Texas Daughter's Recruitment Thread!

[adpialumnaecrh]

Thank you so much for posting a thread that is so interesting to read! Having been through "Formal Recruitment" myself many many years ago at a much smaller school with only three sororities on campus, this brings back so many fond memories. However, I can only imagine how tired your daughter must be after every round!

I don't usually give advice, but please remind her that the sorority she chooses isn't for four years, it is for a LIFETIME! I wish her the best in her difficult decision and admire her open mindedness!

BEST WISHES FOR A SUCCESSFUL MATCH!

--First, Finest, & FOREVER!

ΑΔΠ

[Cindy0128]

Oh my gosh - my daughter (and I) were in the same boat last year. Yep - a big Texas University. She (and I) were filled with anxst!! I was with her for day 1 (5 parties) but had to go home for the rest of rush. I was tied to the phone!
So, here we are a year later and she's now a Sister, a rusher, and while she's very, very happy and "at home" - being a rusher is much harder than she thought and also very stressful. She and I have often talked about how great Rush was for her last year and here's her top suggestions of what worked for her. She was invited back to the max parties every night:
1) Be totally open minded. Yes, thanks to the local Panhel and my unabashedly contacting every sorority woman I knew for a rec - "B" had at least one rec at every sorority. At least in my neck of the Texas woods, the local PanHel will ensure it.
2) Practice, practice, practice - yes, my daughter, "B" ,practiced the handshake, the small talk. My neice, an active Pi Phi, at Ole Miss helped her. 'B" is quite shy and the practice really helped. Today my daughter told me that it's quite apparent the girls who are asked an open ended question and can somehow turn it into a yes or no. Not a good thing.
3) take notes - after you leave the house - jot down who you talked with and about what -- not only so you can remember but so that at the next party you can say "yesterday I really enjoyed chatting with emily. we talked about your intramural softball league..."
4) CLEAN UP THE FACEBOOK. This year --- girls at this Texas school are being cut left and right because their Face Book has suggestive words, pictures of the girls with alcohol, allusions to alcohol, sleezy outfits. Sororities don't like this!!! My girl's facebook picture and profile was clean, cute, and interesting.
B and I early on decided to treat this like a job interview and followed everything you've heard - smile, BE PREPARED with questions, small talk; eye contact, remember - everyone likes the sound of their own name, etc. and it worked.
My daughter had a tough, tough time deciding which sororities NOT to return to. Odd as it sounds - she cut one because the house was just too loud - music on top of conversation. months later she learned that this house was, supposedly, one of the "tops"
I think your girl is in good shape - they like girls with good grades and who dress appropriately. She'll do great and if she goes where I think - all of the houses are fantastic. Keep us all posted.
CB

[bluefish81]

TexasMom, I'm enjoying your updates. I hope that things continue to go well for TexasDaughter. Hopefully you'll be able to get some sleep soon...

[NutBrnHair]

Great post, Cindy1028. Sounds like your daughter was well-prepared! Glad it was a positive experience.

Don't take this the wrong way, but at some big, competitive Greek campuses you run into quite a few prospective new members who are so "well-prepared" that I refer to them as "professional rushees!"

[adpiucf]

Originally Posted by Cindy0128

CLEAN UP THE FACEBOOK. This year --- girls at this Texas school are being cut left and right because their Face Book has suggestive words, pictures of the girls with alcohol, allusions to alcohol, sleezy outfits. Sororities don't like this!!! My girl's facebook picture and profile was clean, cute, and interesting.

CB

Amen! We discussed this at the Houston AP Round Table this year for the rising freshmen-- I think the younger alums caught the older ones off-guard when we were talking about it with the PNMs because the older ladies didn't know what Facebook/MySpace/LJ, etc., even were, but we've worked it into our print materials for next year.

What sorority is your daughter a member of?

[texasmom]

Well, invites are back, and TexasDaughter got three... the good news is that they are all to houses she really liked yesterday. I'd be lying, though if I said she wasn't discouraged. It does seem like she's getting cut hard. She's scared and not even trusting her instincts at this point, because she was rushed really hard at several houses and not invited back today. It's excruciatingly difficult because she gets her invitations, then has to swallow her disappointment & put her negativity behind her and go immediately into that first party.

I don't know if I'll be able to post anymore this evening, because I know she wants to talk to me after her last party. As I said before, TexasDaughter thinks things through by talking them out and I have a feeling she'll be thinking and talking this p.m. I know it's' important I stay positive for her -- and I feel I need to be there for her tonight.

For those keeping score, she got invited back to Chris, Fantasia and Paula.

Thanks to all my new friends on GC! Y'all have been wonderful!

[AChiOhSnap]

Tell her not to be discouraged! It only takes one house to make a successful recruitment. She's still absolutely in the running with three invites. Good luck to her, and stay positive. I'm crossing my fingers for TexasDaughter.

[southernyankee]

I agree...be positive. I know this is really hard...but as you saw with my daughter...it can still work out!

[achio_kerryann]

can we find out what houses she's been cut from?

[aggieAXO]

It is true-it only takes one house. Several of my friends endured heavy cuts toward the end of recruitment (we were all juniors when we went through) but they all got there first choice-tell your daughter not to give up!

