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"Adoptions" were always informal in my chapter. My big sister transferred after my freshman year, so a year or so later I asked another sister to be my adopted big. I had three little sisters, so when I graduated, some of them asked other girls to be their adopted big. Really, it was no big deal - just a way of having a closer relationship.
I think you're taking this far too seriously. It would seem like your little sister needs a sister who is there on campus to be her mentor. You are graduated. And away from campus. That is the reality you have to accept.
Try to accept her choices and mend your relationship with her. For the sake of your chapter, let it slide. Focus on where you are now (starting a career?) and where you want to be. College is over.
Good luck!
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