To be a Deb or not to be a Deb?

[James]

Actually the whole deb thing sounds pretty cool. A rite of passage.

Its always nice to have an excuse to dress up.

So basically people within a certain social group are likely to be picked? Like daughters of junior leaguers? So its less about money than who you know right? That sounds cool.

What happens during deb season? Are there like rounds of parties?

Do men factor into it at all?

What age are Debutantes normally? Is it just a high school thing? Does it help at all with Rush?

[macallan25]

Debs are alot of fun, I have been in a few. I think that they are alot more prestigious in the South though.

[PiKA2001]

Originally posted by macallan25
Debs are alot of fun, I have been in a few. I think that they are alot more prestigious in the South though.

So your a debutante?

More prestigious in the South? I thought that they only happened in the South?

[carnation]

I haven't let my daughters be debutantes. Here, the Symphony Guild invites certain fifth grade girls to be ribbon bearers for the debutantes and those girls are usually the Symphony Guild Debutantes after their freshman year in college. The thing is, you have to donate at least a thousand dollars to the Guild and then there's the cost of dresses, parties, etc.

When they sent a letter to ASLFRose in 5th grade, I said, "We are not doing this even once, much less nine times...we'll have too many college bills someday to drop over $9000 on the Symphony." We've been satisfied with the decision too, because so many of the debs, although they might be considered "high society", are simply druggies and drunks..we didn't see the point in hanging out with that crowd.

Anyway, my husband would have shot himself before doing the "daddy dance" in front of all those people, lol.

[Rudey]

Originally posted by PiKA2001
So your a debutante?

More prestigious in the South? I thought that they only happened in the South?

No NY has them and I saw an episode of the OC where they had it. I haven't met any Cali debutantes though so Bobby might know better.

-Rudey

[macallan25]

No, I have been an escort in a few debutantes. And no, they are not exclusive to the South...but they did originate here. Debutantes, cotillions, and symphony leagues occur all over.

Originally posted by PiKA2001
So your a debutante?

More prestigious in the South? I thought that they only happened in the South?

[KSUViolet06]

Originally posted by James
Actually the whole deb thing sounds pretty cool. A rite of passage.

Its always nice to have an excuse to dress up.

So basically people within a certain social group are likely to be picked? Like daughters of junior leaguers? So its less about money than who you know right? That sounds cool.

What happens during deb season? Are there like rounds of parties?

Do men factor into it at all?

What age are Debutantes normally? Is it just a high school thing? Does it help at all with Rush?

Yeah it has alot to do with who you know within the group that is sponsoring the ball. For example, my mother's sorority sponsored the one I was in.

This is how my process went:

The process starts with interest meetings where applications are handed out. These are invite only. The apps ask you for things like your school/community activities, GPA, etc. After submitting your application, the debutante committee selects 30 or so of the over 200 apps to continue on to the next step.

Those selected have a week of invite only mixer type things, where the debutante committee evaluates you and your interaction with the other girls, your style of dress, poise, etc. After mixers, there are interviews where they ask you alot of questions about school, your future plans, etc.

From those 30, the final selection is made. There were 10 of us who made the final cut.

After the selection process is over, there is a month of activities for the debs to get to know each other. We had mother/daughter teas, waltz lessons, poise workshops, etc. These activities are MANDATORY. Missing ANY of these was cause for removal from the ball.

Debutante balls also cost money. You are responsible for buying your gown (which is reminscent of a wedding dress), shoes, tiara, and gloves. There were also matching outfits that the director asked us to buy for some of the events (like matching black cocktail dresses for the evening boat cruise). Any events that required tickets/money (i.e. the evening cruise, mother/daughter luncheons at nice restaurants, casino nights at Twin Lakes Country Club) to participate were also your responsibility. If you couldn't pay, tough luck because you weren't going to be deb.

Men are a bit of a factor. You do have to choose an escort, who is required to attend alot of the events with you AND escort you during the actual ball.

The ball I was in was for HS juniors and seniors. It depends on the organization that is sponsoring it. Some organizations' deb balls are college students only.

[AOII_LB93]

They do have them out here on the west coast, although I don't know that they are that big of a deal. There was one going on at the Ritz Carlton Laguna Niguel when I was there for a wedding a while back...all kinds of young women dressed up in pretty dresses. It seems fun, but pricey.

[tld221]

Originally posted by wrigley
KR that is a great movie. Hey James which movies did you see that inspired you to make the thread?

We know that James recently watched "Something New," which has a debutante scene...

-tld221
--putting james on blast

_____________________

(ripping off rudey's signing off style)

JocelynC, what kind of perks do you get after becoming a debutante, aside from going to swanky dinner parties and such? and is this the kind of thing you put on a resume?

and could, in some way controlled only by the gods, can someone who wasnt rich be debutanted? sort of like an affirmative-action thing? (that's the only way i can describe it)

or is it one of those things that have remained purely for the rich?

[KSUViolet06]

Originally posted by tld221


JocelynC, what kind of perks do you get after becoming a debutante, aside from going to swanky dinner parties and such? and is this the kind of thing you put on a resume?

I made some good friends. This particular ball is one of only 2 held in the city I live in, so there are alot of girls who want those spots. Being a HS kid I thought it was pretty neat to be a part of something that I knew many girls applied for. It's not something I put on my resume just because it's from HS.



and could, in some way controlled only by the gods, can someone who wasnt rich be debutanted? sort of like an affirmative-action thing? (that's the only way i can describe it)

or is it one of those things that have remained purely for the rich?


It's one of those things that people thought alot about before applying. MOST of the cost is explained at the info night so you knew if you could honestly afford it or not. It was just one of those things where (and this is going to sound bad) you didn't apply if you couldn't afford it.

[XOMichelle]

I know a few people who did the deb thing-- all lived in Wisconsin or California. In Wisconsin, there was a community service club that held a ball for high school seniors who did so many hours of event/ fundraising community service. Seemed pretty innoccuous to me: I think some girls didn't like it because of all the work they had to do!

[honeychile]

I think that, 100 years ago, or even 75 years ago, Debutante Balls served a purpose - "introducing your daughter to society" and marrying them off. Women didn't get out as much then, and to have your daughter meet men who weren't gold diggers was definitely a good idea. These women grew up learning the ways of their own society, the social aspects, the manners, the mores, and such - which isn't necessarily a bad thing - and usually were engaged by the end of the year.

But now, nobody seems to care about manners all that much (this message board is often a good example of that!), and marrying within your own social class has gone by the wayside. The women who would normally be Debs go off to college, and don't really have the time for a "Deb Year" (the traditional year a woman would expect to spend as a Deb).

Unless you're very much into whatever society is sponsoring a Deb Ball, I think it's mostly a waste of time and money.

[macallan25]

That depends on what area of the country you are in. In the South, it stilll is a big deal, that is heavily influenced by the society in which you live and the prominence of your family. Sure, it is no longer a deal concerning marriage and things of that nature....but rather a time when high society can mingle together for a couple weekends and get trashed at flashy balls, parties, and presentations. It was alot of fun for us guys...mainly because all we had to do was slap on a tux, wear a few suits, and get trashed all day long....but I think it would be horrible to be a girl in it. They pretty much spend all of their time at luncheons and getting their hair and makeup done and wearing outlandish dresses.

[tinydancer]

In Texas, the debs mostly come from old money, socially prominent families. It is still a big deal in many cities.
My cousin was a deb when she was at TCU. I didn't want to do it, so I never put a lot of interest into it.

[Tom Earp]

James, Do You want to Be a DEB?

Do You have a fixation or What?