[Exquisite5]

GO GO GO GO Texas Daughter and keep your head up!

This is comforting me as I await my pesky bar exam results:


"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with THANKSGIVING, let your request be made known unto God; and the PEACE that passes all understanding will guard your hearts and mind through Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:6-7).

Texas Daughter, what God has for you, is for YOU!!! Forget the rest, you're headed towards the best!

Gig'Em!

[texasmom]

Just got off the phone with TexasDaughter -- it's a good thing we have unlimited minutes on T-Mobile, 'cause that was a long, much-needed conversation.

She visited three houses this evening and was really excited about them all. I know a request was made for me to name the actual houses that she's been cut from, but I'd rather not, because if I did, then everyone could figure out the remaining three. by process of elimination I'm not trying to be difficult about this, just careful. It's really important to me that I honor and respect TexasDaughter's privacy in this process.

Today was Craft Day at each of the three houses. i'll sum up her visits as follows:

Chris -- The PNMs crafted some items to be given to the recipients of this GLO's philanthropy. TexasDaughter said that while she and another PNM were making their craft, they were joined by two actives. She said all four of them had a good conversation. After they made the craft, then all the actives did a presentation. TexasDaughter was then rotated to other actives. She enjoyed this house a lot. She said while they were listening to the presentation, a lot of the PNMs seemed bored and the actives noticed this, she thought. She made sure she was attentive and complimented the sisters on all their hard work after the presentation was over. She says she can see herself as a sister of this house.

Paula -- TexasDaughter also adores this house. This house had a fairly slow start with her, but she has come to appreciate it more and more each day. The girls are "real," she says. She has met several sisters whom she has visited with each day. They did a craft, which again was made for their local philanthropy. TexasDaughter is very drawn to these girls -- she really does have a strong interest in this group!

Fantasia -- Another good visit. She didn't know a lot about their philanthropy and said she asked a lot of questions of the sisters, who were extremely eager to answer her. She liked the fact they were proud of their work. TexasDaughter liked this group also -- she said she met several girls she would call friends.

So, even though she may not have the numbers of invitations she would like, we think she's extremely fortunate to truly like all the groups that still have an interest in her. These are all good, solid GLOs. And in a funny way, TexasDaughter is relieved, because she can concentrate on these houses and make a thoughtful, intelligent decision.

Also, TexasDaughter said today the Rho Gammas said that a lot of girls have dropped out. She also heard that the big cuts were the first two days. I cautioned her not to listen to "tent talk" but she said this came from some of the Rho Gammas.

Tomorrow morning the remaining PNMs are to meet for another convocation -- this is supposed to address finances. I think. My question is, would they have PNMs attend this if they were planning to cut them later that day? The fourth round, "Sisterhood Day," or "Skit Night" begins tomorrow evenig at 6 and each PNM can attend up to four parties.

NOTE to Nolemom: I laughed hard at your story about being in the dentist's office when the phone rang. Yesterday, I was in my boss' office when the phone rang and I ran out of there so fast his jaw dropped!

NOTE to cindy0128: Great advice about FaceBook! TexasDaughter said she made sure hers was presentable right after she registered.

NOTE to exquisite5: Best wishes in your Bar Exam Results! Hopefully, TexasDaughter will be in that position in a few years.

Sorry for the length of this post. As southernyankee advised, I think i'll go take an Ambien!

[FSUZeta]

if quite a few girls have dropped out of rush, that is better for the girls who are remaining.

the convocation regarding finances was scheduled well in advance(i would imagine)-it does not have anything to do with the status of the pnms. they want to make sure that the remaining girls completely understand that if they join a sorority, they or their parents are able to meet the financial obligations.

it sounds like your daughter had wonderful conversations at all her parties and that she is really thinking about where she would be the happiest. continued good wishes to her.

[BadSquirrelBeta]

Originally Posted by texasmom

So, even though she may not have the numbers of invitations she would like, we think she's extremely fortunate to truly like all the groups that still have an interest in her. These are all good, solid GLOs. And in a funny way, TexasDaughter is relieved, because she can concentrate on these houses and make a thoughtful, intelligent decision.

Well it sounds like TXDAUGHTER and TXMOM have a "glass is half-full" outlook!! KUDOS to you for that. Encouage TXDAUGHTER to keep going. Doing rush from the Panhellenic side, I have seen PNMs without full party schedules have great rushes and end up at top chapters. Her conversation skills sound quite polished and it seems she is genuinely interested in each GLO she is rushing.

I am holding good thoughts for TXDAUGHTER and you too, TXMOM!!

[adpialumnaecrh]

Please tell your daughter to keep her chin up!

It is my understanding that Texas A&M's Panhellenic is using a new recruitment method this year and this may be contributing to her being "cut". It is unfortunate that this is happening to her and I'm sure she is disheartened. However, from your posts your daughter sounds like an amazing, brilliant, and resilient young woman. Having experience with the university system as a past lecturer, let me say that any sorority at Texas A&M University would be lucky to have her!

I continue to wish you and your daughter all the best and hope that she does not give up hope!

Remember that nothing happens by chance!

--Doc