Graduate Student and AI

[texas*princess]

I think one of the things I don't think I will ever understand is that some people can't get past the whole sorority thing.

I am pretty sure that if I hadn't found my home while I was in school, my life would have moved on, and I wouldn't worry 10 years later about finding that sorority that I didn't join when I was in college.

I probably won't be doing the grad school thing for awhile, but if I was in grad school, I'd have more important things to worry about (ummm grad school... work, and the rest of my life) than to think 'gosh darnit! i need to find a sorority home because I didn't find one that fit in college!!'

Sorry for the rant, but I really just don't get it.

[AUDeltaGam]

As someone who's IN grad school (2nd year), I don't see how anyone has time to relax, let alone find a sorority home. If a person is dead-set on AI-ing, I would advise them to wait until after they've finished grad school. There are more important things to worry about while in grad school.

Just my $0.02.

[Dionysus]

Grad school's tough, but if you don't have enough time to relax (for anything), you're probably taking too many hours.

[blueangel]

Originally Posted by AUDeltaGam

As someone who's IN grad school (2nd year), I don't see how anyone has time to relax, let alone find a sorority home. If a person is dead-set on AI-ing, I would advise them to wait until after they've finished grad school. There are more important things to worry about while in grad school.

Just my $0.02.

There is a very famous motivational speaker named Zig Zigler who once did a talk about putting things off that we want to do. He said that we often miss opportunities in our life because we are always caught up with what we're doing now.

For instance, we say, "Oh, I'll do that after I graduate college." Then we graduate and find outselves busy looking for a job. "Oh, I'll do that once I find a job." Then we are busy with our new job. "Oh, I'll do that once I get married and have two incomes." But then we're busy with out new home and our new husband and a new baby. "Oh, I'll do that once the baby is old enough to go to school." But then we get a job when the child is in school. "Oh, I'll do that once I retire.."

.... and on and on it goes.

The moral of the story is, if we want to do something badly enough, we can make the time to do it.

And speaking of AI'ing.. it's a long, difficult process. But aside from sending out a letter and meeting the local chapter.. it's not a time consuming process. It's more about waiting.

If one finds their home through AI, it can be as busy as you choose-- depending on how involved you want to be. There are no mandatory meetings... you are as active as your schedule permits, and put in as much (or as little) time as you like.

[TrueBlueKappa]

Originally Posted by blueangel

There is a very famous motivational speaker named Zig Zigler who once did a talk about putting things off that we want to do. He said that we often miss opportunities in our life because we are always caught up with what we're doing now.

I'd think getting "caught up with" getting an education should probably come before geting "caught up with" AIing a sorority.

Just my $.02.

[AUDeltaGam]

Originally Posted by TrueBlueKappa

I'd think getting "caught up with" getting an education should probably come before geting "caught up with" AIing a sorority.

Just my $.02.

You had me at W.E.

[blueangel]

Originally Posted by TrueBlueKappa

I'd think getting "caught up with" getting an education should probably come before geting "caught up with" AIing a sorority.

Just my $.02.

I agree! School comes first.

And that is exactly my point. The AI application process on the part of the PNAM is not a time consuming endeavor. However, it can be a very long waiting process. There is even a chance that the person would have graduated by the time she was initiated!

And, as I stated in my post above.. once someone finds their home through AI, they can be as active as their schedule permits.

My AA usually has one social or philanthropy event a month. I think that's pretty typical... although some have more (such as the huge AA Houston chapter) and some have less.

Unless someone is a chapter advisor or an officer in my AA.. it would mean that if the person went to every single event-- she would only be devoting two hours or so a month. That doesn't seem out of line for a grad student.

[TrueBlueKappa]

I read your original post and understand what you're saying. But, from reading all these AI threads, it seems that women sometimes get very caught up in the whole AI process. We see threads time after time written by obsessed women who spend quite a bit of time trying to initiate, speed along, and/or worry about the AI process.

[blueangel]

Originally Posted by TrueBlueKappa

I read your original post and understand what you're saying. But, from reading all these AI threads, it seems that women sometimes get very caught up in the whole AI process. We see threads time after time written by obsessed women who spend quite a bit of time trying to initiate, speed along, and/or worry about the AI process.

Yes, it's exciting for the women who are going through the process... just as it's exciting for women who are going through collegiate rush. Some post a lot about it because they have questions, or they want to share their experiences.

And yes, they do worry about it.. that's natural when it's something that means a lot to them, and they're not getting any feedback. The AI process is very difficult, and can be quite the emotional rollercoaster. Often there is silence on the end of the GLO for many months-- leading the PNAM to wonder if she's out of consideration, or if there is something holding up the process-- like a national vote, or misplaced paperwork.

