Would you mourn a baby that was never born?

[Rudey]

Is it just a pro-life thing?

Would you mourn a baby that never lived?

-Rudey

[mulattogyrl]

Simple answer, yes.

[Rudey]

Originally posted by mulattogyrl
Simple answer, yes.

For real? So if you had a miscarriage ages ago you would refer to your daughter's death to this day?

-Rudey

[mulattogyrl]

Originally posted by Rudey
For real? So if you had a miscarriage ages ago you would refer to your daughter's death to this day?

-Rudey

Ummm, no. That's a bit morbid, lol. I actually did miscarry a few years ago, and I mourned then, but I have no idea what date it was, lol.

[Rudey]

Originally posted by mulattogyrl
Ummm, no. That's a bit morbid, lol. I actually did miscarry a few years ago, and I mourned then, but I have no idea what date it was, lol.

Yeah that's what I was getting at. I just didn't know if that was a normal thing to refer to a miscarried baby as your daughter after so many years. You girls are so complex.

-Rudey

[mulattogyrl]

Originally posted by Rudey
Yeah that's what I was getting at. I just didn't know if that was a normal thing to refer to a miscarried baby as your daughter after so many years. You girls are so complex.

-Rudey

We are, aren't we?

[Munchkin03]

If the baby was stillborn, or died right before it would have been born then, yes...for a little bit. But for a miscarriage, probably not 15-20 years later.

After all, I couldn't mourn for too long--I'd still want to tell dead baby jokes.

[mulattogyrl]

^^LMAO!!!

[valkyrie]

I like it when people think they had a miscarriage but aren't sure because it's entirely possible it was just a really bad period, and then continue to talk about the trauma of the miscarriage and how it supports their rabid pro-life-osity because OMG how could ANYONE ever possibly want to GIVE UP A CHILD because this is very painful for me!

[PM_Mama00]

Originally posted by Munchkin03
If the baby was stillborn, or died right before it would have been born then, yes...for a little bit. But for a miscarriage, probably not 15-20 years later.

After all, I couldn't mourn for too long--I'd still want to tell dead baby jokes.

There've been people who have buried their stillborn. I've never been in that situation, but I'm assuming it would be just as hard as losing a child. There's actually a few cemetary plots where my grandparents are that must've either been stillborn or died the same year they were born.

[AlphaFrog]

If I actually knew I was pregnant and had a miscarriage, I would mourn for a little while, and then get over it. If I had a stillborn, I think I would be more likely to remember the date and all, but I still don't think I could refer to it as a son or daughter.

[squirrely girl]

i think it depends on the person - i have a cousin who has miscarried twice and doesn't refer at all to those experiences but i also know a woman who is adamanent that she has 7 children just that four of them are already in heaven (ala miscarring also).

i think for some people it would also depend on how far along they were in the pregnancy - a month, five month, complications during childbirth/stillborn? i think that would make a big difference for me as to how long i carried that experience with me.

- marissa

[valkyrie]

In all seriousness, I agree with squirrely girl. I know someone whose baby died RIGHT before her due date, and she had to go through labor and give birth to a dead baby. I can't even imagine how awful that would be.

[GeekyPenguin]

I know a woman who has six children and miscarried two. Whenever anybody asks, she simply says she has six children.

[carnation]

I don't think anyone could know how they'd react to this unless it happened to them. I never gave miscarriages a thought until it happened to me during my 4th pregnancy. My sister-in-law miscarried the same month and we had both seen our babies alive on ultrasound and then a week later.....

If it hasn't happened to you, you have no right to criticize the mourning of someone who's miscarried. Everyone's mourning is different. I have no right to say, for instance, that a widow is overdoing it with her reactions or that someone who lost a relative on 9-11 really ought to get over it.