rumblytumbly's rush

[xo_kathy]

Originally Posted by rumblytumbly

I didn't sign any bid card...

Often times the term "bid" is used when in reality people are actually referring to card you filled out after pref parties that had your ranking on it. By filling that out it means you will accept a bid from any of the sororities you listed. Since you were offered a bid and did not accept it, you are now ineleigible to participate in any form of recruitment for one calendar year.

[AZ-AlphaXi]

Originally Posted by xo_kathy

Since you were offered a bid and did not accept it, you are now ineleigible to participate in any form of recruitment for one calendar year.

This includes COB at anytime during the year and informal recruitment in the spring. You are not allowed to accept an invitation to join an NPC group until formal recruitment next year.

[IHeartUGA]

It's my understanding that unless she actually signed a bid card she is free to participate in any form of recruitment that she wants. However, if she were to have actually SIGNED the bid card, only then would she have to wait one calendar year to participate in recruitment.

[_Lisa_]

It breaks my heart to see someone get a bid & not even give the house a chance. God knows how many girls would've loved a bid.

[adpiucf]

Originally Posted by crzychx

It breaks my heart to see someone get a bid & not even give the house a chance. God knows how many girls would've loved a bid.

That may be true, but it is still her choice and I don't think it is our place to give her a hard time for making the decision that she feels is right for her. I give her credit for continuing to post and answer questions!

Quite honestly, I see the potential nightmare in encouraging SIP, but if more PNMs who wanted to SIP, did SIP and were released from recruitment rather than be placed into a chapter someone else may have wanted, we would likely have more committed long-term members. Sure, plenty of women receive their 2nd choice or lower... and end up happy. Even more get their first choice and end up happy. And somewhere along their 4 years in college, they decide they don't want to be part of a sorority anymore, for whatever the reason, and drop.

I'd rather see someone not show up at Bid Day b/c she knows it is not what she wants, then to put up a pretense and spend a lot of time and money, and for the chapter to invest their time and hearts into someone who doesn't want to be there.

I'm not coming down on your crazychx, but I am reading this thread and I feel a lot of anymosity coming from sorority women to this girl. If she hadn't been matched, this thread would be covered with (((hugs))) and regrets and good luck wishes. Instead, we're being critical. Yes, I feel that if you give your 2 or 7th choice a shot you may love it, but that has to be a snap decision you make on Bid Day, and if you're so disappointed and unhappy at seeing your top choice did not make you an offer, you may go home crying instead. Or worse, lock yourself into the bathroom of your new sorority house, spreading your misery to the rest of the happy chapter and new sisters.

So, I'm happy that Rumbly made the decision that this wasn't what she wanted. Maybe she'll rush again and get into the chapter she wants to become a member of; maybe that sorority will be a different sorority than it was this fall. Maybe she won't get into the chapter she wants if she rushes again. But the fact is that this fall is over, and she didn't join a sorority. Let's stop pressuring her. I imagine that this is a hard time for her as it is.

[_Lisa_]

Thats OK adpiucf, I know you aren't coming down on me & I understand what you're saying.

And Adelphean, I definitely wouldn't want a girl crying at the house if she didn't want to be there. I don't know how other schools do it, but at UK the girls that don't want to sign their bids don't ever have to meet the other pledges or sisters.

My comment was mostly made to show how I feel in regards to everyone keeping an open mind. It makes me sad to see someone not keep an open mind & be willing to give any sorority a chance, when there are so many girls that received no bid & would be willing. Thats all, I'm not trying to come down on the OP.

[ThetaPrincess24]

Originally Posted by crzychx

My comment was mostly made to show how I feel in regards to everyone keeping an open mind. It makes me sad to see someone not keep an open mind & be willing to give any sorority a chance, when there are so many girls that received no bid & would be willing. Thats all, I'm not trying to come down on the OP.

I agree. We had one girl a few years ago who eventhough she put us on her bid list she wanted to be in another chapter. When she opened her bid and discovered it was from us and not the other chapter, she went to her dorm room and cried and refused to come to our bid day activities. HOwever we wanted her to be a member and cared about her even at that point enough that we sent to her dorm room two seniors (who LOVED Theta with all their heart and soul) to talk to her. They convinced her to come to our floor and hang out with the members and new members. She and we were so glad she did and decided to give us a chance afterall. Not only did she end up loving our chapter, but she also was voted "Best New Member" by the chapter and became quite a productive member!

[Adelphean]

Originally Posted by crzychx

It breaks my heart to see someone get a bid & not even give the house a chance. God knows how many girls would've loved a bid.

But do you want a girl who doesn't want to be there in YOUR house on bid day? The one thing I CAN'T stand is a crying girl who didn't get her favorite XYZ house on bid day. If you don't want to be there, you shouldn't have come in the first place.

[AChiOhSnap]

Originally Posted by Adelphean

But do you want a girl who doesn't want to be there in YOUR house on bid day? The one thing I CAN'T stand is a crying girl who didn't get her favorite XYZ house on bid day. If you don't want to be there, you shouldn't have come in the first place.

