No one said it was gonna be easy... no one said it would be this hard

[honeychile]

I agree with telling your advisor & instructors about what you're going through. They will better appreciate what you ARE able to accomplish at this time.

I also agree that Betarulz knows of what he speaks. Counseling can help you better understand that what you are feeling is perfectly normal. There are several books on dealing with grief, but right now, you probably don't feel like reading them. If you can, try to find one you like (Elisabeth Kubler-Ross's On Death and Dying comes to mind), and read it over break.

Many of these books will show a slippery slope, that will explain a lot of what you are/will be feeling. In a nutshell, it's a combination of five emotions spaced on a slope that indicates that you will slide back and forth through these emotions in the blink of an eye. They are:

Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance

My best friend committed suicide several years ago in mid-December. I know he's gone, and I've been through all the steps. But, I know that, when that day comes, I will feel each one of those emotions, wondering if there was someway I could have stopped him.

Be good to yourself, and allow yourself to mourn while those who DON'T understand the dynamics of mourning will "let" you do so. And know that you can always come here, and we'll understand!

((((((((((((((((((((KLPDaisy))))))))))))))))))))))