Things you want to say (but shouldn't) outloud at work

[AGDee]

You have re-imaged at least 50 PCs. Just because you have been focused on something else for two weeks doesn't mean you should have completely forgotten how to do this! Do you just totally freak out when we're under pressure to get something done quickly or are you just stupid??? It's faster to just do it myself than to ask you to do ANYTHING because you never remember how to do anything. READ THE DOCUMENTATION. It's step by step. That's why it's there.

I don't even want to go to work today and deal with this. I loved my job before you came along. I really need an assistant who has a brain.

[adpiucf]

Answer your @#%#^$ cell phone or turn it off. I think your ring tone has to be the most annoying sound ever invented.