Would you marry someone in the military?

alum · #1 10-05-2006, 11:06 AM

Obviously for me, the answer is a big yes. Of course we started dating even before GEN Alum was a plebe at West Point.....

Glitter650 · #2 10-05-2006, 01:20 PM

IDk my roommate is engaged to a Navy man and his schedule makes my head spin, constantly changing, no advanced notice... here two weeks, gone two weeks, gone 6 months , and jsut yesterday she got an E mail saying "Honey I'm going to be gone 6 weeks instead of three." AND she's never even seen him in uniform !!
My best friend from High School is marrying an Army man in a month and has to move to TX, and maybe he will be sent away after that...

IDK I guess if I met a man, and he was THE ONE For me, I'd do it, but I don't really care to share my man with the US government, no matter how good they look in those uniforms... (and they DO look GOOD)

BadSquirrelBeta · #3 10-10-2006, 01:31 AM

I did marry a Marine...10 years ago. And while he is no longer active duty I certainly identify with some of the military families here since I live between an Army and and AF base...plus a Navy base just a couple hours away.

I find myself secretly thanking my lucky stars when I don't have a husband out in the field any more for weeks on end, at drill or getting ready to deploy yet again to Iraq.

dekeguy · #4 10-10-2006, 10:50 AM

To serve your country as a soldier is an honor and a privelege but it demands much. It is not for the faint hearted and not for the self indulgent. It draws upon the deepest commitment to public service where one literally lays one's life on the line to defend our nation and our people. The conditions are often harsh and the pay is moderate, to say the least. Those who take up this path ask much of themselves and much of those they love. To those who have taken the Oath and served, I salute you. Those who have loved these men and women and followed the difficult path with them giving them strength and support not to weaken in resolve and to share the burden of service, I admire and perhaps revere you. To those whose attitude toward marrying or getting involved with someone in the military is shaped by how hot they look in uniform, I shake my head in disbelief at how shallow you are. To those who couldn't marry a soldier because it would be just too inconvenient to your lifestyle, contempt is a good word, but it really just does not convey the revulsion I feel at your self centered dismissal of those who guarantee your liberty while they lay it all on the line for you.

33girl · #5 10-11-2006, 05:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dekeguy

To those who couldn't marry a soldier because it would be just too inconvenient to your lifestyle, contempt is a good word, but it really just does not convey the revulsion I feel at your self centered dismissal of those who guarantee your liberty while they lay it all on the line for you.

Nowhere did I, or anyone, ever say that they didn't appreciate the sacrifices the men and the women of the military make for this country and its citizens. They simply said they wouldn't want to marry someone with that lifestyle. That, to me, is better than saying "love conquers all" and naively thinking it's the truth.

One of my exes had a vasectomy at what some would consider a young age. He told me it was because he didn't ever want to be responsible for anyone other than himself. Now, some people might consider that selfish - I consider it supremely the opposite. He knows he wouldn't be happy being tied down with a child, so he's going to do what is best for him and not subject a child to his unhappiness, rather than reproducing just because that's what society tells him to do.

I wouldn't be happy with the military lifestyle. Therefore, I wouldn't marry a man who is committed to it and make both of us miserable.

DSTCHAOS · #6 10-11-2006, 05:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

That, to me, is better than saying "love conquers all" and naively thinking it's the truth.

Exactly.

Too bad love hasn't reduced the nation's divorce rate. Or the nation's domestic violence rate. That's because the factors that contribute to violence and divorce have little to do with "love."

dekeguy · #7 10-11-2006, 05:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

[b]Nowhere did I, or anyone, ever say that they didn't appreciate the sacrifices the men and the women of the military make for this country and its citizens. They simply said they wouldn't want to marry someone with that lifestyle. That, to me, is better than saying "love conquers all" and naively thinking it's the truth.

