This issue with my grandmother is not just a problem for me but for all of my cousins. The problem with cutting off my aunts also means cutting off my cousins who I feel close too. Unfortunately I have not found that absolute resolution. Not responding to them only opens the door to more foolish statements from them cause they see it as a sign of weakness. I used to go off quickly when I was younger, I found that to be ineffective. What I do now when confronted by one of their nasty comments i simply remind them that they aren't gold either. For example my mother's twin brother made some stupid remark to me some years back, and rather than get cuss him out I simply said to him "the lord will still bless you for raising someone else's child". This fool has full custody of a "biracial" child that has no trace of black in her and the mother was living with a man at the time she got pregnant. With that statement (which was made about 6 or 7 years back) he has never came back up in my face with any thing else.
I have found strength in my mother's support. Plus she knows all the dirt, so when someone starts to act up on me, my mum quickly buss them down
. Sadly my grandmother has diluded herself into thinking that she was a good mother and grandmother and it is the general consensus that she was not. However, she has left a legacy of competition and jealousy among her children. Fortunately it has not trickled down to our generation. Us cousins may not alway be one big happy family but at the end of the day we do care deeply for each other and don't let the nonsense affect our relationships.
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Originally posted by AKA_Monet
What strikes me is the "having your pride" in the face of idiodacy. Like, you can be proud but it still won't change how your G-ma treats you or your mother... So, if it is not going to make a difference and you can leave (spelled=run) to another universe, but you cannot hide from your "wonderful family members"  then you need some tactics to deal with them.
Do they know how to be "completely cut off" or could you actually do something like that? Just asking? Because if you choose to go that route, you will have "find that hardcore lump of ice coal" to do it, but you will not have complete tranquility, serenity and resolution... This issue is about "resolution" so you can move on and live a happy life no matter what they say to you...
And obviously, there's a saying, "to whom the god's wish to destroy, they must first make them angry..." So, somehow, your G-ma KNOWS and is very well adept to pushing your "right" buttons to set you off... The key is, you've gotta find a way to not make those buttons work anymore... And guess what? It'll frustrate the hayle outta dem and they'll be pissed off with you...
I know there is a way to deal with those kinna people, you do have options... And it does not include leaving an uncomfortable situation or confrontation... It's more relaxed than that... It's actually rather ice-breakingly funny--like just laughing at most of the chit they say to you on general principle--because in reality, will it make the world stop spinning??? Really?
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