panhellenic age limits

Originally Posted by Kaydee_cutie

We have a 25 year old new member this fall and she is an amazing addition to our chapter!!! Also, a few years back another chapter on campus pledged a 40+ year old woman, mainly because she was a legacy of sorts. Her daughter was a member of the chaper a few years prior. She obviously wasn't very active in the chapter, but it is possible to get a bid...

The 40+ year old woman went through rush and initiated as a collegian? Interesting. Personally, I wouldn't extend a bid to someone I knew wouldn't be active with the chapter. I'd save that space for someone who actually wants to be there.

While your campus culture allows for non-traditional aged women to go through rush and possibly get a bid, the same thing can't be said everywhere else.

[AchtungBaby80]

Originally Posted by OTW

While your campus culture allows for non-traditional aged women to go through rush and possibly get a bid, the same thing can't be said everywhere else.

That's what I was getting ready to say. I know the age issue has been discussed on here before, and there's not just one answer. On my campus, for example, there was a 26-year-old who went through recruitment one year and everyone in my chapter was talking about it. We just couldn't believe someone that old would go through! That's because where I went to school, most ladies rushed and pledged as freshmen or sophomores and it was practically unheard of for older students to join. Now, at other schools, it's obviously different.

[REE1993]

Originally Posted by AchtungBaby80

We just couldn't believe someone that old would go through! .

I am now giggling at "that old". I understand the context and thus the surprise, but I would love to be "that old" again!

Enjoy your youth!!

[AchtungBaby80]

Originally Posted by REE1993

I am now giggling at "that old". I understand the context and thus the surprise, but I would love to be "that old" again!

Enjoy your youth!!

Well, keep in mind this was coming from a bunch of 18-22 year olds. A bunch of 18-22 year olds who had mostly pledged before age 20, I might add. 26 sure doesn't seem old now, but it did then! Heh heh.

[REE1993]

Originally Posted by AchtungBaby80

Well, keep in mind this was coming from a bunch of 18-22 year olds. A bunch of 18-22 year olds who had mostly pledged before age 20, I might add. 26 sure doesn't seem old now, but it did then! Heh heh.

Hey, if a 26 yo wants to embrace sisterhood, and finds a mutual fit in her ideals, interests, etc., I think it's great. But I totally understand how it might feel weird on both sides. I think the idea of such an age difference will often reflect in a person's lifestyle, habits, goals, etc. Perhaps an older rushee/pledge might not have had the opportunity to go to college at a typical age. But I imagine that this very same person might feel uncomfortable taking direction (note I didn't say orders) from girls 8 years younger.

That being said, it might be cool to have someone as a "big sister (like real life), more experienced" type of sister in your organization, bc she can draw upon life experiences and share them with the rest of the house/chapter.

But again, there should be a mutual fit; and while it might not necessarily be an age issue, it might an issue in terms of generational differences and the fact that the "typical" collegiates "grow up" together in college. Much of sisterhood is the sharing of new experiences, personal growth, and learning more about who you are an who you want to become. In that case, I can see where it would not be a good mutual fit.

Forgive my rambling.

[dgdramadawg]

Has this PNM thought about how she might feel as a pledge sister of mostly 18-19 year olds? If she rushes at 26-27 and receives a bid, she will most likely be older than not just her pledge sisters, but also the upperclassmen and officers. She might be fine with that, but I know that it might make me a little uncomfortable to pledge if I was that much older than my chapter sisters. But hey, if it doesn't make her uncomfortable, I say she should go for it!

[Dionysus]

As for having officers younger than you...if you have issues with someone younger (but COMPETENT) giving you orders or making rules, that sounds like an attitude problem. Will you not take a job because the boss is younger than you? That's not common, but it's not unheard of. It's also kind of along the lines of a man not wanting to take orders from a woman. If someone is competent in what they do, it shouldn't matter what their background is.

[ZTAngel]

Originally Posted by OTW

While your campus culture allows for non-traditional aged women to go through rush and possibly get a bid, the same thing can't be said everywhere else.

Yes. While 26 or 27 isn't that old at some schools, I will say that this woman most likely will not get a bid to any sorority at UCF. It's harsh but it's reality. Rush is competitive and the chapters can afford to be picky as to who they bid since there's almost 1,000 smart, beautiful, young girls going through.

[ASUADPi]

I remember in 2001 the chapter at ASU actually took a member who was 21 or 22. She was a freshman, just started college and decided to rush. She stayed involved until she got married a few years later (and then decided to go alum, although I'm pretty sure (but don't quote me) ADPi does allow a sister to be married and stay active, but I'm not 100% sure on that ). I've seen her at some alum events, so she is still somewhat active.