However, I don't see the obsession you mention in the threads. Maybe it's a difference in the way we are perceiving these threads.

[CutiePie2000]

Originally Posted by TrueBlueKappa

We see threads time after time written by obsessed women who spend quite a bit of time trying to initiate, speed along, and/or worry about the AI process.

I think the reason why these women get stalled, is because they are approaching groups on their own recommendation and therefore, do not have anyone on the "inside" who can or will "vouch" for them, or give them updates as to what is happening.

[blueangel]

Originally Posted by texas*princess

I think one of the things I don't think I will ever understand is that some people can't get past the whole sorority thing.

I am pretty sure that if I hadn't found my home while I was in school, my life would have moved on, and I wouldn't worry 10 years later about finding that sorority that I didn't join when I was in college.

I probably won't be doing the grad school thing for awhile, but if I was in grad school, I'd have more important things to worry about (ummm grad school... work, and the rest of my life) than to think 'gosh darnit! i need to find a sorority home because I didn't find one that fit in college!!'

Sorry for the rant, but I really just don't get it.

One of ZTA's slogans is, "Zeta is Forever." It doesn't say, "Zeta is for your college years".. it says "forever." College is only four years.. "forever" is a very long time. Hope that helps.

[ScarletRed]

Originally Posted by texas*princess

I think one of the things I don't think I will ever understand is that some people can't get past the whole sorority thing.

I am pretty sure that if I hadn't found my home while I was in school, my life would have moved on, and I wouldn't worry 10 years later about finding that sorority that I didn't join when I was in college.

I probably won't be doing the grad school thing for awhile, but if I was in grad school, I'd have more important things to worry about (ummm grad school... work, and the rest of my life) than to think 'gosh darnit! i need to find a sorority home because I didn't find one that fit in college!!'

Sorry for the rant, but I really just don't get it.

I don't believe that women that pursue AI are "obsessed" with trying to complete an unfulfilled college dream or "obsessed" with joining a sorority, just because they are going AI, or don't have anything better to do with their adult life because they want to join.

Sororities are different than the vast majority of organizations for women. Sororities are for life. I can't think of any other organizations for women that work quite like sororities do, thus can 100% understand the appeal.

I see the Eastern Star mentioned from time to time, and I am a legacy of that organization with a father, grandfather, and great-grandfather that were Masons and a grandmother that was an ES member. However, if you checked around at the locals, unless you are 65 years old, you'll be way out of your age group if you join.

I see alot of those that don't particularly care for AI's on the GC message board, but I look at it like this: If you don't like the AI process, then you should wage a campaign with your national to get the process banned.

The collegiate chapters run their show the way they see fit, and therefore, the alumnae chapters do as well. If they don't want to accept an AI member, they don't have to. If they choose that option, you can bet there is a reason why.

There is more of a chance of a collegiate "weirdo" member joining as a Freshman after a single week of recruitment activities than there is an AI who usually takes 6 months to a year and many meetings to complete the process.

If I am going to be a member of my sorority, then I am going to support ALL of my other sisters, not just the ones that I pick and choose and single out because of the way they joined.

If someone cannot embrace that, then they should not be a member of a sorority at all.

[SigKapSweetie]

There is more of a chance of a collegiate "weirdo" member joining as a Freshman after a single week of recruitment activities than there is an AI who usually takes 6 months to a year and many meetings to complete the process.

You may be on to something there.

[Taualumna]

Originally Posted by ScarletRed

I .

I see the Eastern Star mentioned from time to time, and I am a legacy of that organization with a father, grandfather, and great-grandfather that were Masons and a grandmother that was an ES member. However, if you checked around at the locals, unless you are 65 years old, you'll be way out of your age group if you join.

Even Junior League can be "older." While provisionals are nowhere near 65, many are already in their 30s and have had a few years of work/real life experience.

[blueangel]

You're right TauAlumna, it really depends on the Junior League. My provisional class had women as young as their early 20's to one woman in her early 60's. Most however, seemed to be in their mid to late 30's. Some Junior Leagues (such as the one in my area) have done away with sponsorships and age limits. If you're female and you're breathing in and out... you can join.

And back on subject, I want to clear something up. I've noticed that there seems to be a disturbing tactic on this board of "saying something untrue often enough, and it is believed." Specifically, I'm referring to the untrue allegation that I believe everyone should be an AI and that everyone is worthy of being an AI. I never said that and I challenge those who are spreading this untruth around to quote a post in which I said that.

I do, however, believe anyone who wishes to try, to be allowed to ask questions and pursue their dreams without harrassment on this forum.

I want to make it clear that I believe not everyone is a good fit for a sorority.. but it isn't up to you nor I to make that judgement.. it is up to the individual Alumnae Chapters and International HQs.