However, there response is what's troubling me. We have disagreements but I still think their response was out of order. I made that comment that she can still actively serve and meet other Sorors who won't make such an issue about her sexuality.

My point that even if she doesn't find a setting that won't make such an issue, she still needs to keep it all in perspective. I don't think anyone should wear their sexual orientation on their sleeves. If people choose to do so, they need to understand they will get different reactions from different people. If she chooses to present herself as "the Delta who is a Lesbian" then she MIGHT have a difficult time finding Sorors who will interact with her the same as had she just presented herself "ColorfulCr8tion, the Delta."

Then again, she MIGHT not have a hard time when she branches outside of her chapter. She's a Neo so it all remains to be seen.

[Senusret I]

I think that wearing sexuality on your sleeve is subjective.

If I ask a Brother what he did last weekend, and he mentioned he went to the movies with his girlfriend, that's not wearing his sexuality on his sleeve.

But if a Brother asks me the same thing, and I mention my boyfriend*, then straight people perceive that as wearing my sexuality on my sleeve.

I'm not saying you're saying that, but that's the perception of straight brothers who wish I'd just shut up. All I'm doing is living my life normally without regard to pronouns.


*Senusret I is single and is, in fact, taking applications.

[mulattogyrl]

Originally Posted by Senusret I

I think that wearing sexuality on your sleeve is subjective.

If I ask a Brother what he did last weekend, and he mentioned he went to the movies with his girlfriend, that's not wearing his sexuality on his sleeve.

But if a Brother asks me the same thing, and I mention my boyfriend*, then straight people perceive that as wearing my sexuality on my sleeve.

I'm not saying you're saying that, but that's the perception of straight brothers who wish I'd just shut up. All I'm doing is living my life normally without regard to pronouns.


*Senusret I is single and is, in fact, taking applications.

Hmmm. Good point. And lol @ your last statement.

[Mizunderstood04]

Sorry to hear about your situation and I hope it gets better (hope you feel better as well). I go through a kinda similar situation with my LS's (truth be told, we really ain't that cool). I go to chapter meeting and events that we have and get funny looks and them whispering to each other (simply because the don't like me, I suppose). Anyway, my little $19. 20 cents is that I've always held on to something that one of my sorors and frat have told me "Just because they are a soror, don't make them your sister". Those aren't the ONLY Deltas in the world. Again, I do hope you feel better

Zeta Phi Beta Sorority Inc.
#1 Mizunderstood
Spr 05

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by Mizunderstood04

(truth be told, we really ain't that cool). I go to chapter meeting and events that we have and get funny looks and them whispering to each other (simply because the don't like me, I suppose).

That's really unfortunate. While our organizations go beyond our "lines" and our chapters, our "lines" and chapters are supposed to be a focal point and beginning of organizational learning and socialization. Similar to how our families are the beginning of our learning and socialization as people.

[dreadhead1913]

There are 2 sides to every story, and we have only heard 1 side. The fact that the OP felt the need to discuss this sensitive issue on a public message board (there are private boards) leads me to believe that there is much more going on.

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by Senusret I

I think that wearing sexuality on your sleeve is subjective.

If I ask a Brother what he did last weekend, and he mentioned he went to the movies with his girlfriend, that's not wearing his sexuality on his sleeve.

But if a Brother asks me the same thing, and I mention my boyfriend*, then straight people perceive that as wearing my sexuality on my sleeve.

I'm not saying you're saying that, but that's the perception of straight brothers who wish I'd just shut up. All I'm doing is living my life normally without regard to pronouns.


*Senusret I is single and is, in fact, taking applications.

Indeed.

[mccoyred]

I guess my problem with this situation is that why wait until AFTER you have your letters? If you truly bonded during MIP, this would have come out then and you would know that they accept you for who you are.

I find the timing of the coming out disturbing but don't think that I am excusing their mean behavior.

[dzdst796]

Homophobia In The House!!! I figure that you came Out because you felt comfortable enough with them to do so. Unfortunately you did not get the response that you expected.
All I can say is that as long as you are comfortable with who you are screw everyone else. This is not a Delta issue this is personal issue that just came to light because of Delta. Be proud of who you are. For all you know some of your LS might be lesbian as well.

