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Old 01-31-2006, 10:04 PM
hoosier hoosier is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2002
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Posts: 3,188
wal-mart humor

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike_behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a_doctor."
_
"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike_replies.
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"There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a_urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and_what to do about it.
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It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars . . . A lot cheaper_than a doctor." So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar_and takes it to Wal-Mart. He deposits ten dollars, and the_computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer_ejects a printout: "You have tennis elbow._ Soak your arm in_warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two_weeks. Thank you for shopping @Wal-Mart."
_
That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology_was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He_mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine_samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good_measure. Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the_results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and_awaits the results.
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The computer prints the following:
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1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.__(Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a_lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will_never get better!
_
Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart
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