What Not to Say to a Released PNM

[Rollergirl2001]

Originally posted by AXO_MOM_3
This is true too! So many people treat this like "okay, it's been a week now, time to get over and move on to something else." It does take time to heal, and these girls may need support for several weeks or even months afterward. Having some sort of support system in place for this would be a good thing.

Personally, I think this is also a place where women's own "cattiness" comes in to play as well. We all know girls who have been dropped from recruitment, and need to evalutate our own behavior towards them as well. So what if every sorority dropped her because has a bad reputation, or because she was shy and not very talkative, or simply because sisters overlooked a great girl because of release numbers. Whatever the reason, it does not mean that we have to whisper about that girl when we see her or ostrasize her forever because she did not get a bid. Call me silly, but I still believe in the Golden Rule - do unto others as you would have them do to you, or treat others the way you would like to be treated. Does not mean that we need to hang out with them or have a long conversations in the hallways with them, but we can at least respect them for making the effort to go through the recruitment process and nod or say hello to them once in awhile.

Exactly! Also, dropped PNMs can be catty too. What I mean is that PNM can act hostile to a sorority sister (i.e. giving dirty looks), and that would be a VERY BAD thing. Also, when girls get dropped, some would be like, "Whatever, I don't need to be in a sorority. They don't need a person like me." I think that comes froms a girl that either wants to be in a sorority for the wrong reasons (or no reasons at all) or a girl that has low self-esteem.

The bottom line, PNMs that don't get a bid and act catty about it are jealous. Jealousy always and will never get a person anywhere in life.

Another person to talk is a RA (resident advisor) who is not involved in a sorority. If an RA on your floor is not involved in a soroity, talk to her. She can help the girl heal, and that is one of the many non-Greek people to talk to. If the RA is involved with a sorority and the PNM (on the same floor) is too upset to talk to her, she should talk to other RA in the building (non-Greek of course). RAs may be in charge and may not be on the same floor as the PNM, but they are here to help (at most situations). Nine times out of ten, they've been in school longer than the PNM.