Take care.

YID

[DSTRen13]

Originally Posted by Senusret I

I'm not saying you're saying that, but that's the perception of straight brothers who wish I'd just shut up. All I'm doing is living my life normally without regard to pronouns.

I think I speak for quite a few GC'ers when I say that I'm very glad that you don't just shut up

[Senusret I]

^^^ Thank you.

[RedefinedDiva]

DISCLAIMER: I am NOT condoning any of their behavior, nor would I react in such a way, but in approximately 15-18 months, people will be paying me to play Devil's Advocate, so I like to take advantage of practice opportunities.

With that said....

I would like to ask what your relationship was like with your line sisters prior to coming out to them. Maybe you jumped the gun or maybe they felt deceived by your lack of honesty when it may have been warranted.

Even though the bonds of sisterhood may be strong, some people may still be faced with those barriers of not revealing all about themselves up front. Some people, especially women, need time to get to know you before they "tell you all their business." Contrary to popular belief, being "on line" with someone does NOT make you instant best friends. And though YOU may feel comfortable with these people, the feeling may not be reciprocal.

The converse may also be true. Depending on how long you have known your line sisters and the experiences that you may have shared, they may be reacting to the fact that you waited all this time to tell them. I know some of the experiences and information that my line sisters and I have shared from the day we met, and I would be HIGHLY pissed if one of them waited until NOW to tell me that they were a lesbian! Also, as someone previously stated, they may be questioning your motives and integrity in that you decided to reserve coming out for AFTER you became a Delta.

None of us can state why they are choosing to put your business out like that. Maybe for some of the same reasons that sites like dontdatehim.com are popular. A person gets hurt or angry and doesn't know how to react. They need some other people the support and validate their anger. I also remember the person that I was in undergrad. Though I was mature and better raised, I can't necessarily say that I would have been above the behavior. With the right kind of support (which sounds to be campus-wide), I could see how easily I could have gotten swept up into keeping some mess going. You're dealing with 18, 19, 20 or so year old chicks. I know some grow azz 25+ year olds in LAW SCHOOL that pop off drama like high schoolers, so I put nothing past anyone.

Just live your life and do you.

[ColorfulCre8ion]

Originally Posted by mccoyred

I guess my problem with this situation is that why wait until AFTER you have your letters? If you truly bonded during MIP, this would have come out then and you would know that they accept you for who you are.

Originally Posted by RedefinedDiva

DISCLAIMER: I am NOT condoning any of their behavior, nor would I react in such a way, but in approximately 15-18 months, people will be paying me to play Devil's Advocate, so I like to take advantage of practice opportunities.

With that said....

I would like to ask what your relationship was like with your line sisters prior to coming out to them. Maybe you jumped the gun or maybe they felt deceived by your lack of honesty when it may have been warranted.

Even though the bonds of sisterhood may be strong, some people may still be faced with those barriers of not revealing all about themselves up front. Some people, especially women, need time to get to know you before they "tell you all their business." Contrary to popular belief, being "on line" with someone does NOT make you instant best friends. And though YOU may feel comfortable with these people, the feeling may not be reciprocal. I know some of the experiences and information that my line sisters and I have shared from the day we met, and I would be HIGHLY pissed if one of them waited until NOW to tell me that they were a lesbian! Also, as someone previously stated, they may be questioning your motives and integrity in that you decided to reserve coming out for AFTER you became a Delta.

Thanks everyone for your advice and encouragement. I know someone mentioned why I waited until after MIP to disclose this information. It's really hard to explain timing of coming "out" to people. Fortunetly, straight people don't have to face this because immediately at birth everyone is assumed to be heterosexual. I did not lie or mislead my sands in anyway. This is who I am and I wanted them to know because I also have a girlfriend on campus. Again I cannot apologize or change who i am, this is me. But I am so thankful to know that I am not alone, and that are some wonderful people on GC who have been great support.

(I bolded that statement because I don't understand what someone's sexuality has anything to do with you. Please believe that lesbians rarely fall in love with people who are not lesbians or just any random female. We can control emotions and desires just like heterosexuals.
Wow that comment really disturbed me.)