WHY DO......?(The Original Ape series)

[The Original Ape]

WHY DO.....?

Why do many women, regardless of how mature or secure they are in themselves, still prematurely convict a brutha if they hear someone has seen their man out with anotha woman?

Yeah, I know it's not Greek-related; but we ALL have to deal with this situation at some point in our lives.

[lastpoetnsite]

much respect...

good question. but i have a question first...would you rather her ask you if this "rumor" is the truth or just blow it off and not say anything?

peace,
lastpoet

[AKA2D '91]

I dunno. It just happens like that. No explanation for it at all.

Question:

Has she "found you" in a situation where you had not been honest b4 and you were "with" another woman?

[Ideal08]

Well, it could be for a variety of reasons.

1) Most women like to think they know their men inside and out. So to hear that he was out with a woman somewhere, you're like, who was she?? Especially if you know that your man usually doesn't spend time with other females.

2) If he has been untrustworthy in the past, of course it would raise eyebrows.

3) Many women are bitter, and you know misery loves company, so they pump up their girl to get hyped over something that could very well be nothing. Women need to stay away from these type of "friends." Not everyone has our best interest at heart.

4) Between the time that you hear the rumor and the time you talk to your man, your mind has begin to run away with itself, to the point where you have convinced yourself that you no longer really know what's going on.

And lastly . . .

5) Some women can't survive without drama.

[The Original Ape]

First ladies, please don't assume it's me. I have no problem identifying myself in a problem, or as the problem. Secondly, assume that this man has'never been caught' in this position before.

Lastpoetnsite:

Yes. I would rather she ask first, then...

Ideal08:

#5 is the shyt!!! That is sooo true!

[The Original Ape]

Would you ladies agree that men would react the same way?

[Professor]

....Also, Brothers don't you get tired of women making comments like "Jill told me she saw you at the club talking to some girl." Who gives a $%*t! If you want to know if I was out flirting just ask and don't come to me with mind games. You know how they do - - they don't talk to you for a few days because they are mad but you don't know why they are upset in the first place until you drag it out of them. Damn - - - it didn't mean to get so wrapped up in this.

[The Original Ape]

Originally posted by Professor:
....Also, Brothers don't you get tired of women making comments like "Jill told me she saw you at the club talking to some girl." Who gives a $%*t! If you want to know if I was out flirting just ask and don't come to me with mind games. You know how they do - - they don't talk to you for a few days because they are mad but you don't know why they are upset in the first place until you drag it out of them. Damn - - - it didn't mean to get so wrapped up in this.

That could be a playoff attempt to hide that fact that SHE was spreadin' it like mayonaise while you got your flirt on too!

VictoriaSecret:

You're right-for alot brothas.



[This message has been edited by The Original Ape (edited May 11, 2001).]

[lastpoetnsite]

much respect...

Original Ape...another question...so she asks if it is true...how should she ask?

should she just say: "my friend said that she saw you with (insert name here) is that true"

should she say: "i have heard something that i just don't want to believe so i'm bringing it to you before we have any drama...i heard that you were with (insert name here)...so whassup?"

or how would you like this to be asked?

cause believe me it can get sticky any way you frame it...ya know?

peace

[The Original Ape]

Originally posted by lastpoetnsite:
much respect...

Original Ape...another question...so she asks if it is true...how should she ask?

should she just say: "my friend said that she saw you with (insert name here) is that true"

should she say: "i have heard something that i just don't want to believe so i'm bringing it to you before we have any drama...i heard that you were with (insert name here)...so whassup?"

or how would you like this to be asked?

cause believe me it can get sticky any way you frame it...ya know?

peace

I like to keep life simple. I can't get with that confusion shyt. I'd rather she just tell me that so and so saw me at the club talkin' with_______. Is it true? Keep it basic, and I'll answer it.

[Inquisitive]

Originally posted by The Original Ape:
WHY DO.....?

Why do many women, regardless of how mature or secure they are in themselves, still prematurely convict a brutha if they hear someone has seen their man out with anotha woman?

Because nowadays most people (males and females) are just so damn dishonest! You don't know who to trust. Let's say that you didn't beat around the bush with your lover and came right out and asked them directly if they were cheating or with someone else. In this day and age do you really think that most people would come right out and admit it. Not too many!

[The Original Ape]

Originally posted by Inquisitive:
Because nowadays most people (males and females) are just so damn dishonest! You don't know who to trust. Let's say that you didn't beat around the bush with your lover and came right out and asked them directly if they were cheating or with someone else. In this day and age do you really think that most people would come right out and admit it. Not too many!

Do you believe that the recipient of such harsh truth can handle it?

[Inquisitive]

Originally posted by The Original Ape:
Do you believe that the recipient of such harsh truth can handle it?

I can't say! That would totally depend on the person. Individual differences you know? I don't see why that would matter though. Personally, I would have much more respect for someone who came out and told me the truth than for someone who lied to me to my face. But that's just my opinion. I take the truth better than I do a lie. For instance, a similar situation happened between an ex-boyfriend and myself where I had "heard" he was seeing someone else or whatever and I asked him about it and he admitted to it. I was able to say fine let's just break it off here and go our separate ways. However, had he not told me the truth and I later found that he had lied the outcome might not have been that ideal.

[The Original Ape]

Originally posted by Inquisitive:
I can't say! That would totally depend on the person. Individual differences you know? I don't see why that would matter though. Personally, I would have much more respect for someone who came out and told me the truth than for someone who lied to me to my face. But that's just my opinion. I take the truth better than I do a lie. For instance, a similar situation happened between an ex-boyfriend and myself where I had "heard" he was seeing someone else or whatever and I asked him about it and he admitted to it. I was able to say fine let's just break it off here and go our separate ways. However, had he not told me the truth and I later found that he had lied the outcome might not have been that ideal.

Inquisitive,

It's nice to know a lady that handles the truth well, be it good or bad; but YOUR THE EXCEPTION TO THE RULE. Most people(women AND men) that SAY they can handle that kind of truth actually can't; and then the problem becomes bigger.

[Inquisitive]

Originally posted by The Original Ape:
Inquisitive,

It's nice to know a lady that handles the truth well, be it good or bad; but YOUR THE EXCEPTION TO THE RULE. Most people(women AND men) that SAY they can handle that kind of truth actually can't; and then the problem becomes bigger.

I forgot to ask you this in my first reply. Did you ask me if the the recipient could handle the truth because you would lie to them or not admit that you were in fact with someone else, cheating, etc because you thought that they wouldn't be able to handle it?

"I can't expect the truth from those who continue to lie to themselves"


[This message has been edited by Inquisitive (edited May 18, 2001).]