One of my exes had a vasectomy at what some would consider a young age. He told me it was because he didn't ever want to be responsible for anyone other than himself. Now, some people might consider that selfish - I consider it supremely the opposite. He knows he wouldn't be happy being tied down with a child, so he's going to do what is best for him and not subject a child to his unhappiness, rather than reproducing just because that's what society tells him to do.

I wouldn't be happy with the military lifestyle. Therefore, I wouldn't marry a man who is committed to it and make both of us miserable.

===================

I don't recall singling out you or any other specific GCer in my post. I stated my opinion. I believe the gist of my comment was that the military lifestyle, while admirable and honorable, is a tough row to hoe, and is certainly not for everyone. I do admire those who do choose to love and support the men and women of the fighting forces because it is such a difficult path to follow.
I have no problem with those who upon reflection conclude that such a path is not for them. However, I do not admire those who approach the question with shallowness, and I do not admire those who reject the possibility on the basis of inconvenience.
You are certainly entitled to your opinion, just as I am entitled to mine, and mine stands as written.

DSTCHAOS · #8 10-11-2006, 06:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dekeguy

===================

I don't recall singling out you or any other specific GCer in my post. I stated my opinion. I believe the gist of my comment was that the military lifestyle, while admirable and honorable, is a tough row to hoe, and is certainly not for everyone. I do admire those who do choose to love and support the men and women of the fighting forces because it is such a difficult path to follow.
I have no problem with those who upon reflection conclude that such a path is not for them. However, I do not admire those who approach the question with shallowness, and I do not admire those who reject the possibility on the basis of inconvenience.
You are certainly entitled to your opinion, just as I am entitled to mine, and mine stands as written.

You don't have to single anyone out. You were clearly stating an opinion of some of the opinions you read in this thread. Since we're all entitled to opinions, we're stating our opinions of your opinion.

No one is seeking your admiration.

valkyrie · #9 10-11-2006, 06:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dekeguy

However, I do not admire those who approach the question with shallowness, and I do not admire those who reject the possibility on the basis of inconvenience.

Would you marry a woman who weighs 300 pounds?

33girl · #10 10-12-2006, 11:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dekeguy

I do not admire those who reject the possibility on the basis of inconvenience.

I'd call the very real possibility of being deeply depressed because my husband is gone for months at a time and raising children largely on my own a bit more than an "inconvenience."

DSTCHAOS · #11 10-11-2006, 05:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dekeguy

To those who couldn't marry a soldier because it would be just too inconvenient to your lifestyle, contempt is a good word, but it really just does not convey the revulsion I feel at your self centered dismissal of those who guarantee your liberty while they lay it all on the line for you.

Get over it. As grown adults we can pick and choose who we want to be involved with based on our expectations and goals.

I feel no need to show my appreciation for the military by marrying a military man. In terms of a life partner, I prefer a different type of man and a different type of family. If you want to be selfless and put your life on the line, as well as on hold, then that's what works for you and yours. It wouldn't work for me and mine.

dekeguy · #12 10-12-2006, 12:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

If you want to be selfless and put your life on the line, as well as on hold, then that's what works for you and yours. It wouldn't work for me and mine.

Actually, it does work for me. I figure that serving my country didn't put my life on hold but rather it gave me the chance to invest something of myself into my belief in the obligation of public service. If one is going to talk the talk it really does follow that one must be prepared to walk the walk. If you are interested you might find my postings in the AVE ATQUE VALE thread worth reading and perhaps a bit amusing.

DSTCHAOS · #13 10-12-2006, 12:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dekeguy

Actually, it does work for me. I figure that serving my country didn't put my life on hold but rather it gave me the chance to invest something of myself into my belief in the obligation of public service. If one is going to talk the talk it really does follow that one must be prepared to walk the walk. If you are interested you might find my postings in the AVE ATQUE VALE thread worth reading and perhaps a bit amusing.

Well congrats to you and your family.

I'm not interested in your story, but suffice it to say that I also feel obligated to do public service. This is why I have been doing community service all of my life and chose the profession that I chose.