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I am in a similar situation...except i've never met my father. For about 10 years i've been trying to contact my father, but he won't have it. I'm his 7th child...and the 1st girl, but i'm the ONLY child he doesn't talk to. Everyone else knows him and has regular visits from him...but not me.
I wouldn't give him back the gift cards. Whenever someone offers something like that, you keep it. Maybe he's trying to open a door, or maybe it is just something he feels compelled to do. I think that your children should call him up and say "thank you" and then MAYBE (of course it would be up to you) ask your dad, "grandpa when are you gonna come visit?" Ya know? Kinda put him in a spot..where he knows that your kids know that the gift cards were from him, but they really wanna see him. Maybe he'll straighten up and know that your a good kid...well adult...and that your kids are worth knowing. Ya know?
I think you have to let your dad, straight out...know how you feel, without getting upset. By having your kids say that they want him to visit and you saying the same thing, then maybe he'll get the jist. You just have to let him know, and the put the ball in his court. If he really doesn't want to, then you'll be fine. Your very well-adjusted and seem to do well without your father.
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