Confessions...

[Bajan_Delta]

This type of situation saddens me. The only thing that we can do is to ensure that we do not pass this type of emotional abuse down to future generations, love your children, hug your cousins, nieces, nephews let them know that they are special and loved. I am sad to hear that your mother has passed on, I can only imagine how you felt having to deal with all those details, while having to deal with such unnecessary negativity. I have found my grandmother loves abusive people. I'm not quite sure why, but the worse you treat her the better she will treat you. You can't tell her anything for her benefit or she will curse you out. She also suffers from slave mentality (seems like you grandma does too). She would tell me when i was little, "you're so pretty EVEN THOUGH you're dark". I'm surprised I'm not more screwed up.

Originally posted by evaclear04
Bajan_Delta,
Trust that are a lot of people in your situation. I also have a very strained relationship w/ my G-ma. My G-ma is pushing 90 and just doesn't know when to not speak. She has been that way all her life. She is still 'colorstruck' and told me that when I married my husband that she was happy that I had dumped the 'ape' I was dating before( My previous suitor was very dark complected).
During the time when my mom was sick she would say stupid stuff like... my mom was faking and there was nothing really wrong w/ her or that the doctors were lying. When my mother passed...she was more concerned w/ the music they were playing at her wake than the fact that her FIRST DAUGHTER just died. And then being that I was the only one struggling to handle her affairs....when I had to call her to get her info for the SSN Admin. She told me that I was trying to steal her money and identity. After that I have been through w/ her ever since. I know that it looks bad.... but I can't bring myself to even call her.
Just like I would tell my Mom when her own mother would hurt her feeling w/ that crap....Let negative people suffer on their own. Surround yourself w/ positive things and you'll have positive results.

[jitterbug13]

Confession #1: As many of ya'll may know, I don't like my job. AT ALL. But now I feel physcially sick every time I go there or even think about it. I have waisted over a year of my life trying to make this work and I can't see myself waiting for the next 3-5 years. And I don't get paid much (between $60-350 a week depending on how busy it is and lately, I've been working once a week). My dad talked me into leaving the job I was at (which I was getting ready to leave anyway) to do this one and now I realized it was for political reasons. I'm in the third generation in doing this job but the first female and first to do this particular job. Everyone says they're proud of me but I'm not proud of myself. I'm even ashamed to tell people what I do. Which leads up to...

Confession #2: I don't know what to do with the rest of my life. In college, I thought I was postive I was going to be a newspaper reporter. But back then, I had doubts, but small ones. Then I started working as a reporter and it eventually became the first job from Hell. The editors were very nasty and it was so bad that I cried just about ever night and became physically and emotionally tired. Becasue of this, I don't know if I want to go back into it. I started taking Master's classes in public relations but there are days I have doubts about that. I have thought of being a libarian, travel agent, event planner or owning my own para shop. I know I need to sit down to figure out what I need to do.

Confession #3: I like my Kappafriend, but my interest has been waining the last few weeks. We met in college several years ago and we had fun. He started going with a girl who used to live down the hall from me and I think she broke his heart (he rarely talks about it). We got together twice in the last few months but he's getting ready to move to Atlanta this weekend. It's hard getting in touch with him. I'll call and he's doesn't call back. He says he's busy but sometimes I have to wonder about that. I know there are other females intersted in him but he said that I was the only one he was interested in. A part of me tells me to move on but another wants me to see what will happen next. With him I feel like a doll on a shelf: he picks me up when he needs me. But there maybe one day he'll look for me and I'll be gone.

Sorry this is so long!

[Dionysus]

I do pretty well when it comes to books, but I have no common sense.

[teena]

Another confession. I am a real wimp when it comes to talking to a guy that I am really interested in. I can talk to all kinds of people about all types of things, but when it comes to talking to 'him' I cant find one word to say.

[KAPPAtivating]

Bajan, please let me share with you some words of advice. While I was the person who felt the need to "go the f**k off", I eventually learned that sometimes you do all you can to make things right with that person. If they choose not to, then you continue to live your life right. That's what I had to do with my father.

My mission was to make sure that I lived everday to the best of my ability and to sleep peacfully at night. I tried to work things out, but he was not interested. I am proud to say that after three years of not speaking to me, GOD spoke to him and put it on his heart to apologize to me (this just happend two days ago).

Just know that if you do your part and continue to live right, God will make ALL of your enemies behave!

Originally posted by Bajan_Delta
This type of situation saddens me. The only thing that we can do is to ensure that we do not pass this type of emotional abuse down to future generations, love your children, hug your cousins, nieces, nephews let them know that they are special and loved. I am sad to hear that your mother has passed on, I can only imagine how you felt having to deal with all those details, while having to deal with such unnecessary negativity. I have found my grandmother loves abusive people. I'm not quite sure why, but the worse you treat her the better she will treat you. You can't tell her anything for her benefit or she will curse you out. She also suffers from slave mentality (seems like you grandma does too). She would tell me when i was little, "you're so pretty EVEN THOUGH you're dark". I'm surprised I'm not more screwed up.

[AKA_Monet]

Originally posted by Dionysus
I do pretty well when it comes to books, but I have no common sense.

I ain't got no kinna common sense... So my family says... And they always judge the me by the way I look or present myself in public.

The irony is I don't care anymore. It use to bother me when I was younger, and sometimes when I'm around them and they criticize on looks or the way I do things, it gets to me--every now and then--but, hayle, I am already too crazy to have to deal with the way other think I need to "portray myself", than deal with my own idiosyncrasies...

