You Know You were Born/Raised "Black" When...

[ShamikaT]

I gots a short attanetion span, I didn't read it all, so I hope I don't repeat any...

-mama spits on her hand and smooth your hair down when it gets messy

-you gets a whoopin with house shoes, phone cords, switches, and wooden rulers

-yo family gets put out of hospitals, whenever gramps get sick, because we get too loud and bother the white folks

-yo family too poor to buy new chewing gum. whenever you get tired of chewin', you just stick the gum on your bed post and even behind your ear. when you wanna chew some more, just pop it back in your mouth

-whenever you clown at school and the teacher calls your mama. she comes to school and whoop your azz right in front of your peeps

-choir rehearsal ends early because some fools break into the churych tryin' to run from the policeii

-you wear all white on first sundays

-you wear pastels on fifth sundays

-the choir director demands that the girls always wear ponytails. cuz if they wear their hair hanging down, jeri curl with stain the robes.

-you record songs from the radio by holding a tape recorder up to the speaker

-when you replay the music you recorded, you hear pops yellin' and your brother being spanked by mama, in the background.

-whenever you go to play in the sprinklers or fire hydrants, you wear a plastic grocery bag on your head as a shower cap

-when you travel, you try to pack as many people into the car as you can. three big people sit in the front, and three big people sit in the back. five little people sit in the big peoples lap who ain't drivin. 11 people total, voila!

-whenever you be bad or tell a lie, yo grandma says "the devil gonna get ya!"

-if you get in a fight and lost, you got another azz whoopin when you get home, for not taking up for yourself

-you only knew "laffy taffy" as a chewy candy

-whenever there was a storm, mama made us turn off all the electronics and then bounce downstairs

-you stuffed your bra AND your booty