Is he into me or is just my imagination?

[TheBest!]

Now this threat is about one of my ex-boyfriends.
Sweet and rude, there for me and keep me waiting without a call to cancell.
We were together for 4 to 6 months. 6 years younger than me. We loved each other but I decided to break up since I was afraid of a relashionship with that age difference.
He is the kind of guy who thinks he is cute when he is rude and insulting but he does it in a way you don’t even notice.
He says he loves me but he confuses me. He invites to the movies or to play pool or once in a while to accompany him on his fraternity trips.
But when I tell him I love him and I can’t sleep with him being his friend. He says:”I don’t want to ask you to be my girlfriend since I haven’t changed, I am afraid to mess it up again and loose you…and he starts telling me neverending reasons (if it's my lifestyle(I have a lot of guy friends and hang out with them all the time) or his, that I am not ready for a relashionship, that he is too young..etc).
Sometimes he stood me up and whenever I called he said he had things to do and hung up.

Sometimes he sleeps over and he is sweet before you know what. After that he is the same budy, he doesn’t cuddle me or anything.

But then he get jealous when I go out with someone else even though he dated a sorority friend after we broke up.

Does he like me and he is afraid of a relashionship or he is not that into me

[valkyrie]

This is a textbook example of "he's not that into you but will have sex with you if it's convenient."

[Lindz928]

Maybe he does care about you somewhat. But, he doesn't know what he wants. I don't think you should give him the time of day until he is SURE of what he wants.

EDIT: Stop sleeping with him. That is often the quickest way to figure out how a guy feels about you.

[honeychile]

Tell him not to call you until he knows that he is ready to commit. AND STICK TO IT!!

If he doesn't call, he wasn't worth the tears.


ETA: If you want to be TheBest, start acting like it! Don't settle for being an also-ran!!

[Honeykiss1974]

Originally posted by valkyrie
This is a textbook example of "he's not that into you but will have sex with you if it's convenient."

Ditto

Tell him to kick rocks....

[wrigley]

He's so not into you. He knows he can get away with standing you up, treating you rudely, and still have sex with you at his convenience. You said it so yourself that he hasn't changed. He doesn't care about you. He may have said he "loves" you but he's not acting like it at all. All he cares about is getting what he wants when he wants. Until he wants to change, he's not going to do it for you or anyone else.

Lindz928 is right. Cut him off from sex. Take time for yourself to regroup.

[sugar and spice]

The "six years younger than me" part is the part that tripped me up. I'm assuming you are either in college or in your 20s (correct me if I'm wrong), in which case this situation ranges from "illegal" to "he's probably way too immature for you at this point."

And I agree with everything above.

[valkyrie]

Originally posted by sugar and spice
The "six years younger than me" part is the part that tripped me up. I'm assuming you are either in college or in your 20s (correct me if I'm wrong), in which case this situation ranges from "illegal" to "he's probably way too immature for you at this point."

Nothing says "success" like having to register as a sex offender!

[TheBest!]

I'm 26 and he is 20. I can't blame him for the inmature part, because I am not 100% mature enough either, but what concerns me is that I still have feelings for him, moreover I love the social life I have when I am with him...is that being selfish in a way?

[valkyrie]

No, it's not selfish, at all. In my opinion, it is a symptom of having low self-esteem. In short, you have feelings for someone who treats you like shit. It is my hearty recommendation that you spend some time alone, without dating or hooking up with anyone, so you can really figure out who you are and what you want in life.

[Lindz928]

Originally posted by TheBest!
I'm 26 and he is 20. I can't blame him for the inmature part, because I am not 100% mature enough either, but what concerns me is that I still have feelings for him, moreover I love the social life I have when I am with him...is that being selfish in a way?

I'm 24 and last year, I dated a guy who was 20. My friends made fun of me for dating a kid who I couldn't even take out to the bar.

I didn't think much of it until I heard myself saying the words, "I'm going to meet him at the fraternity house for beer pong...." Yeah..... Not that 24 is old, but a year and a half out of college, it was time to stop partying at the frat house.

And no, you are not being selfish.... HE IS!!!

So this ISN"T the married guy? wow, good taste in guys. ( I would hardly call them MEN)

[wrigley]

Originally posted by TheBest!
I'm 26 and he is 20. I can't blame him for the inmature part, because I am not 100% mature enough either, but what concerns me is that I still have feelings for him, moreover I love the social life I have when I am with him...is that being selfish in a way?

You're not selfish. You're selling yourself short No wonder his life is at the fraternity house. He can't get served in a bar or go to a 21 and over show. But he can tell you to wait by the phone and tell you not to date other guys. Oh he's a keeper.

Imagine if you had a daughter. Would you want her to date a guy that treated her like you're being treated now?

No type of social calendar or boy is worth losing your sense of self.

[33girl]

You can't take him to the BAR???? What's the point?

He's a jagoff, dump him, unless you're into being treated like yesterday's garbage.

[honeychile]

Originally posted by 33girl
You can't take him to the BAR???? What's the point?

He's a jagoff, dump him, unless you're into being treated like yesterday's garbage.

Well, you have to admit, at least he's not married.