Keep on keepin' on: my semester-long quest for a bid

[UGAgirl93]

Hey, everyone! I'm so happy to FINALLY be able to share my recruitment story! Warning: it might be super long and boring. Stay with me! It has a happy ending.

As you can see from my username, I'm a student at a large, SEC school, which we know means a competitive formal recruitment. I didn't start to learn about greek life until the end of my senior year of high school. The only greek person in my family went greek at a very small college with a small greek community and a very relaxed rush. At her school, you really, really did not have to get your own recs. Many people decided to rush as on a whim and because the number of girls rushing was relatively manageable, the sororities would just flip through a book of alumnae and call up someone to write a recommendation. Needless to say, the information I got from her about recs and recruitment was not really applicable to UGA, where recruitment is much less casual. Fortunately, my friend's older sister was able to guide me in the right direction during the summer and I did (eventually) find out that recs are essential and I was able to round up a few. I think in total I had at least one rec for 11 out of 17 sororities, including some multiples. If I had started earlier, I probably could have gotten at least one for every chapter and a couple of extras. I wasn't worried about it, though.

On the first two days of recruitment, I had a blast. We saw all 17 sororities during round one. I won't go into detail about every sorority because, to be honest, some of the parties run together and what I thought of most of the rest of them didn't end up mattering in the end. I will name a few that are relevant to my story in no particular order. We'll go with designer brands for aliases.

Michael Kors: This sorority was my first of round one. I did not have a rec for this house, but I had a great time here. I felt like I really impressed the main girl I talked to (at one point she even said she was very impressed and intrigued by something I said). I thought it very likely that I would go back even though I didn't have a rec and that thought made me happy.

Coach: I really loved this sorority during FR. After round one they were one of my top two. I had one rec for Coach. A girl my friend's sister (we'll call this sister S) knew was a senior in Coach and she had told her to look out for me. While I was talking to one of the sisters, she ran up and said, "Hey, L! Welcome to Coach! S has told me so much about you! I hope you go Coach!" I felt good leaving this house and felt good about coming back.

**Sidebar: my initial isn't really L.

Louis Vuitton: This house was super chill and relaxed. The sister I talked to said she wanted to make me feel at home and comfortable, which I really liked. Many girls from my HS have gone Louis. I can think of 6 off of the top of my head who are currently active at UGA alone. I had a rec for Louis.

Lilly Pulitzer
This was a surprise favorite. I didn't know any Lilly girls or alumnae. I had never heard of Lilly and didn't have a rec. The girl I spoke with was very sweet and funny. I fell in love with this house and they became my number one choice.

Tory Burch: I did have a rec for this house. When I first arrived, I was intrigued by the house, which was just SO gorgeous and had the most amazing front porch. The girl I met here seemed really nice, but the conversation didn't flow so well and I thought that I hadn't impressed her. I wanted to return to this house, but I didn't think I would.

I won't go into detail about how I ranked because none of these sororities were in the bottom 5, which are the only ones you really rank after the first round.

The morning of round two (house tours), we got our schedules on little strips of paper. When I unfolded mine, I was shocked. Out of a possible 12, I had 3 invites. My stomach dropped. I quickly searched for Lilly Pulitzer and found it still on my list, along with Louis Vuitton and, to my surprise, Tory Burch. I was panicking inside but I tried not to let it show. I went in the bathroom, hid in a stall and kept myself from crying. I walked out and immediately regretted my plain outfit. The light blue recruitment shirt, classic white shorts from Gap, a white watch with rose gold accents and plain, pale gold metallic sandals. My hair was just straightened and already starting to frizz. My makeup was understated. I started to second guess everything about myself.

I kicked back into recruitment mode while standing outside of Louis Vuitton, waiting for the first party to start. I met a new girl and she showed me around the house. The conversation felt kind of forced and I felt like the girl didn't like me too much. We kept running into a girl from my HS who had graduated a year before me. She said "Hi" to me each time and it made me feel a little better.

