Graduate Student and AI

[AChiOhSnap]

I don't think there's anything wrong with a graduate student going through recruitment (it is a little weird if you're like 35 or if you're married with kids) as long as she knows that her status is going to close some doors. The only thing I think is "bad" about a graduate student going through recruitment is I would ask myself "How much time is this woman going to really be able to devote to my organization?" If you're doing 50+ hours a week of teaching assistantships, research, classes...well, I'm going to seriously question whether or not you'll be able to devote extra hours to the sorority during your new member period.

It's not about the age, really, it's about my ideas -- true or not -- on what kind of lifestyle a graduate student leads. If a grad student finds a sorority that knows her situation and is willing to extend a bid, then I think that's amazing. But I also completely understand why certain sororities ban graduate students from joining undergraduate chapters.

[LPIDelta]

the face of the college student today, at many schools, is changing. On some campuses, non-traditional aged students are arriving in droves. If we are going to survive, I think we need to at least be open to considering older students.

It really is something that needs to be considered on a case by case basis.

[SydneyK]

Originally Posted by AChiOhSnap

It's not about the age, really, it's about my ideas -- true or not -- on what kind of lifestyle a graduate student leads.

I agree completely. I can't even fathom having sorority responsibilities on top of grad school obligations. And that's from an active's POV. It would be even harder from a new member's POV (I would think).

Plus, and this is based on my grad school experience, the amount of time you'll spend with your grad school classmates is impossible to comprehend if you haven't been there. It's like its own sorority/fraternity; you sure don't need to go find another one!

You'll be much more successful in your studies if you develop friendships with your classmates instead of trying to cultivate relationships outside your discipline. And, profs know when their grad students are having program-related conversations outside of class. You'll leave grad school with much stronger prof recommendations and relationships if you engage regularly in those types of conversations. And not all of those conversations have to happen in an academic setting. Heck, I think some of my most productive grad school moments were had at the bar where our department gathered regularly. They were the most fun moments, too!

While I love my sisters, I didn't miss having a chapter around me while I was in grad school. If anything, I think they would've distracted me from what I was there to do. But, I'm easily distracted.

[Dionysus]

Originally Posted by SydneyK

I agree completely. I can't even fathom having sorority responsibilities on top of grad school obligations. And that's from an active's POV. It would be even harder from a new member's POV (I would think).

Plus, and this is based on my grad school experience, the amount of time you'll spend with your grad school classmates is impossible to comprehend if you haven't been there. It's like its own sorority/fraternity; you sure don't need to go find another one!

You'll be much more successful in your studies if you develop friendships with your classmates instead of trying to cultivate relationships outside your discipline. And, profs know when their grad students are having program-related conversations outside of class. You'll leave grad school with much stronger prof recommendations and relationships if you engage regularly in those types of conversations. And not all of those conversations have to happen in an academic setting. Heck, I think some of my most productive grad school moments were had at the bar where our department gathered regularly. They were the most fun moments, too!

While I love my sisters, I didn't miss having a chapter around me while I was in grad school. If anything, I think they would've distracted me from what I was there to do. But, I'm easily distracted.

I have ZERO interest in developing friendships with the people in my program. There's only two people I would consider being friends with. I have nothing in common with my classmates, with the exception of those two I mentioned. Over half of them are near my mother's age. Most of the younger folks are married or have kids and work full time. I have a lot more in common with people in my chapter and friends I met at church and part-time jobs (which were made prior to grad school).

[erica812]

I have also found that grad students are not really into "making friends." I'm working on my second graduate degree, and in both experiences, the relationships I form in school are more like the professional relationships you would make with fellow employees. You are friendly with one another and you discuss your work (academic interests), but you don't "hang out" on the weekends or call to cry about your love life.

I joined Beta Sigma Phi during my second year of my masters degree because I was looking for a different kind of friendship, a sisterhood. Of course, I know that Beta Sigma Phi is a lot different than NPC membership, so maybe that it is why it was such a perfect fit. I was able to build strong friendships, make memories, be part of a great tradition, but my chapter didn't require the huge time commitment that an NPC chapter would.

To the original poster, if the chapter itself suggested AI, then I think I would at least follow up. It might be an interesting opportunity.

[Dionysus]

Originally Posted by erica812

I have also found that grad students are not really into "making friends." I'm working on my second graduate degree, and in both experiences, the relationships I form in school are more like the professional relationships you would make with fellow employees. You are friendly with one another and you discuss your work (academic interests), but you don't "hang out" on the weekends or call to cry about your love life.
.

Exactly. My classmates are very friendly. An example, we all introduce ourselves before our class starts, at the beginning of each semester. That would've NEVER happened in undergrad. However, the relationships are very "surface". Conversations don't really extend beyond "How's the weather?". I find a lot of them to be hyper professional. The few us who aren't, stick out like a sore thumb (and are fun to have around these 6 hour classes). There's a lot of faces whenever they share their experiences in class. I want to open up, but I'm not sure that's a good idea, lol.

[SydneyK]

I should've prefaced my post with a disclaimer. I know all graduate programs are different. And, all universities are different, so even the same program of study would have a different atmosphere at a different school.

My grad school classmates were very friendly, without being hyper professional. We actually did our fair share of crying to each other about our love lives, frustrations with profs, anxieties about success, etc... Truly, the friendships I had in grad school were much deeper than the majority of the ones I had as an undergrad.

But like I said, every program and school is different. The OP might be studying something that doesn't lend itself to developing friendships outside of class. Or the university might not foster such an atmosphere. All I can base my opinion on is my experience. And all I'm saying is that I would've found it extremely difficult to be a new member of a sorority while I was in grad school. And not only would I have found that difficult, but I also would've missed out on a lot of other (extremely valuable) relationships.

[erica812]

No need to preface...we all know that we each write from a different prospective. Just wanted to give mine. Perhaps the original poster is in one of those situations that leads her to desire stronger friendships outside of her program.

[PeppyGPhiB]

What I was really trying to get at with my question about grad students joining NPC collegiate chapters is that grad students are at a different stage in their life than the typical undergrad student. Some grad students go right from undergrad to grad school (which is why I said I could understand some of the appeal if the woman in question is 22-23) but many grad students have been out of school for a couple years or more before enrolling. It is not just about age, but experience also.

We could assume questions like this come from a "Doogie Houser" (to quote someone above)-like child prodigy, or we can assume she went through college at the same age most young adults in this country do.
I realize there are exceptions to the "typical" pledge class of 18 year olds, but I do believe that in most cases *most* (not necessarily all) new member classes are freshmen and sophomores. Yes, juniors and seniors rush, too, but not in the large numbers that freshmen do.

Anyway, my point is I still don't "get" why a woman, say, 25, would want to hang out all the time - re-living the college years, if you will - with women and men that in some cases would be seven years younger than her. They won't be able to empathize with her grad school experience, and they may not be looking for someone older and wiser to give them advice.

I realize the OP may indeed be 22 or 23 years old and so this may not apply to her situation. I was throwing this question out there because I've seen it pop up a lot on the boards lately.