panhellenic age limits

ASUADPi · #1 11-30-2006, 09:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ZetaBaby87

we had a 28 year old go through formal recruitment this year, and she really seemed very enthusiastic about it too. however, she was MARRIED and even if she wasn't, there were far more 18 year old freshman that were just as enthusiastic and could fill her spot.... so needless to say, she didnt get called back to any of the sororities the next day.

Maybe I read your post wrong, but from what I understand basically every sorority discriminated against her because she was married and 28 and therefore cut her.

If the school allowed her to rush and the individual sororities don't have "rules" against it (like a rule that said no married women or a chapter rule saying that a new member can't be older than 25, etc...), she could claim discrimination.

I'm not saying that if she filed a discrimination lawsuit that she would have a "slam dunk" win, I'm just saying she could probably do it (sue).

People sue for lamer reasons than discrimination. (Remember the women who put her HOT coffee between her legs, than spilled it and then sued Mcdonalds for her stupidity, what was worse is that she won).

Drolefille · #2 11-30-2006, 10:29 AM

However she has no proof that this was why she was not invited back. People have tried that before, but this is why no one is supposed to know why they're not invited back.

33girl · #3 11-30-2006, 10:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Drolefille

However she has no proof that this was why she was not invited back.

She does if she reads this thread.

Drolefille · #4 11-30-2006, 10:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

She does if she reads this thread.

Kinda. There's only a representative of one chapter on here, probably not enough to make a lawsuit work but yeah I know what you're saying.

33girl · #5 11-30-2006, 01:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jessXIca

But they did it for her own good...it's not like the chapter has something against married people, I mean, it would be because there's no way a 28 year old married woman would fit in and be comfortable with a bunch of 18 year olds.

Besides, I thought married women were forced to take alumni status anyway?

That's an extremely condescending thing to say. You have NO IDEA what this woman's status was, or whether she would have enjoyed being in the chapter. Everyone is different. Age is only a number.

That's like you going into a store and them refusing to sell you a pair of pants and saying "this is for your own good, you wouldn't like them or look good in them."

Some groups force married women to go alum, but not all (thank God). And I would bet even in those groups where it is "policy" that there are chapters who ignore it, because it's a really stupid rule.

Drolefille · #6 11-30-2006, 01:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AXiD670

No one is "forced" to take alumnae status unless:
1. the chapter is closed, or
2. they graduate

There are campuses where the Greek life culture would be conducive to having a married woman come through recruitment and be an asset to any sorority she joined. Not everybody joins a sorority just to socialize with boys.

ETA: And this is not directed at anybody in particular, but I'm sick of the attitude (mostly from non-married people) that married people are "different" or that they can't have a social life. Sheesh, it's not like once you're married your life ends or you develop some horrible disease that cuts you off from any socialization of any sort.

We give married sisters the OPTION of becoming an alum. It's not required. Not sure about other chapters' rules.

"It's for her own good" IS offensive no matter how much collegians think that married women don't have time for sororities.

/Ewww Marriage cooties

Drolefille · #7 11-30-2006, 01:36 PM

It does probably help that you were in said sorority in college. I kind of wonder how difficult it would be to relate if you were just starting college at 28 or so and had already been married/kids etc. It's certainly not impossible, but I think it would seem weird that these 18-22 year olds are in a completely different place in their lives.

You know, shouldn't you be with your husband instead of on GC all day?

/Don't hit me!

AChiOhSnap · #8 11-30-2006, 04:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Drolefille

It does probably help that you were in said sorority in college. I kind of wonder how difficult it would be to relate if you were just starting college at 28 or so and had already been married/kids etc. It's certainly not impossible, but I think it would seem weird that these 18-22 year olds are in a completely different place in their lives.

I agree.

I sometimes wonder why an older/married woman would want to go through recruitment on campuses that have mostly 18-22 year old sorority women. My chapter had a girl a few years ago that ended up taking 6.5 years to graduate and she said that it was sometimes hard being 25 and trying to relate to the freshmen sisters. I'd imagine it would be even worse if a woman had tons of life experiences (marriage, children) that none of her sisters shared.

Don't get me wrong, I think any chapter would benefit from bidding an older PNM. It just seems like it would end up being a bad deal for the older PNM! I think I'd honestly go crazy if I were 30 and I had to deal with things like recruitment t-shirt drama or neverending mock rock practices.

ASUADPi · #9 11-30-2006, 07:38 PM

I think for me it would be encouraging chapters to move away from the thought that "oh their married" or "oh their 28" as a reason to cut a woman. You have to look at what the other stuff. Do you think she would be a good fit? Tell her about the time committments and ask her if she is willing to committ. I think we tend to forget that actives don't have to attend the date parties or the dances or stuff like that. They do have to go to chapters, philanthropy events, pledge class stuff (as a pledge). But if they don't want to put forth the extra effort they don't technically have to (although they won't really get to know the sisters well if they don't, it seems).

If the PNM understands, than who is to say because she is 28 and married that she wouldn't be an excellent sister. (The same goes for single women with kids). We don't look at the color of the PNM's skin or their religion as a basis for cuts, why should we look at if they have a wedding band on their finger or a kid for that matter? (Now obviously, if the sorority has rules against taking members who are married or with kids in their bylaws, this "theory" of mine wouldn't apply

).

I'm kind of rambling and I'm not sure if I'm making any sense. I apologize. Long day doing a school improvement plan (for actually the last three days and not done yet), so I'm a little exhausted.

UGAalum94 · #10 11-30-2006, 09:15 PM

I guess I should say upfront that I'm not in favor of discrimination* in general. However, it's not surprising to me that at a many campuses where the majority of new member classes are 18 year old fresh-out-of-high-school kids, a 28 year old married woman would have a hard time getting a bid. Decisions about releases are made for pretty superficial reasons, not that that's a good thing, but something that seems at all atypical might get you cut.

As far as the "she could sue" idea, it's probably harder to really assess that we can do here. It's much more likely, in my opinion, that the groups would get in trouble with the university or their national group for violating their own non-discrimination rules.

As bad as it might seem sometimes, fully private groups on their own retain the "right" to discriminate.

At some campuses, despite the proclaimed values of the groups, meeting and dating hotties are the central reasons people go greek. If that's an important part of the system, many group members are going to find it weird that married folks rush.

I agree that it would be cool for groups to get beyond that.

*I'm being obsessive, but I want to clarify that on some level discrimination just has to do with telling differences or treating things differently. Generally, when people use the term they have in mind discrimination based on race, gender, age, nationality, etc. Obviously, I think that kind of discrimination is wrong. But I'm in favor of discriminating between people that I know who are idiots and people that I who are awesome. The faster you do it, the better.

33girl · #11 12-01-2006, 11:24 AM

Believe me, I've seen some 18 year olds that act more like old non-fun married people where their boyfriends are concerned than 28 (or heck, 38) year olds. I'm sure there are some cute young girls who got pledged at the school that cut this 28 year old who have turned out to be as much fun as a root canal.

aopirose · #12 11-30-2006, 01:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AXiD670

ETA: And this is not directed at anybody in particular, but I'm sick of the attitude (mostly from non-married people) that married people are "different" or that they can't have a social life. Sheesh, it's not like once you're married your life ends or you develop some horrible disease that cuts you off from any socialization of any sort.

Your last sentence tickled me but so very true.