I had a two or three party break between my first party and the next, which was at Lilly Pulitzer
. I went ahead to the house and stood around under the little tent on the front lawn, which had adorable snacks and cookies in the shape of the sorority's symbol. I talked to other PNMs as they showed up for their tour until it was my turn to go in, even confiding in one of them about my schedule who assured me that everything would work out and not to fret. She was super sweet and I wish I knew who she was today so I could thank her for being so kind to me when she didn't even know me.

I had an awesome time once again at Lilly. One girl showed me the house, which was beautiful. She had been specifically assigned to me, which I know because she said, "So, L, I heard from M (the girl who rushed me round one) that you're really into art and photography. So am I!" We had a lot in common and talked about things other than the usual questions. I was then bumped to a girl who showed me pictures from their sisterhood retreats, formals, socials and the most recent big/little reveal. I felt like I really clicked with this girl as well. We talked about travel and she asked me about trips to Europe I took in HS. She asked me if the leaning tower of Pisa was really as big as it seems in pictures and for some reason I really liked that question (because it really isn't as tall as it seems). It intrigued me because it seemed genuine; it wasn't planned or scripted and it was kind of funny. As she walked me out she said, "It was great talking to you and I really hope to see you tomorrow!"

I didn't know how to take this comment. I knew she wasn't supposed to say that. It seemed like a good sign and a bad omen at the same time. I later found out that one of my rush buddies had been told the same thing as she was leaving that house.

Either way, I was even more in love with Lilly and I desperately wanted to return.

I had a huge break between Lilly and Tory Burch, so I went home and changed into some cuter shorts and redid my hair and makeup.

Standing outside of the Tory house, I began to think about how glad I was to be back. Besides its beauty, I knew the house had a rich and interesting history. I was excited for a second chance. The girl who rushed me was a very sweet sophomore who knew a lot about the house. The inside was just as gorgeous as the outside. As we went from room to room, I started to think about how fun it must be to live in the house and bond with your sisters. It seemed like a slumber party every night with a ton of your best friends. I learned about this house's philanthropy and it made me like this house even more. A second girl walked me out the door and to the sidewalk and we talked briefly before it was time to leave.

I hoped that I wouldn't get the dreaded call, but somehow I knew it would come. I woke up that night to a 1 AM phone call from my Gamma Chi, who told me I had been released. I was too tired to be sad and I went back to my uneasy sleep. The next morning, after my roommate left for round 3, I sobbed and sobbed. I felt hurt, rejected, and slightly humiliated, because I knew the other girls from my HS would end up with bids and I would be the only one without. I didn't feel like I was good enough for greek life and it ate me up inside.

To be continued...

[Tulip86]

Excited to hear where you end up!

[AlphaFrog]

FYI - not every sorority requires recs to issue a bid. There are a few sororities where the majority of its chapters wouldn't know what to do with a rec if they received them.

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

FYI - not every sorority requires recs to issue a bid. There are a few sororities where the majority of its chapters wouldn't know what to do with a rec if they received them.

Probably not at UGA, but at other schools I completely agree.

[greekdee]

Can't wait to hear your happy ending. I'm in the Atlanta area, and while PNMs from my community attend schools throughout the SEC, the majority of recs I send are to UGA. I follow recruitments there every year and know it can be very, very rough! Sorry your first go around did not have the desired results, BUT glad to hear you didn't give up on your hopes of being part of Greek Life. Your story will also be encouraging to other PNMs who are reluctant to try again, thinking their one and only chance of finding a sorority home is gone after that first semester of formal recruitment. Looking forward to more of your story!

[ElvisLover]

Don't leave us hanging too long!

[KillarneyRose]

The thing I really love about this thread is that I know there will be a happy ending so I can just enjoy it instead of stressing out on behalf of the PNM!

[UGAgirl93]

Immediately after being released, I knew that I wanted to try again. My Gamma Chi had told us her recruitment experience: that she had rushed as a freshman and been released from all 17 chapters after round one and then rushed successfully as a sophomore. I took it as a sign and it made me hopeful.

A month or so into the semester, I ran into a girl from my Gamma Chi group who I'd kept in touch with. She had gone Tory. She said that she had been meaning to talk to me because total had recently been raised and Tory was looking to add about 14 new girls to their fall pledge class. She asked if I wanted her to put my name in the mix and I told her absolutely. We exchanged info and she invited me to Tory's event that week that supported their philanthropy (I can't say what or it'll give them away). I told her I'd be there.

