Four hours at Abercrombie. It was just me and the manager, who didn't bother to train me (even though I had never worked retail before), and about half an hour into my shift he decided to disappear to his office in the back. FOR THE ENTIRE TIME I WAS THERE.
Oh, and did I mention it was during a big sale, too?
A couple days. I had signed up to become a balloon twister (yes, the ones in bars and restaurants) but it sounded like a bum deal. I got the job, ordered the stuff and then quit. (I returned the balloons.)