Help me - Page 2

jadis96 · #16 08-01-2006, 02:04 AM

Depends on how polite you want to be. Yes, these kind of questions are rude, but at the same time why alienate family? With my mom I used "When I meet a guy who isn't an a total a^&hole" that normally gets her started on going off on guys and off my back. With other family I normally say "Oh I am dating casually now because I am concentraiting on my career right now." Then I start talking to them about school, normally that either gets them off topic of my love life or bores them enough they walk off. Either way I am happier.

Scandia · #17 08-01-2006, 02:44 PM

Ah, nagging relatives. I have those as well.

Just tell them that you have a very full life, and if you meet the right person to share it with, that's fantastic- but that if not, you are just as content. And if they don't get the hint, tell them bluntly "better alone than in bad company"- even if all the people you have dated in the past were good persons who simply weren't a good match for you.

And the "having babies" question is not only nosy and intrusive, but possibly offensive and hurtful. What if the couple does not want kids, or if they find out that one or both cannot have them, or even if they could it is rather risky to their health? If the askers want children that badly, they can go to the DCF orphanage and get a foster kid.

tunatartare · #18 08-01-2006, 02:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scandia

If the askers want children that badly, they can go to the DCF orphanage and get a foster kid.

Every time my mother brings up how badly she wants grandchildren, I tell her to adopt. Then she gets mad at me because apparently I'm being rude.

Drolefille · #19 08-01-2006, 02:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KLPDaisy

Every time my mother brings up how badly she wants grandchildren, I tell her to adopt. Then she gets mad at me because apparently I'm being rude.

Well clearly you're a disobedient child who won't go make babies with a good Russian Jew.

AlphaFrog · #20 08-01-2006, 02:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KLPDaisy

Every time my mother brings up how badly she wants grandchildren, I tell her to adopt. Then she gets mad at me because apparently I'm being rude.

Just tell her your girlfriend doesn't want kids.

Drolefille · #21 08-01-2006, 02:54 PM

I have the grandmother who not only wants me to date someone else (not that she knows my current boyfriend at all) but settle down, marry, have children and become a teacher.

Thanks grandma but you're going to have to stop making comments about how my nose isn't as cute as yours first. You BOUGHT yours.

kddani · #22 08-01-2006, 02:54 PM

I just found out that one of my friends is going through a messy divorce after being married only 16 months (husband had been having an affair since 8 months BEFORE they got married!). I feel terrible for her. But then next time my mom bugs me about settling down, I can just bring this up.

Seriously, if they really hassle you, start droning on and on about wanting the ideal marriage, there's no reason to jump into something, look at how many people get divorced, blah blah blah blah blah. Talk their ear off about it. Don't let them escape the punishment for asking you personal qeustions!!!

JenMarie · #23 08-01-2006, 03:22 PM

I can offer no advice different than what's been stated, except I can offer sympathy. The shine in my engagement ring has barely faded and yet I'm already getting the "when are you making babies???" questions.

Mmmkay... we've been engaged for a month...

Though there was this cool joke forward going around my emails for a while. I'll see if I can remember it.

"There was a single woman who went to her cousin's wedding. All of her aunts pointed at her and poked at her saying 'You're next!' About a month later, there was a funeral for one of the aunts. The single woman walked up to her remaining aunts and said 'You're next!'"

Probably not a good idea to do that... but it's funny though.

FirstAndFinest · #24 08-16-2006, 10:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KLPDaisy

Every time my mother brings up how badly she wants grandchildren, I tell her to adopt. Then she gets mad at me because apparently I'm being rude.

This no longer phases my mother, but it is a stunner the first time!

GeekyPenguin · #25 08-18-2006, 02:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

Sheesh...usually, when people ask me, I always mention how I want to be financially secure before I get married; that usually makes most people shut up. I guess I have an excuse in that I'm just starting out and that I live in a really expensive city. They can't really argue with it.

I have a great-aunt who always asks me when me and the Mr. are planning to get married, and that answer doesn't faze her, as her 20-year old grandson has like, three different babies by four different women or something like that.

Oh but Muchkin, GOD WILL PROVIDE.

KSigkid · #26 08-18-2006, 02:47 PM

My wife and I get the baby question all the time, especially from one side of my family. I was the first to go to and graduate college on that side, and it seems illogical to some why my wife and I would want careers and advanced degrees. (Part of this is because I have family members for whom having children is a nice hobby) It's gotten bad to the point where I have given some rather pointed responses to end the questions from certain people.

My advice - a direct, polite answer, and change the subject. If they harp on it, walk away from the conversation.