What should I think?? - Page 2

UlChiOCutie26 · #16 05-23-2005, 02:23 PM

I know....yeah, 5 yrs I have been with him. Thank you all for the comments. Serious thinking in the works tonight.

We have gone to look at rings and talked about marriage, kids, etc.

Munchkin03 · #17 05-23-2005, 02:36 PM

Just because you go to look at rings doesn't mean you're part of a serious couple. If someone is pulling this isht, he could go buy the biggest ring at Tiffany--and it still wouldn't make him, from what you've posted, a decent marriage partner.

AchtungBaby80 · #18 05-23-2005, 03:39 PM

Your story reminds me of the time my (now ex) boyfriend decided he needed to move back home, which was overseas, to "find himself." I went out to a comedy club one night with a guy friend and had a great time, until my boyfriend called and told me that some of his friends who live in my town (whom I wouldn't know even if I saw them walking down the street) had seen me out with another guy and had e-mailed him about it because "they thought [he] should know." I was absolutely livid...he had said that he had "spies" around so I'd better be behaving while he was gone, but I never took him seriously. I couldn't believe it. Now, his anger might have been justified if his friends had seen me kissing and hanging all over the other guy, but none of that happened and it was the fact that he'd had people watching me that ticked me off. That was pretty much the end, right there.

I agree with what everyone else is saying...dump your boyfriend! He sounds like too much of a headache to have to deal with.

BobbyTheDon · #19 05-23-2005, 05:33 PM

ULChiOQT,

were you in St. Pete? I agree you should dump him. Although ten bucks says you don't have the guts to dump him.

I triple dog dare you to dump him you wussy.

Ok, now that I have done that, you should have the motivation to do so now.

You can thank me later by making a thread titled, " thank you BobbyTheDon"

kddani · #20 05-23-2005, 07:32 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sugar and spice
Ummm hello, are you dating cashmoney?

LMAO!

But seriously, every thread you ask what you should do... we all keep telling you to dump his ass. Him doing/saying yet ANOTHER dumb ass thing isn't going to change that.

Bust his ass to the curb, you don't deserve that

cashmoney · #21 05-24-2005, 11:19 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by sugar and spice
Ummm hello, are you dating cashmoney?

what the fuck is that supposed to mean?

What my friends and I do is not out of the ordinary. In fact, I'm pretty positive my girl is trying to do the same type of shit I do to me but isnt having much success at it.

starryeyed · #22 05-24-2005, 12:43 PM

Thats not normal behavior. You need to breakaway from him.... He sounds like he has the warning signs of a man that could be dangerous.

AChiOAlumna · #23 05-24-2005, 12:58 PM

As I was reading your post my stomach began to churn...my gut was telling me to "RUN!" And don't look back....this sounds like the beginning of a control freak in the making. If you decide to stay, you need to start really listening to your internal instincts and if you recognize a pattern, then I would walk away from this relationship before it turns terribly wrong...

Good luck!

neonsparkles · #24 05-24-2005, 03:42 PM

I realize we are just people on a message board and do not know you or your boyfriend IRL... but I think sometimes it takes strangers to see what we can't see ourselves.

I dated a guy for almost 4 years. All my friends would tell me the relationship was going downhill, that he was changing, doing bad things, wasn't good enough for me, etc etc. I kept making excuses like "oh there are the good times they don't see" and "The don't realy know everything because they aren't in the relationship" and all of that other crap... but my asking them what they though was sort of a sign to myself that I knew the truth and just didn't want to admit it.

It sounds like you are doing them same thing; you realize that things are not going well (hello he is having you FOLLOWED... that is not sweet and caring behaviour), but maybe you are afraid to end things. Yes, its scary to be "dating" again... but isn't being followed or being in a relationship that seems to have come to a dead end (seeing as you obviously want marriage and he doesn't) scary also?

No one on GC can make up your mind, but I hope you will take the advice everyone has given you and get out of this relationship. Find someone who will inspire you to come on GC and tell the world how wonderful your boyfriend is... not someone who inspires you to come on here and vent about all the horrible things he does.

PsychTau2 · #25 05-31-2005, 01:12 PM

All of you seemed to have missed (or failed to comment on) a very important point in this post.

Quote:

Originally posted by UlChiOCutie26
"did you get out of your parking spot ok? It looked kinda like a tight squeeze." So I then I was like, "oh, so you were at the same place I was? That's cool." And then he goes, "no, people I know were watching you."

RED FLAG!!!! If he wasn't there, how could he say "it looked like a tight squeeze"? Either he was there, or his "people" had camera phones and were sending him photographs.

I haven't read your other threads and therefore I won't comment on whether or not you should dump him. I will point out that in two sentences he has proven to you that he doesn't trust you and that he lies to you. Two sentences.

When you envision being married, what do you see? What is your partner like? What kinds of conversations do you have, what kinds of interests do you share? How do you show each other that you really care about each other? How do you show each other that you value each other as an individual and that you support each other growing and developing as an individual? How do you see each other growing and developing the relationship? (Write these answers down on paper for maximum effect).

Now, ask yourself the same questions regarding your relationship right now, in it's current state. Don't go with "In the past we..." or "we used to..." or "But we can't because...". No qualifiers...just answer the questions as it stands now. (And don't wait until you have an awesome day or great sex to answer the questions. That's cheating and will not give you an accurate picture).

That exercise might help you to clarify things. Better yet, get some of your close friends to answer the same questions about your current relationship, using their own observations (not what you tell them).

Keep the answers hidden where he can't find them (preferable somewhere that he doesn't visit...a friend's place, your childhood bedroom, your locker at the gym, work (oooh, be careful here!)...). Go back and look at them after a week...see if anything jumps out at you.

PM me if you have questions about this or want to discuss further. Like I said, I won't tell you what to do, but I might be able to guide you to the right questions.

PsychTau

tinydancer · #26 05-31-2005, 08:49 PM

Take it from an old broad - things WON'T get better. Don't be so desperate to have a boyfriend or get married that you will accept someone who disrespects you in so many ways. It isn't worth it.

DolphinChicaDDD · #27 05-31-2005, 09:10 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by BobbyTheDon
ULChiOQT,

were you in St. Pete? I agree you should dump him. Although ten bucks says you don't have the guts to dump him.

I triple dog dare you to dump him you wussy.

Ok, now that I have done that, you should have the motivation to do so now.

You can thank me later by making a thread titled, " thank you BobbyTheDon"

ooohh snap!!
he bought out the triple dog dare!!!!!!

Optimist Prime · #28 05-31-2005, 09:10 PM

maybe his friends saw you and he was drunk...if he starts getting weird then break up with him