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This may help.
Chapters run on momentum. Gather a couple of your friends together who feel the same way you do, and lay out a plan. If you'll orchestrate a series of small wins for the chapter, it will effect morale dramatically.
A series of small wins might include, for instance: focusing on a competitive sport that the women can play well and enjoy supporting the chapter; choosing one girl and slotting her in a spot for student government elections; identify a fraternity philanthropy competition and win it. The point is to expose the chapter to winning, even small things, on a regular basis. It distracts the members from turning inward and sniping at each other.
"Wins" can come in a lot of different forms. They don't have to be significant at all, but they have to be frequent enough to indicate a trend and to keep the members pre-occupied. Your promotion of these things adds to the "value" of memebrship.
Don't tell anyone what you're doing, outside your close circle of friends who are on board. You'll notice a fairly quick turnaround. My experience has been that the problems you describe begin to develop as soon as a chapter starts to ignore the external world and focus on their own small irritations. You gave it away with your opening line "My chapter isn't one of the best on campus". The mindset inside a chapter where members think that way is often self-destructive. They don't compete and they don't win. Instead of "what am I proud of?" the question is, "What am I unhappy about?"
Give them a series of little wins and they'll come right out of it.
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