I went to the event with another girl from my Gamma Chi group, a sophomore who had been released. I knew that some of the Tory girls would most likely be checking me out, so I made sure I looked cute. The event was really fun and I met a few more girls in the Tory pledge class. For the next week, I waited anxiously to be contacted by someone from Tory, but I never was. When I saw the girl who invited me a couple of weeks later, she seemed awkward and I sensed a bit of pity from her. I knew I hadn't been picked.

What was wrong with me? At this point I knew I hadn't gotten the recs I needed during formal, but surely I must have done something else wrong. I obsessed over my faults. Was I not pretty enough? Did I dress poorly or too plainly? Was it my attitude? How did I come off to others? I knew it couldn't be my GPA, but maybe I wasn't involved enough in high school. I scrutinized myself constantly, wondering what it could have been. I poured over greek chat on a daily basis, informing myself about rush as a sophomore and spring recruitment opportunities. I was too stubborn to let it go. I was determined. I was going to go greek.

[ADPi95]

So glad you said at the beginning that this ends with a happy ending! Can't wait to read more

[ASUADPi]

I love your honesty.

Everyone feels the way you felt when they are rejected. You question everything about yourself.

[UGAgirl93]

I knew that if I wanted to have a shot as a sophomore, I would need a stellar GPA and a fair amount of campus involvement. I joined a large group on campus whose goal is to raise money for kids affected by HIV/AIDS. I also joined a much smaller group that builds houses for those in need. I worked hard and got a 3.7 GPA my first semester. I constantly checked the UGA Panhellenic website for spring recruitment info. Around the end of the semester a little blurb went up on the website about spring recruitment opportunities with a link to a google doc where you could submit your name and information to be placed on an "interest" list. I filled out the form and put my name on the list immediately.

Over winter break I did a lot of thinking, hoping and praying. I wanted so badly to be part of a sisterhood. When school started back up, I checked my email religiously hoping to be contacted. After about three weeks I figured I wouldn't be getting an email. Then, one afternoon when I was least expecting it, I got an email.

Hey, L!
I'm A, the assistant recruitment chair from Tory Burch. We are participating in spring recruitment this year. We would like to invite you to participate in an upcoming event to learn more about our chapter, meet some sisters and get a feel for our organization. We hope that you will seriously consider joining Tory! Let me know if you have any questions or would like more information about the spring recruitment process.
Thanks,
A

My heart absolutely stopped. I was in disbelief. I was THRILLED. I emailed A back immediately and said that I would love to learn more about Tory. She emailed back and said that they were having a dinner at a cool pizza place downtown Saturday evening and that she would pick me up.

I was overjoyed. I started to wonder if I might be contacted by any other sororities, particularly Lilly Pulitzer because I had liked them so much during formal recruitment. However, I didn't want to go down that path. Tory had invited me and I was happy. To worry about any other sororities would be sort of ungrateful. I decided to take the approach you take when you get only 3 out of 12 invites - that the ones you have are the only ones on campus. They're the only ones that matter. Tory was the only one that mattered now, because it was the only one I mattered to.

I immediately started planning my outfit for Saturday. When the day came, I got ready for two whole hours, ironing and primping and straightening my hair. I played a lot of girl power music to get me pumped up and I sang and danced in the mirror to work out my nerves. I felt confident.

A and another Tory picked me up, along with another PNM. We all talked in the car and as we walked to the restaurant from where A parked. I felt a bit overdressed and I was a little nervous at first, but I forced myself not to be. We met up with some other Tory girls and PNMs before ordering and splitting up to sit at different tables. At my table there were 3 PNMs and 3 actives. The conversation was very relaxed and felt really natural. They asked us questions occasionally, but mostly we just talked about whatever and joked around a lot.

