UGA Recruitment - A friend's story

[LoveMyKeyKKG]

Originally Posted by BamaDad

My daughter never said a partcular house was bad. She thought they were all honestly very good, she just liked a few more than others by the slimmest of threads. I did hear the word "clicking" used, but just as a matter of degree. She purposely ignored what you ladies call tent talk about one particular sorority - she has included that house each day through Six Party Day today. So I guess I'm sorry to hear the negatives such as "awful" muttered by pnms. Perhaps the fact that my daughter had very little knowledge of individual sororities before rush gave her an open mind. I can't help but believe that all the sororities at Bama are wonderful. Just a thought by an insomniac approaching midnight.

None of my comments about pnms were directed to you either BamaDad! Your daughter sounds like she has the perfect mindset for rushing. I know I am not the only one who is wishing her the best in finding her "home!"

[preciousjeni]

Originally Posted by adpiucf

Part of it is parenting. The teacher is wrong, the tests are wrong, the coach is wrong, my kid likes candy so why not let him have it, etc... Kids grow up being told how great and wonderful and perfect they are: Is it any wonder that they come to recruitment and are crushed to be cut from the sororities after the first day? They've never been told before that they're anything but perfectly wonderful.

Not to add too much to the mini-hijack () but I was talking to a coworker whose child has a learning disability that they are seeking help for. She was telling me about a friend of hers who would not admit to her own child's LD, so the child suffered unnecessarily when he could have been in some sort of therapy/training to overcome the disability. FINALLY, the parent realized that the child was really struggling and was not the perfect (in her own mind) child she had built him up to be. So, now the child is getting the attention he needs and is finally not completely frustrated by school.

/hijack

[LaneSig]

Originally Posted by LoveMyKeyKKG

Think about it..if 60 of these girls who are so great that they can't lower themselves to join a smaller chapter, did go in together and join that smaller chapter it would turn around in a couple of years. And once word got around to the guys that ABC has a great new pledge class their social options would be wide open.

Maybe that is just wishful thinking but it hurts me to see girls who would get a lot out of and contribute a lot to the Greek experience missing out.

I had this exact same thought last night. I wish that a group that didn't make quota could invite all of these girls to a COR event; get all of these "beautiful, well-placed" girls to see that if they all got together, they could turn one groups rep around and make it a "top-tiered" group.

I know, wishful thinking. I can't help it. I'm a Libra - I like to see things balanced.

[NUBlue&Blue]

Originally Posted by LaneSig

I had this exact same thought last night. I wish that a group that didn't make quota could invite all of these girls to a COR event; get all of these "beautiful, well-placed" girls to see that if they all got together, they could turn one groups rep around and make it a "top-tiered" group.

Unfortunately, that is so hard to do in a big and/or old greek system. And even harder if you've grown up, using UGA as an example, in metro Atlanta where everybody knows the "pecking order"--whether you want to admit it exists or not, it does. You know everybody's mom knows what is a "good house" and what's not. Everybody knows what you pledged, tsk tsk. Probably not politically correct to say here, but as the mother of teenagers, I know that's what happens. Helicopter parents on steroids, it's just one more thing to make you feel that your kid is better than everybody else's.

In a smaller greek system, things can turn around very fast with a couple of good pledge classes, somewhat like what has occurred at our North Avenue Trade School. Twelve girls from our HS went through at UGA, two pledged. We are talking about legacies and lovely girls who would be an asset to any house, and these girls dropped out. I know these girls and can't think of one who thought she was "entitled" to be in the "best house"....a lot of them just felt that they couldn't see themselves in the options they had left.

Wouldn't it be great if they could gather up those girls who were awesome and let them get to know each other for half a year and see if they want to fill a house that needs members? Yes, but would it happen at UGA? I don't think so. Those prejudices die hard, whether they are fair or not.

BamaDad, your daughter does have somewhat of an advantage that she hasn't been brought up with the "pecking order" since the day she was born. And like I always told my girls...."you know what we call out of state girls in Nebraska, don't you? CELEBRITIES!" While you might look at it as a disadvantage, in some cases it's an advantage in a place where everybody is from Alabama...or Nebraska, or wherever.

