Talking to Kids about Death

[christiangirl]

I was in college by the time I lost my grandparents. I was a special case though. I'd always been taught that when someone died it was a celebration because they were going to heaven.....so at funerals, I was always fine, I couldn't understand why everyone was sad! But comforting my younger cousins is another story. I try to reassure them by not being sad myself. Kids usually present their emotions in ways they think they're supposed to. So when they look around and everyone is crying, they'll cry too. So I try to just stay upbeat (but not fake). I let them know that it's okay to be sad, but that it's not the last time we're going to see our grandmother and that we aren't going to pretend that she's just disappeared. My cousins all seemed to be afraid to bring it up for fear everyone would start crying again. Once they saw that memories made me happy, they felt comfortable talking about her and that helped the healing go more smoothly.