knowing a pnm too well

[trisigmaAtl]

has anyone ever had this problem/pleasure?

for example, one of my roomates is rushing in the fall. she will be a junior, but that's no biggie here. I have known her since my freshman year. She went through informal with my best friend and I this spring but didn't get a bid because she didn't attend enough events to show adequate interest. However, the whole time we were doing informal she talked about how she wouldn't take a bid anyway. then, when my friend and I took our bids she burst into tears talking about how she felt left out. now, all of my sisters like her alot so everyone really encouraged her to go through rush in the fall and reminded her that they really liked her
(discreetly, not dirty). I myself even greatly encouraged her to rush, but warned her to think about what she wanted to do during the summer. I do like my friend and think she has the potential to make a great sister, if she decides to truly commit. my problems are this.

lately she has been refering to herself as a "Sigma Pledge" in front of me and saying things sarcastically like "i'm not guareented a bid or anything hee hee". and I just want to yell at her "No, you're right you're not!!!!!" I sometimes wonder if she would even join a sorority if it wasn't for the fact that her other two closest friends had joined. does she want to be a sister, or just stay in the loop? you know?

the thing is, she and I have clashed before over things so I feel like me telling her to tone it down would be like me telling her "I don't like you" ( i do like her) or keep her from rushing (which is her right to do). I want her to rush, but I don't know how to deal with these problems i'm having with her, i feel like i shouldn't tell my sisters... i don't know. I hope that she'll do what makes her really happy, not just what will keep her from feeling isolated. and I want a nice way to tell her not to think she's gonna get a bid without sending her off the deep end. does this make any sense? are there any suggesstions?

how do you deal with a CLOSE friend who is also a pnm?