Questions Couples Should Ask (Or Wish They Had) Before Marrying

[Scandia]

I do not think any of them are cheesy. However, I would have put the bedroom TV one at the bottom. The order and ranking of the rest is fine- and I do agree that kids/no kids is the top dealbreaker.

Regarding the TV- while I would joyfully put a second TV in the house even if only two people live there, I dunno if to put one in the master bedroom.

I liked question 13. There are some things that may seem trivial but that you should not have to give up or be asked to give up.

[Drolefille]

As an advocate of pre-marital "counseling" (by which I mean talking to someone trained in some way shape or form) I like these. And yeah, the TV isn't the highest on the list, but it can become a bone of contention and some people can't sleep with light/noise etc.

My parents did "pre-Cana" with couples from our church and would discuss all these topics, or more importantly, have the couples discuss it amongst themselves. My favorite part was that they'd have to eat dinner with the whole family. Kind of a "and here's what dinner with children (four in our case) is really like" thing. Couples who work this sort of thing out ahead of time both know what they're getting into and have a firmer base to work out unforseen issues.

No one has to ask the questions as they're written, but knowing that about your S.O. will make you better off in the long run.

/generic "you"

[AGDee]

Those are great and while I agree that they are important, they aren't a guarantee. Sometimes, a person changes and their answers to those are no longer the same and you've already said "I do". THAT can cause a lot of issues also. For instance, before marriage "Yes, I will convert to Catholicism and raise the kids Catholic, no problem!" ... after marriage "I am now a born again Christian who gives $5000 a year to televangelists and believes the Catholic church is evil so my kids can't go to that church". OR: "Yes, I agree that we should move to a southern state before the kids start school.. particularly, to North Carolina" becomes "I'm not going anywhere, I don't want to be far from my family or friends and I like my job here." Or "Of course we should split the housework 50-50, and I'll learn to cook and help clean the house" to "I mow the lawn every week, what more do you want from me?"

Yeah, it's important to discuss all those things, it's a whole 'nother ballgame to LIVE the answers to those questions!

[AlexMack]

Some of these questions are a really good advocate for living together before marriage. For some people that's not cool and I understand that, but it's also very telling to understand and live with another person's personal habits. If you really can't work it out before marriage, a ring ain't gonna make a difference.