Would you marry someone in the military?

Jill1228 · #1 10-04-2006, 07:08 PM

amen to that girl! A Marine in dress uniform still makes me drool (I may be married, but I am SO NOT dead!)

But the answer to the question would be yeah I would have married someone in the military. I almost married an Air Force pilot (the dude I was with in college)

But things went a different way

Quote:

Originally Posted by ASUADPi

Even though this is 3 years old I must respond

Amen! They are so hot!!! I personally love marines, because I LOVE their dress uniform.

epchick · #2 10-05-2006, 02:26 AM

I go with the idea that you love who you love.

If I so happened to fall in love with a military man, I would marry him.

I don't think it would be right for me to tell him that I wouldn't marry him because he was military. If that is what he loves doing, then who am I to tell him otherwise, ya know?

Plus I grew up a military brat, so its no big thing to me.

alum · #3 10-05-2006, 11:06 AM

Obviously for me, the answer is a big yes. Of course we started dating even before GEN Alum was a plebe at West Point.....

Glitter650 · #4 10-05-2006, 01:20 PM

IDk my roommate is engaged to a Navy man and his schedule makes my head spin, constantly changing, no advanced notice... here two weeks, gone two weeks, gone 6 months , and jsut yesterday she got an E mail saying "Honey I'm going to be gone 6 weeks instead of three." AND she's never even seen him in uniform !!
My best friend from High School is marrying an Army man in a month and has to move to TX, and maybe he will be sent away after that...

IDK I guess if I met a man, and he was THE ONE For me, I'd do it, but I don't really care to share my man with the US government, no matter how good they look in those uniforms... (and they DO look GOOD)

BadSquirrelBeta · #5 10-10-2006, 01:31 AM

I did marry a Marine...10 years ago. And while he is no longer active duty I certainly identify with some of the military families here since I live between an Army and and AF base...plus a Navy base just a couple hours away.

I find myself secretly thanking my lucky stars when I don't have a husband out in the field any more for weeks on end, at drill or getting ready to deploy yet again to Iraq.

dekeguy · #6 10-10-2006, 10:50 AM

To serve your country as a soldier is an honor and a privelege but it demands much. It is not for the faint hearted and not for the self indulgent. It draws upon the deepest commitment to public service where one literally lays one's life on the line to defend our nation and our people. The conditions are often harsh and the pay is moderate, to say the least. Those who take up this path ask much of themselves and much of those they love. To those who have taken the Oath and served, I salute you. Those who have loved these men and women and followed the difficult path with them giving them strength and support not to weaken in resolve and to share the burden of service, I admire and perhaps revere you. To those whose attitude toward marrying or getting involved with someone in the military is shaped by how hot they look in uniform, I shake my head in disbelief at how shallow you are. To those who couldn't marry a soldier because it would be just too inconvenient to your lifestyle, contempt is a good word, but it really just does not convey the revulsion I feel at your self centered dismissal of those who guarantee your liberty while they lay it all on the line for you.

33girl · #7 10-11-2006, 05:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dekeguy

To those who couldn't marry a soldier because it would be just too inconvenient to your lifestyle, contempt is a good word, but it really just does not convey the revulsion I feel at your self centered dismissal of those who guarantee your liberty while they lay it all on the line for you.

Nowhere did I, or anyone, ever say that they didn't appreciate the sacrifices the men and the women of the military make for this country and its citizens. They simply said they wouldn't want to marry someone with that lifestyle. That, to me, is better than saying "love conquers all" and naively thinking it's the truth.

One of my exes had a vasectomy at what some would consider a young age. He told me it was because he didn't ever want to be responsible for anyone other than himself. Now, some people might consider that selfish - I consider it supremely the opposite. He knows he wouldn't be happy being tied down with a child, so he's going to do what is best for him and not subject a child to his unhappiness, rather than reproducing just because that's what society tells him to do.

I wouldn't be happy with the military lifestyle. Therefore, I wouldn't marry a man who is committed to it and make both of us miserable.

DSTCHAOS · #8 10-11-2006, 05:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dekeguy

To those who couldn't marry a soldier because it would be just too inconvenient to your lifestyle, contempt is a good word, but it really just does not convey the revulsion I feel at your self centered dismissal of those who guarantee your liberty while they lay it all on the line for you.

Get over it. As grown adults we can pick and choose who we want to be involved with based on our expectations and goals.

I feel no need to show my appreciation for the military by marrying a military man. In terms of a life partner, I prefer a different type of man and a different type of family. If you want to be selfless and put your life on the line, as well as on hold, then that's what works for you and yours. It wouldn't work for me and mine.

scbelle · #9 10-11-2006, 03:37 PM

Well, I am married to a captain in the US Army. We have been together since college 8years ago when he was in ROTC and he told me to count on 20 years, so I went in knowing his commitment level to the military. Only now, with everything going on, his commitment is waning a bit. Two Iraq tours and no for-sure end in sight can wreak havoc on a family. And I think it was valkyrie that posted way back 3 or so years ago about being bleeding-heart liberal-- let's just say now, I've met a lot more people in the Army along that frame of mind than I think were there (or willing to admit) before.

I love my husband deeply and support his every endeavor (and the fact that he's sexy as hayle in ALL of his uniforms definitely helps!, as well as the fact my father is a minister, so I had that moving thing down pat way before my hubby came into the picture

) But I'm also a Marriage and Family Therapist and work with military families and see that the casualties of war are not just on the battlefield, but on the homefront as well. Affairs, divorces, children not knowing their parents, domestic violence, addictions... it's a very sad state of affairs.

I think for anyone contemplating marriage to the military, the couple needs to go in with eyes wide open and explore all expectations of the relationship. It's the only way for success, because I've seen the proof that love is definitely not enough.

DSTCHAOS · #10 10-11-2006, 03:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by scbelle

Well, I am married to a captain in the US Army. We have been together since college 8years ago when he was in ROTC and he told me to count on 20 years, so I went in knowing his commitment level to the military. Only now, with everything going on, his commitment is waning a bit. Two Iraq tours and no for-sure end in sight can wreak havoc on a family. And I think it was valkyrie that posted way back 3 or so years ago about being bleeding-heart liberal-- let's just say now, I've met a lot more people in the Army along that frame of mind than I think were there (or willing to admit) before.

I love my husband deeply and support his every endeavor (and the fact that he's sexy as hayle in ALL of his uniforms definitely helps!, as well as the fact my father is a minister, so I had that moving thing down pat way before my hubby came into the picture

) But I'm also a Marriage and Family Therapist and work with military families and see that the casualties of war are not just on the battlefield, but on the homefront as well. Affairs, divorces, children not knowing their parents, domestic violence, addictions... it's a very sad state of affairs.

I think for anyone contemplating marriage to the military, the couple needs to go in with eyes wide open and explore all expectations of the relationship. It's the only way for success, because I've seen the proof that love is definitely not enough.

This is a very powerful post.

KillarneyRose · #11 10-14-2006, 10:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by scbelle

love is definitely not enough.

Excellent post, scbelle, and the last line was the best. The chaplain who officiated at our wedding said that very thing and I remember thinking, "how CALLOUS that sounds!" But, yep, he was right.