Morality & Ethics with the "Pillow Angel"

[BetteDavisEyes]

Originally Posted by OtterXO

I don't know....something about that makes me really uncomfortable. I think that people could justify doing a lot of things to mentally disabled persons by saying "she'll never know it happened". The girl clearly underwent two major surgeries to remove her breast tissue and reproductive organs. If she can feel pain then I'm pretty sure she felt the pain of recovery from those.

I'm not usually a fan of a "slippery slope" argument but in this case I wonder where one draws the line at doing things to make caring for her more convenient for her parents.

That's what's bothering me. You nailed it right on the head.

In some cases, not calling her by her given name and instead, referring her to as an object "pillow angel" it sort of dehumanizes her and might make it easier for them to view her as such instead of a person that can feel pain.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by valkyrie

Okay, first of all, you know they're not right if they refer to their daughter as a "pillow angel" -- WTF it is Michael Jackson level crazy when you refer to your child as an item of bedding.

I took them to mean that she is an angel who rests on a pillow.

Originally Posted by BetteDavisEyes

In some cases, not calling her by her given name and instead, referring her to as an object "pillow angel" it sort of dehumanizes her and might make it easier for them to view her as such instead of a person that can feel pain.

Of course, in the article, they do call her by her name. How is saying "she's our pillow angel" that different from saying "she's our guardian angel" or "he's my knight in shining armour"?

As for viewing her as an object that can't feel pain, the article gives no indication that they feel that way, and it mentions that among their concerns were bedsores and "the discomforts of periods," so I take that to mean that they were, at least in part, motiviated by her comfort.

I agree with the parents that ""Unless you are living the experience ... you have no clue what it is like to be the bedridden child or their caregivers." I have no clue what I would do in their shoes. But from what I've seen and read, I would describe them as parents who are doing the best they can and what they think is best for their daughter and their family. Regardless of how the ethicists and their ilk ultimately view the situation and the questions it presents, I'm not willing to jump all over the parents or assume that they really are motivated by their own convenience.

[MTSUGURL]

A special needs student that I've worked with over the past year just passed away in September. Mentally she was about 6 months old, but was more mobile than Ashley - she wasn't bedridden and was able to attend school most of the time. She was nearly 18 but was the size of a six year old. What broke my heart was that she would have extremely painful periods that lasted anywhere from 1-2 months. If she were my child and I had the legal ability, I would have had the doctors do a hysterectomy to save her from the pain and the discomfort of having her period. I agree with this guy:
"This particular treatment, even if it's OK in this situation, and I think it probably is, is not a widespread solution and ignores the large social issues about caring for people with disabilities," Dr. Joel Frader, a medical ethicist at Chicago's Children's Memorial Hospital, said Thursday. "As a society, we do a pretty rotten job of helping caregivers provide what's necessary for these patients."

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by MTSUGURL

A special needs student that I've worked with over the past year just passed away in September. Mentally she was about 6 months old, but was more mobile than Ashley - she wasn't bedridden and was able to attend school most of the time. She was nearly 18 but was the size of a six year old. What broke my heart was that she would have extremely painful periods that lasted anywhere from 1-2 months.

Forgive my but how does a child w/ the mental equiv. of a 6-month old attend school?

[MTSUGURL]

She was in the CDC class. We worked on things like colors, small motor skills, etc. There are laws that state that every child is guaranteed a free and appropriate education. Appropriate for her wasn't a typical classroom, but she did have the benefit of a social environment and a routine. This isn't abnormal - many of the children I work with in special ed classes are mentally on the level of infants or toddlers.

[DolphinChicaDDD]

Originally Posted by MTSUGURL

She's in the CDC class. We worked on things like colors, small motor skills, etc. There are laws that state that every child is guaranteed a free and appropriate education. Appropriate for her wasn't a typical classroom, but she did have the benefit of a social environment and a routine.

That is what I was just going to say. For special needs students, the age is upped to 21. There are various classes for special needs students, depending on the seriousness of their conditions. For example, at my high school we have a class for mild-moderate mentally retarded kids. I covered the class the other day and the lesson was on how to use a phone book. Its not the typical classroom, but it an education.

As far as the "Pillow Angel" is concered, I'm still debating it in my mind, and therefore will hold my comments until I get it all straight.

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by MTSUGURL

She was in the CDC class. We worked on things like colors, small motor skills, etc. There are laws that state that every child is guaranteed a free and appropriate education. Appropriate for her wasn't a typical classroom, but she did have the benefit of a social environment and a routine. This isn't abnormal - many of the children I work with in special ed classes are mentally on the level of infants or toddlers.

Thanks. It is hard for me, even as a psychology student, to fathom working with someone at that level. Even a toddler seems simpler to work with (though a toddler with the strength of an 18 year old not so much i guess.) ETA: I caught that she was the size/strength of a six year old, I was just making a general comment
I knew it wasn't a regular classroom, but I wasn't sure what was available at that level. I'm glad those laws are in place.

[valkyrie]

I can't accept the proposition that she has to be small so they can move her and interact with her more than they could if she were larger. Instead of making her smaller, why wouldn't they concentrate on making themselves physically stronger?

[MTSUGURL]

Originally Posted by Drolefille

Thanks. It is hard for me, even as a psychology student, to fathom working with someone at that level. Even a toddler seems simpler to work with (though a toddler with the strength of an 18 year old not so much i guess.)

I knew it wasn't a regular classroom, but I wasn't sure what was available at that level. I'm glad those laws are in place.

Actually in Keshia's case, she was the size of a 6 year old.
It sounds to me as though Ashley's parents are trying to do the majority of care for Ashley themselves - although unorthodox and NOT by any means something that should become standard, I understand their decision. I am surprised that it was allowed, but I understand it and am glad that they are actually caring for her. I see special needs children every day that are almost completely neglected or abused by their parents.