Your thoughts on AI: discussion goes here. - Page 14

PinkandGreenJ · #**196** 10-05-2006, 11:31 AM

It happens a lot. A friend of mine is a recent AI who was on this board. She had all her stuff deleted because she was getting PM sponsorship requests. Stupid and disgusting.

She was pissed because she did AI quietly, only posted when she got invited and then got this.

A lot of AIs are pissed off by this forum...at least that is what she told me.

PinkandGreenJ · #**197** 10-05-2006, 11:33 AM

Forgot to mention....there are also people on here who contact PNAI and ask if they want introductions...not sure how I feel about that either.

AChiOhSnap · #**198** 10-05-2006, 11:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PinkandGreenJ

It happens a lot. A friend of mine is a recent AI who was on this board. She had all her stuff deleted because she was getting PM sponsorship requests. Stupid and disgusting.

She was pissed because she did AI quietly, only posted when she got invited and then got this.

A lot of AIs are pissed off by this forum...at least that is what she told me.

I get PM sponsorship/alumnae group introduction requests, and I'm an undergraduate. It freaks me out, really. I had one PNAI offer to be my chapter advisor (!!!) if I helped her get initiated.

ETA: blueangel, I searched for it for you: http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...threadid=57188

valkyrie · #**199** 10-05-2006, 11:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blueangel

I am a journalist, and I like to have the facts verified before I accept something as fact.

Your profession is irrelevant. You can like whatever you want, but that doesn't mean you're entitled to the information.

CutiePie2000 · #**200** 10-05-2006, 11:39 AM

I'll have b*lls of steel and name them publicly:

sagesofages sponsored adduncan for Phi Mu
GPhiBLtColonel did it for Cluey, navane, & houstonchica for GPhiB.
I've been approached via PMs for sponsorship multiple times and now I just delete them, so I don't have the names anymore.
TrojanGirl was sponsored into KD by another KD member on GC, but I can't remember specifically who it was. (edit: sorry: I was incorrect here. I've apologize for this here..and also later on in the thread. Thank you.)

I used to be more open-minded to women pursuing AI through their own recommendation but I am no longer and the whole idea makes me uncomfortable, due to the downturn of events. If someone's AI pursuit comes to a grinding halt, who am I to get involved and help get it jumpstarted again? Maybe those local women are saying "no" in a tacit manner (i.e. ignoring the PNAM, hoping they'll go away), because they know something that I don't.

And also, by tacit, I mean: implied or indicated (as by an act or by silence) but not actually expressed. By doing "nothing', they're hoping that the PNAM will take the hint and drop the whole pursuit issue. I don't think that this is very nice, but a lot of people are uncomfortable with confrontation.

valkyrie · #**201** 10-05-2006, 11:41 AM

LOL OH SNAP. CP, I love you.

adpiucf · #**202** 10-05-2006, 12:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blueangel

This issue seems to be much ado about nothing.

Just because you don't think it is important doesn't make it a trivial concern. And with all due respect, you have not been a member of your sorority long enough to fully understand the considerations of group mentality when it comes to sorority policy or why this is important to those of us who have been members of our organizations for several years.

I am in no way saying you aren't a good member or a contributing future leader and asset to your organization.

For the record, I wish to state that to the best of my knowledge, the above post is in no way profane, obscene or otherwise in violation of the TOS.

blueangel · #**203** 10-05-2006, 12:10 PM

Thanks for clearing this up. I had no idea this was going on. I agree, it's quite inappropriate. I don't know who is more wrong-- those asking or those doing the sponsoring.

But is shutting down the forum the answer? I don't think so. The board does so much good. This is an unfortunate, but not unsolvable issue.

As a sidebar, "ignoring a PNAI until they go away." isn't tactful. In my opinion, it's cowardly and cruel. Better to tell them nicely that they are not a good fit for the organization.

33girl · #**204** 10-05-2006, 12:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blueangel

As a sidebar, "ignoring a PNAI until they go away." isn't tactful. In my opinion, it's cowardly and cruel. Better to tell them nicely that they are not a good fit for the organization.

WE DO! WE DID!! WE TRIED!!! That's when you start getting on everyone's case about "torturing" someone. Haven't you ever tried to break up with a guy nicely, that doesn't make a dent, so you have to resort to being mean to make him go away?