[AKA_Monet]

Originally posted by jitterbug13
Confession #1: As many of ya'll may know, I don't like my job. AT ALL. But now I feel physcially sick every time I go there or even think about it. I have waisted over a year of my life trying to make this work and I can't see myself waiting for the next 3-5 years. And I don't get paid much (between $60-350 a week depending on how busy it is and lately, I've been working once a week). My dad talked me into leaving the job I was at (which I was getting ready to leave anyway) to do this one and now I realized it was for political reasons. I'm in the third generation in doing this job but the first female and first to do this particular job. Everyone says they're proud of me but I'm not proud of myself. I'm even ashamed to tell people what I do. Which leads up to...

You need to leave your job fast. No reason to cut 100 years off your life and die of a heart attack because it is driving you insane... No job is worth that pain... I KNOW, because oneday I was working very hard at my job in Dallas and found myself waking up off the floor...

Bottomline, your health comes first and foremost. Ain't nobody gonna take better care of you than yo-sef... EFF what others say..

Originally posted by jitterbug13
Confession #2: I don't know what to do with the rest of my life...I started taking Master's classes in public relations but there are days I have doubts about that. I have thought of being a libarian, travel agent, event planner or owning my own para shop. I know I need to sit down to figure out what I need to do.

I like the fact that you are taking some classes here and there--and it says you are doing something... I know you'll figure it out and it will probably be soon...

[jitterbug13]

^^^^
Thanks! And I should know that from Job from Hell #1. As I stated before I was working at a newspaper and my bosses were so nasty, I thought about things I shouldn't have and was very depressed. But I felt that leaving the first job has eventually lead me to Job from Hell #2. When I left the first job, I didn't have another one. The only reason I'm still at it is for the money and I'm mostly paying for school by myself. But come to think about it, I will be getting my master's certificate in May and if I don't continue, I don't have to worry about paying $800 for a class and that's my biggest bill. The rest are credit cards and cell phone. I think I may have an idea.

[MeezDiscreet]

i sometimes throw my students papers away because i don't feel like grading them or entering them in the gradebook...

[tld221]

Originally posted by MeezDiscreet
i sometimes throw my students papers away because i don't feel like grading them or entering them in the gradebook...

i KNEW it!

[tld221]

Originally posted by tld221
my most recent confession:

i, too am secretly in love (wow, thats heavy, ok, really like) with this guy i work with (known him for about 2 years). he makes me laugh, which i love. as the saying goes, "make a girl laugh and you can make her do anything." i guess this is true, cause i've fallen head over heels for him (don't worry, i havent become totally spineless for him--i'm still me). i think he may be into me, there's been a lot of flirtation and innuendo lately. then again, you never know with men...

i'm really apprehensive about making a move. i've never had a man reciprocate romantic feelings towards me and i don't know how to handle it. and most of this stems from the lack of self-esteem i formerly suffered from (it's gotten a lot better!), but in the realm of relationships, i still feel like i don't deserve him or any great guy.

so i recently asked the guy out, he said yes. however, from then to now, its been really awkward between us. ive been droppin serious hints... the most recent advice ive gotten is to confront him about it.

:not really a confession, but an update:

[DC_Zeta1920]

My confessions...

I have a wedding to plan for next year and I am in graduate school for my MBA and will graduate a month after the wedding. I am half done with my Master's degree, but sometimes I just feel like throwing in the towel, but what keeps me going is that I have gotten this far and I've dealt with and got through much harder times in undergrad. Furthermore, I will be the first in my family with a Master's degree.

I don't want to live here in DC anymore. I need to move away from this area, FAR, FAR AWAY. While I love my city, I need to get out. I hate the traffic and the oversaturation, the notion that we're a bulls eye target for another terrorist attack, etc. etc. So my fiance and I will probably relocate maybe 6 mo.-1.5 years after marriage. My family will be upset that I am leaving but I just need to get away. We're considering Charlotte, NC.

[AKA_Monet]

Originally posted by DC_Zeta1920
I have a wedding to plan for next year and I am in graduate school for my MBA and will graduate a month after the wedding. I am half done with my Master's degree, but sometimes I just feel like throwing in the towel, but what keeps me going is that I have gotten this far and I've dealt with and got through much harder times in undergrad. Furthermore, I will be the first in my family with a Master's degree.

Do you have to plan a huge wedding? Is it for the family? Just asking...

I would get the degree only because you worked hard for it for so long and sometimes professors can be stupid about getting married while getting a graduate degree. If you already get yours, then they cannot say that... Then you can invite them "happily" to the wedding...

[AOII_LB93]

Originally posted by MeezDiscreet
i sometimes throw my students papers away because i don't feel like grading them or entering them in the gradebook...

I've done that when the quizzes are just too bad to bother. Now that I know someone else does it, I don't feel so bad.

[jitterbug13]

My Omegafriend doesn't know that his mother is dating my granduncle. NOT A CLUE. And I don't think he's too fond of my uncle.

I didn't know until September, when my grandfather died. I know many of his family members and one of his cousins works at my mother's school. At the wake I saw his aunt (cousin who works at school's mother). I was thinking "I didn't know she knows my grandfather".

Fast forward a few days later. My mother goes up to me and said "Did you know that Omegafriend's mother goes with your uncle?" That was why his aunt was at the wake.

Well, I was out with him and another of his cousins and his name came up. He tried to brush it off and said he really didn't care for him. I almost said something but I was told not to say anything about it. And I don't plan to. I'll let him find out for himself.

*singing* It's a small world after all...