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Chapter size is a reliable correllation of strength, but it is relative to the campus. At Penn State there are 55 fraternities, but a "large" fraternity is around 65 men. At Texas or Texas Tech, those considered the top fraternities will all have considerably more than 100 members.
At the University of Virginia, a chapter with 150 men would seem very much out of place, but fraternities considered the leaders at UVa will have maybe 60 members. On the other hand, a chapter of 60 men at Florida State cannot compete with the 100+ man chapters there, some of them with more than 150 members.
As far as how the members know each other, I'll point out that at may schools there are sorority chapters with nearly 200 members - some even larger - and they don't seem to have any problem with it at all.
I am a proponent of large chapters. If you have enough strength to draw the best men, then those are the men you WANT to be associated with. Fraternities run on momentum amd morale, and brothgerhood is enhanced when you're a member of the winning team.
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