Has anyone ever read "The Couch Slouch" (Norman Chad)? I found his article in the Seattle paper, but an edited version is in the Pittsburgh Post Gazette, too:
The Couch Slouch
by Norman Chad
5 February 2006
Belichick, Stones Weren't Rolling
"Super Bowl Sunday had a little of everything: Terrible Towels, MVPs on parade, The Whopperettes, an instant-replay reversal, Cheesy Bites, "We have a Code Black," repeated and annoying Radio Shack ads, "Satisfaction," a gadget-play touchdown, ABC's NFL swan song, The Bus' Last Ride, Fabio and, of course, a game for all ages.
Anyway, I took notes:
12:14 p.m. PT: Bill Belichick looked as comfortable on the pregame set as a turkey the night before Thanksgiving.
12:52: Note to August Busch IV (whom I affectionately called AB2squared): You can blah blah blah all you want about Budweiser Select, but I'm only pushing Rolling Rock up the hill.
1:07: I didn't know Jerome Bettis was from Detroit.
1:48: Those "Grey's Anatomy" promos almost scared me back to radio.
2:02: At my last MLS Cup party, we had a drinking game involving corner kicks.
2:23: I don't know why, but I thought Belichick might eventually do some shadow puppets.
3:21: Something tells me that future civilizations will look back at our Super Bowl ceremonial coin tosses with a degree of derision.
3:29: The phone rings moments after kickoff -- it's my second ex-wife, asking me what I'm doing. Man, she's got to let it go.
3:43: Sadly, I realize that the most complex and rewarding relationship I've ever had as an adult is with John Madden.
3:51: I used to have wavy locks like Troy Polamalu, but my co-workers at the cookie factory made me cut them.
3:59: It's all about interior line play, my friends, interior line play. And turnovers.
4:16: If Osama bin Laden were ever going to slip into America unnoticed, I'd bet it would be during the second quarter of the Super Bowl.
4:22: Mike Holmgren calls his own plays. I tried that during my first marriage -- it doesn't work.
4:26: One drawback to HDTV -- Bill Cowher's chin literally juts into your living room.
4:35: Ben Roethlisberger reminds me of a taller, slower whirling dervish!
5:06: The Rolling Stones were three-and-out. (A Don Mischer Production.)
5:18: Actually, I'm surprised the Stones didn't miss their flight, considering Keith Richards often sets off metal detectors in airports that he's not even in.
5:29: If I were married at the moment, that halftime lasted just long enough for a separation and a divorce.
5:32: One moment I'm in the kitchen getting Fritos, the next moment Willie Parker's in the secondary getting free.
5:40: The game is two hours old and I still can't believe the Colts aren't in it.
6:01: Madden: "What do you think they were looking at that they made him take his pants down?" (That is uncut and verbatim -- context not important.)
6:14: Is Al Michaels really going to ESPN next season? That would be like Sinatra playing a Ramada Inn.
6:22: TBS is running a "Yes, Dear" marathon, figuring that if you don't want to watch the Super Bowl, you really don't want to watch anything on TV.
6:28: Antwaan Randle El to Hines Ward!
I would've missed it if I hadn't set up a mini-fridge next to the beanbag chair.
6:33: Hey, I love Matt Hasselbeck, but if he keeps throwing picks and fumbling balls, he's going to be looking at careerbuilder.com sooner than later.
6:36: Scratch the fumble -- replay changed it.
6:36:30: If they used instant replay back in the '70s, I bet you Watergate plays out differently.
6:59: The Steelers made three plays all day; the Knicks do that and lose by 15.
7:01: Frankly, the Seahawks should've put their 12th man on the field. But the officials would've flagged them for it."
(Add three hours for the 'Burgh version!)
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