I have to quit! I don't know how!

CougADPi · #1 07-22-2005, 12:48 PM

My husband just got offered his dream job. We knew that if he got it, I would quit my job and move to where he will be (he makes a lot more then me, which was the main deciding factor, plus I really hate my job, so it wasn't a hard decision). Well, now I actually have to quit. This is my first "real" job so I don't know the proper way to do this (I know I need to write a letter, but what do I say, when do I give it to my boss?)

The other problem is that my boss is a huge jerk and is not going to like this at all. He knew that my husband was applying for jobs out of the area, but I think he is under the impression that I will just stick around until I'm not needed anymore. I want to give about 2 months notice, so I'm not "springing it" on him and it gives him time to find someone new, but I fear this will create a very uncomfortable working envrionment. Any help or ideas would be most welcome! Thanks!

Little E · #2 07-22-2005, 12:55 PM

Wow, good luck.
I think though because he does know that your husband was applying you don't need to feel like you are springing it on him. He should see that this is a possibility and it is part of his job to be mature about it. The two months might be a bit of notice, especially becuase it is your first real job....Good luck

aephi alum · #3 07-22-2005, 01:04 PM

Write a letter addressed to your boss. It should indicate that you're resigning and when your last day will be. It should also say something good, like "It has been a pleasure working with you." Say nothing negative. You do not have to specify why you are leaving.

Be prepared to be terminated as soon as you hand in your resignation letter - some companies operate that way. Two weeks' notice is the norm, so you may want to wait a bit before handing in the letter.

Good luck.

tunatartare · #4 07-22-2005, 01:09 PM

Find out from your company's HR department how much notice you have to give. Depending on your job level it could be anywhere between 2 weeks to 1 month. Personally, I wouldn't give a lot more notice than required.

honeychile · #5 07-22-2005, 01:12 PM

I would really advise you against giving two months' notice! One month is plenty; two weeks is the accepted norm. And since your boss knows that your husband is looking out of the area, he has all the notice he really needs. The more time you give a boss, the more time he will have to work on a bad reference. You want to be able to sit down with him and write your reference with him.

Figure out how much time it would take to train someone to do your job, and round it up a day or two (to work on your reference), and in case this is one really slow learner!). Then tell him that you'll help him find his dream replacement & train her! It could be a great experience for both of you.

Secret: Most bosses/managers hate to take the time to write a reference, but they are annoyed as can be when presented with a pre-written one. Have 5-6 great lines at the ready, and feed them to him, let him write it out, then offer to type it yourself (for him to sign). He'll think he's a genius, and you'll save him a brain cell or two.

Your letter to him should be short and sweet:

As you have known for the past (month? year?), my husband has been on a career search. He has accepted a position as a (career name) , but unfortunately, it is in (city). He will be leaving to start this new adventure on (date), and I will be following him on (date).

Therefore, I must regretfully tender my resignation as of (date). In the interim, I will be most happy to help you interview and/or train someone to fill my position. I appreciate your understanding, and for the (months? years?) that I've been a part of (name of the company).

I hope that I can depend on a letter of reference from you, and if I can help you with that, I would be honored.

Again, my sincere thanks,
CougADPi

Lady Pi Phi · #6 07-22-2005, 01:24 PM

I'm obviously completely unfamiliar with U.S Employment law, employers really allowed to give an employee a bad reference?
Can employers say negative things about their former employees?

I know here, you cannot give someone a bad reference. You can refuse to give a reference (and that can say a lot right there), but you can't actually say anything bad about a person. Many companies here actually have policies where managers/supervisors cannot give references because there have been cases of supervisors/managers giving bad references.

I'm just curious.

ADPiAkron · #7 07-22-2005, 01:30 PM

That is an excellent letter, Honey!!!

I also agree on not giving more than a month since you are dealing with a jerk!!

I know my co-worker let us know way early when he was leaving-- but he had to because we all knew he got into graduate school in another state!! Same with the co-worker before him- he got into Law School-- so we knew months in advance. But the guy who left before the Law School guy got another job and gave two weeks!!! (I work as a youth employment counselor and for some odd reason the other employment counselor position is like a revolving door!! I have been here for three years and the longest anyone else was here was 18 months!! haha)

I would say your case is similar to my two co-workers who moved away-- but since this guy sounds like a jerk-- I would not give him more than a months notice!!! The only reason I agree with a month and not 2 weeks is because then you can leave on good terms by helping find and train a replacement-- and you need more than 2 weeks to do that!! Good Luck!!

ETA: I found this on a legal website-- so I am guessing this mean you can give a bad job reference-- but he could not lie or bring up anything about you if not directly asked--

My former employer is sabotaging my job efforts by giving negative job references to prospective employers. Can I sue for libel?

Generally, statements made by a former employer to inquiries from a prospective employer can be made without fear of being sued later. However, protection will be lost if there are any ancillary suggestions, inferences, innuendoes, etc. that lead a prospective employer to attach a different meaning to what is said or to believe something misleading or untruthful about the employee. The difficulty is proving that the statements were inaccurate and wrong.

ZTAngel · #8 07-22-2005, 01:33 PM

I learned the hard way to never give more than 2 weeks if you have a jerk boss.

Two weeks is the norm and it is acceptable. Don't feel as if you 'owe' the company more than that because they could turn around and let you go before your last day without a second thought.

doves95 · #9 07-22-2005, 01:38 PM

Coming from and HR person it is illegal to give an Bad reference. A company can be sued for it.

