Troublesome recruitment questions

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How can you politely but firmly tell a PNM who didn't get a bid during formal recruitment and is going through COR that she will not be extended a bid even after COR?

I think this is actually a very good idea. Most times, the sorority just "plays dead" and ignores the emails and phone calls that come through from persistent PNM's. But being direct will help the young lady in her journey to find her niche in college social activities, and she'll stop wasting her time.

I'd recommend you bring together a couple of key chapter officers, write a brief phone script/guidelines of things to say and practice. And then you call those ladies up who have either been very persistent or whom you want to formally decline.

Is there any nice way to encourage her to go through recruitment the next semester while simultaneously pointing her away from your organization?

Absolutely. It is all in your approach. You don't want people who call her to be brusque and a turn-off to the young woman. You want to make sure she is left with a favorable impression of your sorority, even and especially if she isn't a member. Remember that if you poison the opinion of someone, she will confide in her friends and classmates-- and those people will get a negative impression of you, too-- eventually you develop a poor reputation and lose prospective members due to that reputation.

Feel free to PM me if you'd like ideas on how to get this together: a phone script, how to keep them in the Greek Interest circle, etc.

If your campus has some sort of Panhellenic recruitment process and then COR, what do you do about PNMs who went primarily to other organizations' events and seem to be 'settling' for your group during COR because they did not receive a bid from the group(s) they originally snubbed you for?

As other posters have said, you as a chapter need to close the books on formal recruitment and any perceptions you might have of why PNM's are coming to COR. COR is a new recruitment cycle. Reinforce this in your chapter.

And people change. Maybe a woman got cut by her top choices and was either cut from recruitment or she dropped. But some time has passed, her head is on straight and she is maybe realizing that you don't have to aim for the perceived top tier chapter in order to be a member of the best sorority. Formal recruitment brings out a lot of irrational emotions and competition.

Are we justified in asking why they chose to take a second look at our sorority?
Absolutely!!!

Are we entitled to know why they originally overlooked us in favor of another group?
Are you willing to tell them about your membership selection process and why you may have dropped them in the past? It's the same thing. Don't ask this question. It's very unflattering and will turn people off. The other question, "We're thrilled you're here at COR. Tell me what made you decide to take a second look at our sorority after formal recruitment?" is an excellent question.

Best of luck!