I Just got asked to be a date at fraternity formal

[greekintraining]

So, one of my great guy friends who just finished pledging has asked me to his fraternities formal. 1) Would it be wrong to assume that he should pay my way? 2)Are there any online stores that would sell dresses (nothing to fancy) for a reasonable price (lets say $50-$65)? 3) He's a wee bit shorter then me, so is it ok to wear flats or maybe a shorter heel? (In case its not clear I am a girl and he is a guy)

[knight_shadow]

1) If I asked a woman to be my date, there'd be no question that I'd pay her way.

2) Not sure.

3) Every Greek formal that I've attended has been like any other formal function. Dress as you would at another formal event.

[SoCalGirl]

Originally Posted by greekintraining

So, one of my great guy friends who just finished pledging has asked me to his fraternities formal. 1) Would it be wrong to assume that he should pay my way? 2)Are there any online stores that would sell dresses (nothing to fancy) for a reasonable price (lets say $50-$65)? 3) He's a wee bit shorter then me, so is it ok to wear flats or maybe a shorter heel? (In case its not clear I am a girl and he is a guy)

What kind of formal? If it's an overnighter you need to be clear with him what he or the chapter is covering and what you'd be expected to pay for on your own.

For a dress, I would check with friends to see if they have one you can borrow. Also any local stores in the area. I'm guessing you're in the middle of nowhere since you asked about the internet. Also, I'm thinking you have enough time to wait around for shipping so you should be able take the time to get to whatever the large town is nearby. Any Ross or Marshalls in the area? What about Forever21 or Charlotte Ruse? Don't rule out a store because you think it's cheap or whatever. You might find the perfect dress for a good price. By the same token don't rule out a store as too expensive. You could find an awesome deal on sale or clearance.

As for shoes, just make sure you're comfortable.

[Benzgirl]

Originally Posted by greekintraining

So, one of my great guy friends who just finished pledging has asked me to his fraternities formal. 1) Would it be wrong to assume that he should pay my way? 2)Are there any online stores that would sell dresses (nothing to fancy) for a reasonable price (lets say $50-$65)? 3) He's a wee bit shorter then me, so is it ok to wear flats or maybe a shorter heel? (In case its not clear I am a girl and he is a guy)

Assuming "formal" means "formal" (who knows these days)
1. Yes
2. EBay
3. Up to you, chickie

[DG4evah]

1. Surely he will pay.

2. I find a lot of stuff on www.Nordstrom.com and sometimes it will go on sale. They have a great selection there, too.
www.bcbg.com has sales right now, but that may be too much for you. Some will be $300 or so and then marked down to $140. They are great classic dresses you can keep for a while. We also borrowed dresses all the time so we wouldn't have to buy so many formals.
Finally, maybe check a consignment shop.

3. I think it's polite to wear a shorter heel in this case. I'm taller than my husband when I wear heels. He doesn't care now but when we were in college dating, I never wore heels!

[PhiGam]

1. You should not pay
2.
3. Yes, thats fine

[Bamamom13]

Find out if the dress should be short or long. All of my daughter's formal dresses have been short and all of her high school dresses were long. Try Macys.com. They have most of their dresses on sale now.

[ΑΓΔSquirrelGirl]

Ask him if any other girl you know is going and then shop for similar clothing...at least that way you know you've got someone in the same boat as you.

Different schools and chapters are used to different things. For a lot of the fraternity formals at my school the girls wear cocktail length dresses, not long dresses. They buy those for their own formals. I'm actually getting one from victoriassecret.com. It looks like a party/cocktail dress, but it's about $50.

Forever21 is a great place to buy dresses for cheap...but be aware of their exchange policies.

For your price range I would try both of those first if a shorter dress is appropriate. If you feel comfortable doing so, ask him to ask an older brother what their dates always wore...long or short.

He SHOULD be paying...it's inappropriate to ask someone out and then expect them to pay.

And as for the shoes...I would wear flats...it's polite and shows consideration for him. Flats will probably be cheaper as well...you can find them on both the sites I mentioned.

And by the way...accessories and shoes can make the outfit.

[jwsteele]

Even for our overnight formals the guy would pay for everything (meals, hotel room, gas money, etc) and I assume this is the case for 99% of the guys out there. No ideas about dresses but wearing flats would be nice since he is a shorter guy. I think he'd appreciate it.

[anchorgirly]

Ok, so I have been invited to a fraternity formal. But my date has not been very clear with me. This is my first out of town event and I have no idea what to expect. He said it is about two hours away from campus and we will check into our hotel at 4 then go eat and to formal. Does this mean we are staying over night? And are we staying together? What do I have to pay for? Someone help please!

[33girl]

Yeah, you're staying overnight, and yeah, you're staying together. You can sleep in sweats or something. If you're not comfortable with that concept, you probably should not go.

The only thing you should have to pay for is his boutenniere, if they are given at your school. Oh and of course, your dress/shoes/accessories.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by anchorgirly

Ok, so I have been invited to a fraternity formal. But my date has not been very clear with me. This is my first out of town event and I have no idea what to expect. He said it is about two hours away from campus and we will check into our hotel at 4 then go eat and to formal. Does this mean we are staying over night? And are we staying together? What do I have to pay for? Someone help please!

I have been to one fraternity's formal every year for the past 7 years (my 7th being this weekend. woot.) and the only thing I've ever paid for were my drinks... and that was only a few times when I wasn't actually dating my date.

To me, I would think it rude to get invited somewhere, and then have someone ask, "Ok, where's the money for dinner and the hotel?" If you're actually boyfriend/girlfriend, that's one thing. You might try to even out the cost if you know each other's financial situation. But if you're someone who's never been to one of these things and you aren't as familiar with all of this as other people might be, it seems a little weird for him to expect some money out of you. HOWEVER... I would definitely take some money with you. HOWEVER... do not offer to pay for anything (besides maybe drinks) at the event. At most, if not all formals, everything is paid for in advance. It'd be inappropriate to talk about money in the middle of dinner.

Basically, I know that I've invited different guys to my sorority formal, and I have never expected any of them to cover the cost of their meal. Money was never even discussed.

If you're getting a hotel room, I would have to assume that you're staying overnight. I can't tell you if you're staying together, though. No one here can. But again, I'd have to assume that you are. To mention a hotel room to someone, but then say, "Sorry, you're not staying with me," is strange.

Just talk to him about everything.

[anchorgirly]

Ok so yalls feedback helped! Ok but I am still a little clueless haha. Are there usually two couples in one room or just one? I am not dating this guy and don't know him that well, so I'm just a little concerned.

[LatinaAlumna]

Originally Posted by anchorgirly

I am not dating this guy and don't know him that well, so I'm just a little concerned.

Then you probably shouldn't go away overnight with him. Unless this is a friendship where you guys consider yourselves to be like brother and sister, the dude is probably figuring he is going to get lucky. Just don't be naive.

[pshsx1]

I wonder how many fraternities the OP's date is in. That could potentilly been a lot of formals!!

/joke