(Internally edited for exceptionally bitchy thoughts)

And how on earth can you say "the board does so much good" when it's AIs THEMSELVES who are coming forward asking for it to be deleted? You wanted a list before, fine. Turnabout is fair play. Make us a list of SUCCESSFUL AIs - women who have actually been initiated and are active in their GLO as alumnae - who want it to stay up.

Jen · #**205** 10-05-2006, 12:23 PM

I still think handling it as was mentioned earlier in the thread - directing women to the sororities and NPC women whenever someone requests AI info - a la the D9 - is the best way to go. That way they get directed to official sources and anyone on GC that feels the need to stick their heads in that PNAMs search may do so of her own volition.

And I've had sponsorship requests as well. They get deleted in a hot second.

greekalum · #**206** 10-05-2006, 12:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blueangel

As a sidebar, "ignoring a PNAI until they go away." isn't tactful. In my opinion, it's cowardly and cruel. Better to tell them nicely that they are not a good fit for the organization.

What about encouraging people like MBurden and Scandia, who were clearly not good fits for AI, when the majority of people on the board are discouraging them? That's not cowardly, but it sure was cruel to egg them on in a futile pursuit.

DSTCHAOS · #**207** 10-05-2006, 12:29 PM

33girl, valkyrie, CutiePie2000, and adpiucf are officially cool as a fan.

blueangel · #**208** 10-05-2006, 12:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

WE DO! WE DID!! WE TRIED!!! That's when you start getting on everyone's case about "torturing" someone. Haven't you ever tried to break up with a guy nicely, that doesn't make a dent, so you have to resort to being mean to make him go away?

(Internally edited for exceptionally bitchy thoughts)

And how on earth can you say "the board does so much good" when it's AIs THEMSELVES who are coming forward asking for it to be deleted? You wanted a list before, fine. Turnabout is fair play. Make us a list of SUCCESSFUL AIs - women who have actually been initiated and are active in their GLO as alumnae - who want it to stay up.

Yes, I've had boyfriends that wouldn't go away because I wasn't direct enough. That's my point. I've learned that the best way to tell someone it's not a good fit, is to say just that... not ignore them.

Why have people asked for things to be deleted on this board? Frankly, because some of these women have harrassed and tortured. They've been run off.

Rather than answer their questions politely, they're greeted with snippy, snappy, and rude comments. They're grilled about their reasons for wanting to AI. They're made to feel embarrassed for wanting to join a GLO. I think that's a shame.

blueangel · #**209** 10-05-2006, 12:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by greekalum

What about encouraging people like MBurden and Scandia, who were clearly not good fits for AI, when the majority of people on the board are discouraging them? That's not cowardly, but it sure was cruel to egg them on in a futile pursuit.

It is not for you or I to decide whether they were "good fits." It is up to the International HQ and the local chapter of the inidividual GLO to decide. I didn't see "the majority" of the board "discouraging" them. I saw a very small, but very vocal minority being extremely cruel to them.

33girl · #**210** 10-05-2006, 12:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blueangel

Why have people asked for things to be deleted on this board? Frankly, because some of these women have harrassed and tortured. They've been run off.

Rather than answer their questions politely, they're greeted with snippy, snappy, and rude comments. They're grilled about their reasons for wanting to AI. They're made to feel embarrassed for wanting to join a GLO. I think that's a shame.

PLEASE LEARN TO READ WHEN RESPONDING TO MY POSTS.

AIs are asking for the board to be deleted because they're embarrassed about it - not because anyone "tortured" them!!

And if hopeful AIs were "run off" because of comments on a message board, then I doubt they would have been very successful in their AI pursuit. Or maybe they decided we were all just a bunch of bitches, said phooey on GC, contacted the sororities themselves, went through proper channels, and AIed successfully.

AND if there are AIs who aren't on here anymore because someone said the way they conducted their AI pursuit was not, shall we say, the best...then that just confirms what was said about them to begin with. If someone calls you on something and you don't bother to refute it, or explain it, then maybe it's because you know in your heart that they're right.

Kind of like my comment about ZTA not AIing very often so you really don't have to worry about who AIs into your sorority.

Oh, and I'm still waiting for that list.