Do I win for posting the most politically incorrect statement of the day? Sorry if I offend anybody, I'm not very good at sugarcoating (must be because I'm not really from the South, just a plain spoken Midwesterner!)

[carnation]

What she SAID!

[UGAalum94]

The girls I know who dropped aren't at the extreme that you've described; they've experienced some disappointments in high school; they know they aren't always the best at everything.

But I'm pretty sure that every chapter that invited them back didn't have BO. I know that some of the groups that likely invited them back consists of girls just like themselves, except that they were more realistic about rush.

Even the girls who stuck it out during rush, who I thought would almost have their pick of houses, got cut by groups I actually expected to pledge them.

When you went through rush did you expect to have to lift the group you pledged up? Didn't you expect that by joining the group, your social life and status would improve, instead of demanding your attention to turn the chapter around?

While I'm frustrated that the girls dropped out when they didn't get picked by the clearly identified groups of beautiful people (instead of looking for groups in which they could have some fun with other great girls), I'm not sure it's simply the PNMs' character flaws or the actual flaws of the girls at smaller houses that caused it.

I'm not sure that a truely panhellenic spirit exists at UGA. Being greek at a smaller house may not really improve your social life. And that, my friends, is what I think the girls who rush are looking to do. Sure the real joys of sisterhood may go beyond the number of socials with really great guys, but in the eyes of rushees, they've already got plenty of really nice friends.

I think it's an easier problem to address than reversing the parenting trends of the last generation. But it requires a spirit of selflessness on the part of larger and more popular groups, and most 18-22 years olds don't care that much about the strength of the system in general. I'm afraid a lot of people define their worth in relative terms, and part of what makes XYZ great may be that it's so much better that QRS.

[UGAalum94]

NU blue and blue, I think you are dead on right.
I didn't see your post before I posted mine because it took me forever to write mine.

I'm not sure what happens at UGA where so many great girls drop out is fixable, but I'm pretty sure it can't be fixed by the actions of only one chapter.

North Avenue Trade School, tee hee hee.

[LaneSig]

NUBlue&Blue- Good post.

Like I said, my thoughts were the thoughts of a Libra. We like to see things balanced out. I know the real world is a completely different animal.

And, for what it's worth, I went to a "small school". Arkansas State was just hitting 8,000-9,000 when I entered. Unfortunately, AB and GDE were both struggling with bad reps. Even with 6 sororities, girls would drop out if these were their options. Both chapters had great girls and stellar national reps. So, it happens at smaller schools, too.


Now, back to our regularly scheduled post: UGA's great recruitment this year. Congratulations to all of the new Panhellenic members!

[Jill1228]

Congrats to her and Gamma Phi Beta

Originally Posted by KDLady06

I just heard from my friend. And she is so happy to be a part of

The house once known as Grace Kelly!






























Or in other words, my friend is the newest sister of Gamma Phi Beta!!!


I'm so happy and proud of her. All you Gammaphis on GC you are so lucky to have her as a part of your sisterhood. I know she will make y'all proud!

- KD lady


PS haven't heard from those two girls from my HS yet. Fingers crossed it all worked out for them.

[navane]

Originally Posted by KDLady06
I just heard from my friend. And she is so happy to be a part of

The house once known as Grace Kelly!

Or in other words, my friend is the newest sister of Gamma Phi Beta!!!

I'm so happy and proud of her. All you Gammaphis on GC you are so lucky to have her as a part of your sisterhood. I know she will make y'all proud!

- KD lady

Hooray for a new Gamma Phi Beta!

Please pass along our congratulations!

.....Kelly

[GPhiBLtColonel]

Originally Posted by IHeartUGA

This list is what I have gathered from my UGA friends and reading the posts on other threads so...I know some of these might be slightly off. If some are wrong, oops. Just POLITELY correct me, please These numbers are before snap bids. So, the houses that did not make quota probably had some to add to these...

