Well, this isn't a bad line from a personal ad, it's actually a really great one. This is the best personal ad I've ever seen, really, and I hope a lot of dudes replied to her:
You're the asshole, I am the diplomat. - 23
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Reply to:
anon-24799209@craigslist.org
Date: 2004-02-20, 4:04PM EST
You’re the asshole, I am the diplomat. You burn bridges, I rebuild them.
You probably studied Philosophy in college. Maybe History. You’re apolitical, but bluff your way through debate. On our first three dates you will think little of me but as a shy piece of ass to play. Then I’ll catch you namedropping John Locke inappropriately and arm wrestle you into confessing you’ve never read him. I’m also pretty fucking funny. But you won’t get the jokes unless you stick with me.
And you do.
Because I’m hot. Because I’ve got a nice apartment and a cozy bed. Because you’ve always wondered what it’s like to be with a woman as tall as you. Because you’re secretly tired of all the scenester art school girls with black unflattering haircuts that go home with you otherwise.
We will have our adventures. We will be the only white people in a Georgia Ave Denny’s at 4am.. We’ll take the Chinabus to Philadelphia and meet all your goddam loser former bandmates and college friends. We will move to Astoria and live in a studio that costs $700 a month.
You hold my hand in public, not out of devotion but control. My looks, my wit, and my charm are now something you can call yours. The manic love/hate relationship that you have with yourself is extended to me. But when it comes down to it, I am the only person you trust.
For this, I say you are just like all of my exes. Just as possessive. I tell you I will either get a dog or leave you for a dumb guy, because they know how to love unconditionally.
The somewhat crafty things I like to do – gardening, cooking, crocheting – by this point seem pedestrian to you. You wish I were more like those reed-thin electro sluts that are in the “scene.” My friends aren’t cool enough. I’m never on the guest list.
All our friends say about us, “they are either fighting or fucking.”
When we break up I will throw all your belongings out on the street, then I'll delete you as a Friendster.
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