Jewish wedding traditions adopted by non-Jewish couple

[Still BLUTANG]

from a Washington Post article:



Rabbi Kenneth Block stood waiting under the white canopy with Melanie’s husband-to-be, Michael Pezzula. Next to them were a decorated ketubah (a Jewish marriage contract) and a tall, white table that held a wine glass for the Kiddush, a blessing over the wine that would be recited as Melanie, 28, and Michael, 32, drank from the same cup to symbolize the sharing of their life together.

In many ways, it looked like a typical Jewish wedding ceremony. Yet neither bride nor groom is Jewish.

The inclusion of so many Jewish traditions in the ceremony uniting Melanie, raised Episcopalian, and Michael, raised Catholic, was their way of making their wedding special, they said.

A Jewish wedding was “a refreshing departure from what everybody that is close to us is used to,” Melanie said.

read the rest here: http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifest...vYN_story.html

your thoughts?

[DeltaBetaBaby]

I'm not opposed to stealing traditions if you feel they can have meaning for you. Doing it because they look pretty and will impress your friends, though...well, that's a bit tackier.

So, like, "We want a chuppah because we love the symbolism of our friends and family supporting us in our marriage" is cool. "We want a chuppah because it's a cool decoration" is not cool.

[Mevara]

As the article states

What had begun as a question about room decorations had evolved into a way to incorporate meaningful symbols into their wedding and create a more community-centric ceremony.

I think as long as you do it out of respect and good taste it is okay.

[Munchkin03]

The groom, despite being Catholic, is an AEPi. And, from reading the article, they weren't entirely ignorant of Jewish customs and the symbolism behind them. I think that makes all the difference.

It seems that everyone's looking for something to make their wedding "different" or "quirky," and is this part of this? Will Irish-Catholic couples start doing henna because it's "different and exotic," without fully understanding the meaning?

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

The groom, despite being Catholic, is an AEPi. And, from reading the article, they weren't entirely ignorant of Jewish customs and the symbolism behind them. I think that makes all the difference.

It really rubs me the wrong way that the idea came from someone else having a pretty Chuppah, and the bride not knowing what else to put in that space.

[Munchkin03]

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

It really rubs me the wrong way that the idea came from someone else having a pretty Chuppah, and the bride not knowing what else to put in that space.

Oh, no...I totally agree with that. It does sound like, even though that was the initial impetus, they did it fairly respectfully.

Like I said before, people these days are all about having a "different" or "quirky" wedding--and what point does that become aping someone else's culture for ishts and grins? These people did it okay...but it's a thin line.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

The groom, despite being Catholic, is an AEPi. And, from reading the article, they weren't entirely ignorant of Jewish customs and the symbolism behind them. I think that makes all the difference.

It seems that everyone's looking for something to make their wedding "different" or "quirky," and is this part of this? Will Irish-Catholic couples start doing henna because it's "different and exotic," without fully understanding the meaning?

I've seen brides on wedding blogs who had henna or wore saris on their wedding day because they wanted to be "quirky and different." True story.

I'm all about your wedding day being a reflection of the couple, but different for the sake of being different is really dumb.

Ex: totally not culturally specific, but the whole stupid mustache thing (google mustaches and weddings if you should be so lucky as to not know any hipsters who were really into this). Quirky for the sake of quirky. And dumb.

[PM_Mama00]

Originally Posted by PhoenixAzul

I guess I just don't understand...

I mean, I don't think I'd be happy if someone had a Catholic wedding because they thought the mass was "pretty" or because they liked the church for their pictures (not that that would happen...meetings with the priest, pre cana, the fact that Catholics consider marriage as a sacrament in the vein of taking holy orders, etc).

I'd just be totally weirded out by it, like I was pretending to be something I wasn't.

We don't have to worry about anyone non-Catholic wanting a Catholic wedding. The "stand up sit down" scares them away

[Mevara]

Originally Posted by PM_Mama00

We don't have to worry about anyone non-Catholic wanting a Catholic wedding. The "stand up sit down" scares them away

I think it would be just the length of the mass that is associated with it... The first time I went to a non-Catholic wedding it was done in 15 mins. I was so not prepared for that and had to turn to my mom and ask if that was it.

[Munchkin03]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

I've seen brides on wedding blogs who had henna or wore saris on their wedding day because they wanted to be "quirky and different." True story.

I'm all about your wedding day being a reflection of the couple, but different for the sake of being different is really dumb.

Ex: totally not culturally specific, but the whole stupid mustache thing (google mustaches and weddings if you should be so lucky as to not know any hipsters who were really into this). Quirky for the sake of quirky. And dumb.

People rock the mustaches at weddings? That is effing lame. I've seen it in engagement photos and just parties in general. Someone should tell those wannabe hipsters that isht was over in 2009.

I don't know why people are so afraid of traditional weddings. Obviously people can do whatever they want, but at that point, it seems like it's less what people really want, and it's more of what will seem "quirky" or "different.

The wedding I went to last weekend (a Jewish wedding that consisted of two Jewish people!!!) was very traditional in religious, cultural (reflecting their backgrounds) and wedding terms. It was "different" because it was traditional, LOL.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

People rock the mustaches at weddings? That is effing lame. I've seen it in engagement photos and just parties in general. Someone should tell those wannabe hipsters that isht was over in 2009.

Yes. I just saw a mustache cake topper + mustache props for the photo booth. Lamesauce.

They are in AL though and trends tend to move slowly down there. I live in a hipster-y kind of area so we've been over the mustache thing since as long as you have. lol.

[amIblue?]

I just think it's weird.

To me, weddings are about making a covenant with your spouse and God, and it's the appropriate time for the traditions of your family and faith, not to do something just to be different. There is significant meaning behind the traditions of other cultures, and it's not anyone's place to co-opt those willy nilly just for kicks.

Despite my grouchy opinion about sticking with what you know, I do think that other faiths and cultures have beautiful wedding traditions.

[PhoenixAzul]

I guess I just don't understand...

I mean, I don't think I'd be happy if someone had a Catholic wedding because they thought the mass was "pretty" or because they liked the church for their pictures (not that that would happen...meetings with the priest, pre cana, the fact that Catholics consider marriage as a sacrament in the vein of taking holy orders, etc).

I'd just be totally weirded out by it, like I was pretending to be something I wasn't.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Have any of you been inside Old St. Pat's in Chicago? It is so pretty, I told the tour guide I wanted to get married there!

[ellebud]

I understand both sides: A canopy signifies things that could go across religious lines. Tasting the wine...sweetness of life...again can cut across all religions. Breaking the glass: may your wedding last as long as it takes to put together this glass.....again wonderful spirit.

But, as my non Jewish husband says about the Christmas Chanukah debate: A Christian family celebrating Chanukah as an excuse for presents: wrong. Jewish families having a Christmas tree for the decor.....not so much.

Just saying....But it is wonderful to understand and respect the traditions of others. And, who knows how religions evolve?