QUOTA: 55

Alpha Gamma Delta: 65
Alpha Omicron Pi:59
Gamma Phi Beta: 48 + 8 snap bids = 56
Delta Delta Delta: 51
Sigma Delta Tau: did not make quota (I was told they got between 30-40)
Delta Gamma: 24
Delta Phi Epsilon: 2
Sigma Kappa: 59
Delta Zeta: 61
Zeta Tau Alpha: made quota
Alpha Chi Omega: made quota
Alpha Delta Pi: made quota
Phi Mu: made quota
Kappa Kappa Gamma: made quota
Kappa Alpha Theta: made quota
Pi Beta Phi: made quota
Chi Omega: made quota
Kappa Delta: made quota

If I get updates...I'll try my best to post so the final numbers are up.

(Spoken in my most polite voice)
Gamma Phi Beta only snapped five to reach quota....got this right from our MVP.

[Hally]

don't think anyone was picking on your daughter as an example, BamaDad. But I will say we've all run across PNMs and sisters who live their lives in a cloud. They have a false sense of entitlement and an over-inflated sense of self. I think it is important to have healthy self-esteem, but at what point do you see what's really in the mirror staring back at you?

We live in a society that no longer rewards the top performers-- some schools have done away with valedictorians, instead choosing to honor the top 10% (please don't launch into a tirade about how your kid was 10th's of a point away from the next one...). Or giving every athlete a blue ribbon in lieu of honoring the real star of the season. Everyone's a winner! As Ricky Bobby would say, "If you're not first, you're last!"

Part of it is parenting. The teacher is wrong, the tests are wrong, the coach is wrong, my kid likes candy so why not let him have it, etc... Kids grow up being told how great and wonderful and perfect they are: Is it any wonder that they come to recruitment and are crushed to be cut from the sororities after the first day? They've never been told before that they're anything but perfectly wonderful. And no, being cut doesn't make anyone less wonderful or beautiful, but as we've discussed ad nauseum in the AI Forum: if you don't bring anything to the sorority, your bubbly personality alone won't get you far without the grades and activities to carry you forward.

Long story short: recruitment can be the first time a young woman experiences any kind of rejection-- they've gotten the blue ribbon in the horse show (so did everyone else), they received a gold star on their English test (so did everyone else) and so on. They come into recruitment expecting gold stars and blue ribbons. Then again, many more people go through 4 years of college and expect to start in the workforce as a vice president in the corner office. Same situation: false sense of entitlement as a result of being raised to think you're the Second Coming.

/This doesn't apply to everyone. But I think we've seen it enough in real life to acknowledge that by "yes"-ing our kids to death, that we're not doing them any favors.
__________________
"Speak out in class. There is nothing at stake except your self-esteem."


Amen! This was my frequent lament as the children were growing up. They were very involved in many sports--good in some not so in others, but I always hated it when we had to put money in the pot just so they could have a trophy! As parents we always felt it should be the love of it and the journey of getting there that should be the important part. Losing and disappointment are not always a bad thing even though it can be heartbreaking at the time.

[LOVEinZTA]

Wow, I didn't think anyone would have to guts to say it all! THANK YOU

[FSUZeta]

in reply to the posters with the great idea to get all these wonderful dropout pnms to a sorority party: if anyone from one of those sororities is reading this, you COULD give it a try. why cob/cor one or two girls, when you could reach quota and/or total in one fail swoop? pitch it to the pnms that these could be their pledge sisters, sitting in the room beside them. it couldn't hurt!!

[Stef the Pef]

Originally Posted by KDLady06

I talked to the girl from my high school and she went AChiO! I'm so happy for her. It's a great organization at UGA. And...her friend went Kappa Delta! Yay I have a new sister. Anyone else with updates feel free to post. I just love hearning where everyone found their home.

- KD lady

Congrats, KDLady06! I'm glad we got a couple new sisters on this thread, plus congrats to the girls in Gamma Phi, Kappa, DG, ADPi, Zeta, Tri Delt, Pi Phi, and Alpha Chi! Thanks for posting the story! I loved the actress names!