[UCFalumna]

Originally Posted by ZTAngel

Yes. While 26 or 27 isn't that old at some schools, I will say that this woman most likely will not get a bid to any sorority at UCF. It's harsh but it's reality. Rush is competitive and the chapters can afford to be picky as to who they bid since there's almost 1,000 smart, beautiful, young girls going through.

I agree! It certainly is reality. Within the last decade, I can personally remember several older PNM's going through at UCF and not receiving bids. There was one particular older PNM who tried going through formal a couple times and then tried to COB at practically every house that participated. I'm not saying that it's right that someone in this situation not be given a fair chance, but that's simply the reality of UCF recruitment. It's too competitive of a situation for a house to give up a place for a potential 4-year member to someone who may not be able to commit as much time or energy.

All of this being said, I can see how someone at that age who is "young at heart" or living a typical college life style might choose to expand themselves with sorority membership. I can also see how important that PNM's attitude and presentation would impact their ability to actually be extended a bid.

[amanda6035]

I was a 23 year old freshman when I became a colony member of Alpha Xi Delta. I didnt have the opportunity to be an 18 year old freshman - had to get that 4 years of military out of the way first. And even though I'm older than the next oldest sister by over 3 years, none of the girls treat me any different. They still respect me as a sister. The most depressing thing though, is we took on a new member this year who JUST celebrated her 18th birthday. Good lord, I'm 4 weeks shy of being 8 years older than her. Dig the knife a little deeper!

Now, I will say that when I colonized, we had a 35 year old single mom also colonize with us. She dropped before Installation, but I will say that with her, it was a burden, and a HUGE hassel. She wanted to be our mother, and not our sister. Everytime we made plans to do something it was always "I dont have time for that, I have a child at home..." and it was a huge pain in the ass to have to make plans around her child. We would have, and could have, worked with her, but she finally realized that her child was a bigger priority in her life than sorority (as it SHOULD have been) and she dropped. Fortunately, for the rest of us, the tension in the colony left with her. We actually began to feel like a sisterhood after that...

[dgdramadawg]

Originally Posted by amanda6035

I was a 23 year old freshman when I became a colony member of Alpha Xi Delta. I didnt have the opportunity to be an 18 year old freshman - had to get that 4 years of military out of the way first. And even though I'm older than the next oldest sister by over 3 years, none of the girls treat me any different. They still respect me as a sister. The most depressing thing though, is we took on a new member this year who JUST celebrated her 18th birthday. Good lord, I'm 4 weeks shy of being 8 years older than her. Dig the knife a little deeper!

Now, I will say that when I colonized, we had a 35 year old single mom also colonize with us. She dropped before Installation, but I will say that with her, it was a burden, and a HUGE hassel. She wanted to be our mother, and not our sister. Everytime we made plans to do something it was always "I dont have time for that, I have a child at home..." and it was a huge pain in the ass to have to make plans around her child. We would have, and could have, worked with her, but she finally realized that her child was a bigger priority in her life than sorority (as it SHOULD have been) and she dropped. Fortunately, for the rest of us, the tension in the colony left with her. We actually began to feel like a sisterhood after that...

I think amanda6035 definitely makes a good point here! If you have similar priorities and are at a similar place in life as your pledge sisters, it can be a great experience regardless of pledging age. However, if you're enough older that your priorities are totally different (like the 35 year old) it can be really hard to enjoy your membership... I mean, can you imagine the hassle of being fined for missing chapter every time you had a commitment for your child?

That's basically what I was trying to say earlier. If this PNM is at a similar place in life as her potential sisters, I would totally encourage her to rush... but if she feels that she is enough older that she might feel out of place or as though her priorities were totally different from those of the girls in her chapter, it might not be the right experience for her.

[REE1993]

In my pledge class, we had a married mom who was in her late 20s. It did cause some issues when we needed to do certain things as a pledge class... without everyone present, some activities/goals could not be completed. It did cause a strain within our class, but we were able to overcome it.

I think the most important thing is that the PNM has the same level of commitment/time/energy/availability as any other in the potential pledge class. Every situation is different.

[adpiucf]

Believe it or not, we had a 25 year old in our chapter in the late 90s-- but she was the rare exception. She had been in the military and then came to UCF. She was incredibly stunning-- absolutely beautiful and fun-- and I think she was definitely the exception to the rule. She also had a long time BF and while she followed chapter obligations and came to the date parties, she wasn't very, very active. I think by your mid-20s you really don't want to hang out with a group when the median age is 20.