I really liked these girls. I thought about things I had read here on GC about how some chapters shine more than others during FR. I thought about how some chapters I went to had been really good at making conversation and making me feel like they wanted me there and how others had seemed more distant, probably because they were nervous. If you had asked me about Tory after round one of FR, I would have said that I liked them, but I didn't think they liked me and that I didn't feel like I had clicked with the girl as much as some of the other houses. I didn't dislike them, but I couldn't tell if there was a connection there. I just felt neutral. Now, though, Tory seemed to really shine. I could see how these girls interacted with each other in real life rather than in the scheduled, scripted setting of formal recruitment. I could witness their sisterhood firsthand instead of just having them tell me about it. I felt like I fit in with them.

After a couple of hours of fun, A drove us back to the dorms. I said goodbye feeling that the whole thing had gone really well.

[WhiteDaisy128]

I so want more! :-P

[UGAgirl93]

After three excruciatingly long days, I received another email from A. She said that they had all had a really great time meeting me and hanging out the other night ant that they wanted to invite me to their next event. I replied saying that I had had a great time meeting them as well and that I would love to come to the next event. A couple of days later she sent me the event info.

I repeated the getting ready process all over again, sing-along and all. The event was being held in a large classroom/small lecture hall kind of room. When I got there I chatted with some of the PNMs I had met last time before some actives I hadn't met before introduced themselves. I talked to a girl that we'll call K, who was very pretty and funny and she introduced me to her roommate, who was also pretty and absolutely hilarious. I was really getting the feeling that this whole chapter might have a great sense of humor, which I liked a lot.

We all sat down at tables and one of the actives started handing out craft supplies. We were going to make Valentine's Day cards for soldiers, which I thought was so sweet. I was excited about this since we don't do crafts at UGA during formal recruitment, but I had heard of a lot of other schools that did. I was sure I would be able to come up with something cute, clever and heartfelt that a soldier would like and that would impress the Tory girls.

I sat between K and her roommate and K and I started talking. She asked me some things about myself and told me about herself and we let the conversation go where it wanted from there. We had a lot in common. We joked about how we were both very artistic (we had both taken AP art) but how we were not very crafty at all and how we didn't have good handwriting. I made a few really cute cards and one really clever one that K seemed to be very impressed with. She called several of her sisters over to look at it.

After a while they announced that we were now going to split into teams and play a game where you answer trivia questions. I got put on a different team than K. My team was mostly PNMs with only one sister. It was exciting to think that these girls could possibly end up being my sisters and my pledge class. We talked to each other for a little bit before we got started. My team dominated the trivia game and we had a lot of fun. Before I knew it, it was time to go. We all said goodbye but I didn't want to leave. I was IN LOVE with this chapter. I wanted to be a Tory.

[UGAgirl93]

I waited and waited for an email. It seemed like forever before I got one. During that time I thought about all the Tory girls I had met during formal recruitment, around campus and during the informal events. They were all so sweet, charming and funny. I hadn't met a single Tory who was negative or unkind. Several days after the party, I got what I was waiting for. A emailed me and said that they were in the process of issuing bids but that she would need me to send her a screenshot of my cumulative GPA from the official school website thing we use as a part of international bylaws. I quickly sent it to her and the waiting game began all over again. In my heart I felt like I had it, but I didn't want to jinx myself. I thanked my lucky stars that my GPA from last semester was good.

The next day at around 10:30 at night I got a call from A. She asked me how I was doing. I said I was great and asked her the same thing. She said she was doing great as well. My heart was pounding. She got to the point.

"I'm calling to let you know that we would like to extend to you a bid to join Tory Burch."

I was stunned. I was so happy I could hardly speak. All I could say was "Oh my gosh." A laughed and I said "I am so excited!" She said she was too and I could hear a smile in her voice. She let me know when and wear I could accept my bid if I wanted to and then we hung up.

I was in utter disbelief.




This is it!








I'm in!

























I'm going to be a Tory!

Otherwise known as...








































































ALPHA GAMMA DELTA!



I'm going to the greek life office on Friday to officially accept my bid! I feel so blessed to be welcomed into such an amazing sisterhood. I cannot wait until Friday and to spend the rest of the semester getting to know my tiny pledge class and the rest of my chapter and future sisters! I know Alpha Gam will change me for life and I am truly, truly thankful that they gave me a chance.

Squirrel power!

[thetalady]

What a fabulous story!!! Good for you and congratulations. So nice to see that you tried again & ended up in a wonderful sisterhood.