Ugh, I hate it too. I don't care how upset a new member is about her bid, crying is downright rude. This past year a PNM named "Sally" went to our pref ceremony and another sorority's pref ceremony. She ranked the other sorority first and AXO second. Right after she turned in her bid card she had a change of heart and decided she really wanted AXO. Well of course they told her she couldn't do that, that bid matching had already begun and it was final. She started bawling to the director of Greek Life, all the Rho Chis and Panhel president, and nobody could do anything about it. So of course Sally got a bid to the sorority she ranked #1 and went to their bid day SOBBING. It was so bad and so unnerving to the other new members that the president of XYZ had to call one of my sisters to have her calm this girl down. So one of my sisters had to leave AXO's bid night to go to XYZ's bid night to talk to Sally. It's fine to be disappointed, but don't sit there and sob hysterically and refuse to participate in bid night -- you preferenced that sorority -- so don't cry. Sally ended up staying on as a new member in XYZ and actually initiated, but I give lots of credit to XYZ for dealing with her. I would have wanted to tell her "Fine, if you hate us so much, there's the door, don't let it hit your ass on the way out."

[xo_kathy]

Originally Posted by rumblytumbly

I'm not allowed to through formal rcruitment for 1 year but spring recruitment is informal...right?

No. By not not accepting a bid from a group you listed on your preference card, you cannot be involved in any sort of recruitment proccess for one calendar year. Unless U of A doesn't follow the normal NPC rules - which could be a possibility but I highly doubt it. I suggest you call you campus Panhellenic to be sure.

Originally Posted by IHeartUGA

It's my understanding that unless she actually signed a bid card she is free to participate in any form of recruitment that she wants. However, if she were to have actually SIGNED the bid card, only then would she have to wait one calendar year to participate in recruitment.

This cannot be true since with some houses you never actually sign your bid card. For instance, Chi Omega bid cards do not have a spot for signature. If she filled out her preference card after pref parties, that is the card that is binding. Since she received a bid from one of the houses she went to for pref, I would assume she did in fact fill out that card. (I'm not sure all schools make you actually sign that card, but filling it in and submitting it with ABC and XYZ listed means you will accept a bid from either of those houses if they offer you one).

[rumblytumbly]

But they wouldn't allow us to SIP. If I had the option I would have cause in no way did I want to take a bid away from a girl that was truly deserving.

[AChiOhSnap]

Originally Posted by rumblytumbly

But they wouldn't allow us to SIP. If I had the option I would have cause in no way did I want to take a bid away from a girl that was truly deserving.

Say someone is in Rumblytumbly's shoes, where they go through recruitment and end up with invites to, say, two pref parties.

This PNM really loves ABC and doesn't really like XYZ, but since you have to go two, she goes to both pref parties.

When it comes time to preference the sororities, if the PNM really doesn't want to be a member of XYZ, and she's not allowed to SIP, wouldn't it make sense for the PNM to preference ABC and sorority DEF, a sorority which she liked but had already cut her? DEF would be highly unlikely to give her a bid, so then she would only really be able to get a bid from ABC or be released from recruitment. In that way, the PNM wouldn't be taking a bid from a sorority she didn't like and preventing another girl who really wanted XYZ from getting a bid.

I've always been confused about whether this would work, logistically, but it seemed to make sense to me when I thought about it.

[OtterXO]

Originally Posted by Alpha Chi Emily

Say someone is in Rumblytumbly's shoes, where they go through recruitment and end up with invites to, say, two pref parties.

This PNM really loves ABC and doesn't really like XYZ, but since you have to go two, she goes to both pref parties.

When it comes time to pref her sorority, if the PNM really doesn't want to be a member of XYZ, and she's not allowed to SIP, wouldn't it make sense for the PNM to preference ABC and sorority DEF, a sorority which she liked but had already cut her? DEF would be highly unlikely to give her a bid, so then she would only really be able to get a bid from ABC or be released from recruitment. In that way, the PNM wouldn't be taking a bid from a sorority she didn't like and preventing another girl who really wanted XYZ from getting a bid.

I've always been confused about whether this would work, logistically, but it seemed to make sense to me when I thought about it.

I believe that in order to follow panhellenic rules you have to rank the houses you attended that night. So unless you only preffed one house (with a maximum of two) you wouldn't be following panhell ruled unless you ranked both. That's my recollection, but anyone feel free to correct me.

[OtterXO]

Originally Posted by xo_kathy

This cannot be true since with some houses you never actually sign your bid card. For instance, Chi Omega bid cards do not have a spot for signature. If she filled out her preference card after pref parties, that is the card that is binding. Since she received a bid from one of the houses she went to for pref, I would assume she did in fact fill out that card. (I'm not sure all schools make you actually sign that card, but filling it in and submitting it with ABC and XYZ listed means you will accept a bid from either of those houses if they offer you one).

That's funny you should say that because I was just thinking that I don't remember signing a bid card. I recall that at my alma mater the procedure was as you described, filling out the preference card is binding. That's what makes it so scary if you pref a house you didn't love and one you do love. I put all three houses on my bid card and I REALLY wanted ChiO, was so-so about one and really did not feel comfortable at the third. But I put all three b/c my Rho Chi (as they were called in those days) told me it would maximize my chances of getting ChiO to follow the panhellenic rules and put all three....but the flip side was that if i received a bid from anyone I'd be prohibited from rushing again for a year.

[xo_kathy]

Originally Posted by OtterXO

But I put all three b/c my Rho Chi (as they were called in those days) told me it would maximize my chances of getting ChiO to follow the panhellenic rules and put all three....

Well, that is simply untrue. I don't know if the Rho Chi was trying to lie, or if she was just mis-informed, but the only thing that increased your chance of a Chi O bid was putting them #1.

Rumblytumbly, I am sorry it turned out this way and you were not allowed to SIP. However, before attending open COR events in the Spring to get to know the ladies, PLEASE check with Panhellenic and mkae sure this is ok. You don't want to break any rules and jepordize your chances for next year. Also, if they say it is ok, please be sure to inform the women at the chapters that you are not eleigible for a bid until fall. You don't want them to have problems either.