Arggg get out of here...

[Hootie]

My dad always told me to tell them "I'm Catholic" (even if I'm not - I'm Lutheran).

[33girl]

My mom used to get out the Bible, look up the quotes they quoted, and say "Well you forgot this part before it that changes the meaning of what you are saying entirely." It made them go.

However, I have to say I like the answer the door naked idea. Especially if you are wearing a fur hat, a facial mask, or something equally bizarre.

[Thrillhouse]

A bit on topic here. Lil G, you ever get those damn raccoons?

[G8Ralphaxi]

We have some family friends (we'll call them the "E's") that for some reason, have A LOT of very religious people in their neighborhood ALL the time. Jehovah's Witnesses, Mormons, Baptists, all kinds of people. Mr. E says he feels pretty darn special that so many people want him to save his soul. He actually doesn't mind talking to them. Figures if he talks to some of these people, it's like going to church except he doesn't have to get dressed up. Funny story though...

They have a young daughter. Mr. E was home watching her while Mrs. E was running errands. Mr. E was watching TV and his daughter was playing with her dolls and combing their hair, braiding it, etc. Then she said, "Daddy let me do your hair? Please? please?" Being the nice daddy that he is, he said ok. So she put a whole lot of little barrettes in his hair - you know the plastic ones that come in a lot of colors? So his hair is sticking up all over his head in little tufts with all these little barrettes. She tells him he is BEAUTIFUL. Sweet Kodak moment, etc.

Well, a little while later, she goes off to her room to play more. Mr. E just sits there and continues to watch TV.

The doorbell rings. Jehovah Witnesses, of course. For some reason, they have really weird expressions on their faces. He invites them in. Now remember - the little girl is in her room and not really making any noise. They only see Mr. E., a grown man, all by himself, with this interesting hairstyle. They chat for a bit but after only a minute or two they make excuses and leave.

Mr. E is puzzled, then walks to the back of the house to check on his daughter.

...passes a hallway mirror...

...and suddenly achieves enlightenment

[G8Ralphaxi]

I had a friend in high school whose parents dragged him to one of those very fundamental Baptist churches 3 - 4 times a week. Needless to say, in high school he rebelled and started wearing all black, listening to Marilyn Manson and NIN, etc. To this day I don't think he actually liked the music so much as he liked that it bothered his parents.

He LOVED jehovah's Witnesses. They would come to the door and quote Bible verses. He would correct them - he always knew it way better than they did.

But the funniest has to be something he said when a bunch of us were over at his house...

JW guy: "Do you know that the end of the world is coming?"

My friend: "You mean the Apocalpyse?"

JW guy: "Yes! Are you prepared for it?"

Friend: "Prepared? Hell, I plan to be instrumental in CAUSING it. I've spent the last few years gathering the people and materials I'll need. See you then I guess." ...then he just STARED at the JW guy...

Now mind you, my friend said all this VERY calmly, like he was just telling someone that the weather report.

The poor JW guy just turned white and backed away from the door. My friend did not move and continued to stare until the guy actually started running. We all felt kinda bad, but oh, what a laugh.

For some reason, the JW's skipped their house after that.

[KappaStargirl]

I LOVE dzrose's response. However, I usually just look at my watch and say "Oh my gosh, look at the time, I'm late for my coven meeting!"

Also, speaking French sometimes works.

Sometimes I get offended and say things like "How dare you insult me like that, tell me that the religion I have followed all my life is somehow WRONG and" blah blah blah I start screaming and carrying on. In truuth I AM very insulted by those who try to push their religious beliefs on others, so it's not that far a stretch.

Or I act like I don't understand a word they're saying. I smile stupidly, nod, and say, Yes, No, thank you, fish sticks, etc.

[Lil_G]

Originally posted by Ex greek
A bit on topic here. Lil G, you ever get those damn raccoons?

...broad daylight, they must be rabid, maybe unleash those bastards on J's crew.

[Thrillhouse]

Wow it is rare to see them at daytime. They must be plotting against you and your roomates

[IowaHawkeye]

damn lil g you have to seek and destroy those beasts

[moe.ron]

Why don't you use the racoon to combat the JW? Or walk to the door naked and professed yourself as Jehovah and say that you were wrong. That Don King is the true path to salvation.

[Lil_G]

yeah i'm missing something here, there must be a solution to both problems. They're both scavengers, persistent as hell and deal exclusively in garbage...role reversal maybe? Shoot paintballs at the JW and replace the garbage bags with jehova's fliers.

btw, what's with you yanks and answering the door naked? I could see that causing a lot more problems when someone like my landlord comes knocking for something.