I have done what you have. Basically 2 weeks to a month depending on your level at the company. A basic letter is fine do not go into your husband's position it is irrelevant.

Just say: I deeply regret to inform you but I will be resiging my postion with XYZ Company effective (Date). Thank you for the experience, professioanlism, and opportunities affored to me while employed for the past Xyears/months.

I will be happy to train a replacement prior to my leaving. I thank everyone in the company and look forward to when we can work together again.

Remember its about YOU not your husband and your company frankly does not care about your husband they care about replacing you. Do not write offer to write a recommendation that is presumptuous. If needed put them down as a reference or ask for one.

FYI ZTA is right dont give them too much notice they can fire you instead. to little and it can work against you

ZTAngel · #10 07-22-2005, 01:56 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by doves95
Coming from and HR person it is illegal to give an Bad reference. A company can be sued for it.

Technically right and wrong. A former supervisor is allowed to say anything that is the truth. If you were unproductive, the supervisor can say this. If you were tardy, the supervisor can say this. What the former cannot do is either make something up or give an opinion that could be slander just for the sake of barring you from future employment. The boss can say that you were unproductive but, unless he/she wants to get sued, cannot say, "The former employee is a jerk too and I just don't like him."

In effect, they can't give a bad reference in that it is a false opinion or a mean-spirited opinion (such as "he's a jerk so don't hire him!") but can give a not-so-good reference in that they can say you were lazy, rude, etc if it's factual based.

Keep in mind, any true information is fair game. Many big corporations will only give the dates of employment out of fear of being sued. This is not the case with all. If you were late for work or if you were nasty to all your co-workers, a supervisor is allowed to say something about it.

Also, when interviewing for a company, many will have a place on the application that you must sign that says that former employees are released from reference liability. If you did not sign such a form during an interview, the company you interviewed with can only ask your previous employer the dates that you worked and your salary. Careful because not all companies follow this procedure even though I'm pretty certain this is the law.

I've gone through a bad experience with a previous boss so I learned a lot from that and now I work at a law firm that has many Employment/Labor lawyers so I learn a thing or two when I help put together their presentations.

_Lisa_ · #11 07-22-2005, 02:37 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ZTAngel
Technically right and wrong. A former supervisor is allowed to say anything that is the truth. If you were unproductive, the supervisor can say this. If you were tardy, the supervisor can say this. What the former cannot do is either make something up or give an opinion that could be slander just for the sake of barring you from future employment. The boss can say that you were unproductive but, unless he/she wants to get sued, cannot say, "The former employee is a jerk too and I just don't like him."

In effect, they can't give a bad reference in that it is a false opinion or a mean-spirited opinion (such as "he's a jerk so don't hire him!") but can give a not-so-good reference in that they can say you were lazy, rude, etc if it's factual based.

Keep in mind, any true information is fair game. Many big corporations will only give the dates of employment out of fear of being sued. This is not the case with all. If you were late for work or if you were nasty to all your co-workers, a supervisor is allowed to say something about it.

Also, when interviewing for a company, many will have a place on the application that you must sign that says that former employees are released from reference liability. If you did not sign such a form during an interview, the company you interviewed with can only ask your previous employer the dates that you worked and your salary. Careful because not all companies follow this procedure even though I'm pretty certain this is the law.

I've gone through a bad experience with a previous boss so I learned a lot from that and now I work at a law firm that has many Employment/Labor lawyers so I learn a thing or two when I help put together their presentations.

And a lot of this is assuming that they even get to speak with your direct supervisor. References go through HR @ my company & our direct supervisors probably never even know if we've got people calling for references. The most they can say through our HR dept. are the start & end dates. Your company would have to be pretty big to have an HR dept.

doves95 · #12 07-22-2005, 02:40 PM

Very true but remember some ask specifically for your direct supervisor on an application or as part of your resume and may never talk with an HR person. Most companies (including schools) have an HR department even if its a HR director and 2 assistants

AOIIBrandi · #13 07-22-2005, 03:53 PM

I agree not to give more than a months notice.

Also, be prepared that when you do give notice the company may ask you to leave immediately (this doesn't mean they have fired you), so consider how long you can go without getting paid before giving notice.

_Lisa_ · #14 07-22-2005, 04:48 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by doves95
Very true but remember some ask specifically for your direct supervisor on an application or as part of your resume and may never talk with an HR person. Most companies (including schools) have an HR department even if its a HR director and 2 assistants

I guess I should've indicated that I really meant that the company would have to be pretty big to have an HR dept. that would handle these issues for every employee. Resumes can have our supervisors name on them but they'll never get to speak with them because managers/supervisors will refer someone to HR if they call & ask those kinds of questions. My boyfriend was let go from my company a few months ago & he referred an interviewing company to his old direct manager who gave the company the phone # to HR instead.

In fact, my company is thinking about going to a pay service for references. Its a 900# & a web site & you have to pay fees for the reference information...our HR dept. says that people are used to paying for references that way but I doubt it.

honeychile · #15 07-22-2005, 07:53 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lady Pi Phi
I'm obviously completely unfamiliar with U.S Employment law, employers really allowed to give an employee a bad reference?
Can employers say negative things about their former employees?

I know here, you cannot give someone a bad reference. You can refuse to give a reference (and that can say a lot right there), but you can't actually say anything bad about a person. Many companies here actually have policies where managers/supervisors cannot give references because there have been cases of supervisors/managers giving bad references.

I'm just curious.

Oh, you're legally allowed to give a bad reference, but you have to be ready to be sued for libel. Many people in HR know what to write to get the point across, though.