Things That I'm Sick To Death of Hearing...

[christiangirl]

Originally Posted by aephi alum

"Wouldn't it be nice if your grandmother [i.e. her mother] could be a great-grandmother before she DIES!!!!!"

A few days ago, my mom said something like "I hope I live long enough to see you have children." This was the first time she has EVER said something like that to me--she usually tells me not to rush, just finish school and I'll have plenty of time for that later. I liked those comments much better and I'm hoping she goes back to those.

When my pastor's wife said they were thinking about adopting, we were all over the moon for them. A child is a child. I get why some don't want to adopt but it's hard to believe they would try to discourage others from giving a child a caring home.

[GeorgiaGreek]

I'm so thankful that my mother has never put pressure on me to want to have kids. She has openly said she would love grandchildren (and she can't see a baby in public without trying to play with it), but has made it clear that it matters more that I'm happy than that I have children. I don't have siblings, so I'd be her only shot at grandkids, and I really do want to have a family someday (not yet, I'm still in undergrad), but I'm just very lucky I've never felt obligated or pressured to want kids because she wants me to have them. And, I know that if I chose to adopt, she would be exactly as thrilled as if I had kids myself.

We have a family friend who didn't get married for the first time until a little later than typical, almost 40, and she and her husband decided to adopt, for one reason or another. The ended up adopting 3 sisters who were between 5 and 9 from a VERY messed up family life/foster situation, and it changed all of their lives for the better. Anyone who could look down upon them for doing that instead of having a kid of their own, if it was even possible for them, is a selfish, shallow fool. I'm extremely supportive of adoption, despite it's drawbacks, and still having trouble wrapping my brain around people who can't support other people doing it, even if they can't/won't do it themselves

[carnation]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Also, when I tell people I may consider adopting an older kid or teen at some point:

"But why would you want someone ELSE'S kid?"
"I could never love a kid that I didn't actually give birth to."
"But why would you want to miss out on the birth experience?"

Motherhood comes in many forms. To insist that a child "is not yours" because they're adopted is really offensive. Also, not everyone wants "the baby experience."

This is one of my don't-get-me-starteds. As many of you know, five of ours are transracially adopted. From the moment they came in the door, they were (are) OURS and we didn't divide them into the adopteds versus the non-adopteds.

People of all races had something to say, most good, but some not. These were people we didn't know, like strangers in malls. I will never figure out why they thought they had the right to comment.

I so love my now-adult babies.

[aggieAXO]

Originally Posted by ADPi95

Thanks for the all the responses (too many to quote)...made me smile! I usually respond with: "I don't have kids because I like to sleep in." And, "We got married because neither of us wanted kids!"

Kids are great...just not for me

I usually just go into my "the world is overpopulated speech" and that shuts people up real quick.

[aggieAXO]

Originally Posted by aephi alum

At least my nutcase MIL waited until we were actually married. Granted, she waited for approximately five milliseconds. The ink wasn't even dry on the ketubah when she said, "Wouldn't it be nice if your grandmother [i.e. her mother] could be a great-grandmother before she DIES!!!!!" As if GMIL had one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel. (GMIL passed away earlier this year. She lived to see our 13th anniversary, and she did ultimately get her great-grandchild, in the form of our cat. Her other grandchild, DH's first cousin, is childfree, as am I.)

I have 3 brothers and only one has kids. The rest of us are happily childless.

[pshsx1]

Originally Posted by ree-Xi

"This is Rachel from Cardholder Services."

Originally Posted by TPA85

#TeamOxfordComma.

Originally Posted by SWTXBelle

"If you vote for a third party candidate you are throwing away your vote."

Or as some of my Facebook friends kept saying: "IF YOU'RE NOT VOTING THIRD PARTY, YOU'RE NOT EDUCATING AND THROWING AWAY OUR COUNTRY." Okay, friends.

Also, "Internet Explorer 9 is beautifully fast!" Microsoft, leave me alone.

[honeychile]

Hint to those who don't plan to have children: start using the phrase "Child-Free". You're not childless, you're childfree. YOU know it's a state of mind, educate those who think you need to get up for 2am feedings, too!

[aephi alum]

Originally Posted by honeychile

Hint to those who don't plan to have children: start using the phrase "Child-Free". You're not childless, you're childfree. YOU know it's a state of mind, educate those who think you need to get up for 2am feedings, too!

Absofragginlutely.

In the childfree community, "childless" indicates that you want to have children at some point, but something is standing in your way - you don't have a husband/wife/committed partner yet, or you want to get your finances in order before having children, or you're attempting IVF or IUI and haven't succeeded yet, or you want to adopt a child but there's a holdup in the process, etc. "Childfree" means "I don't want children, not now, not ever."

As for me, I am quite content with my husband and my cat.

[Psi U MC Vito]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

"But why would you want to miss out on the birth experience?"

Not sure if anybody commented on this, but there are people who actually want to go through the birth experience? I can't imagine being miserable for months and not having control of my own body and then hours of excruciating pain. Then again I'm a man and will never have to go through it myself.

[aephi alum]

Originally Posted by Psi U MC Vito

Not sure if anybody commented on this, but there are people who actually want to go through the birth experience? I can't imagine being miserable for months and not having control of my own body and then hours of excruciating pain. Then again I'm a man and will never have to go through it myself.

But... but... but then you're missing out on the birth experience! It doesn't matter if you're a man! Go have a sex change and have a baby!

[PGD-GRAD]

. . . .that President Obama is a Muslim, Socialist, Communist, Kenyan, _______ or just fill in the blank. I can't believe the hysteria that still consumes many folks. The election is over--so get the hell OVER IT!

My sister sent me a "prayer" she printed from someone who had sent it to her on Facebook. She has since 'de-friended" this person. It went on and on about how God let the nation down during the election, and gave us a "tribulation" that we must be strong enough to oppose. Really? Wow! There were pages of people who LIKED this prayer and offered their own takes on the election. One lady said she had been "crying and praying" since the election.

So have I--for the fractured country we have become and for the President and all our leaders to be able to achieve goodness and peace in spite of all the ill wishes from hysterical nincompoops. And yes--I DO KNOW it's their right to launch opposition. Just turn your anguist and prayer against our enemies for toward our leaders.

[happilyanchored]

"I'm so sorry, you really did deserve it and I'm sorry people couldn't see that"

Grumble grumble go away everyone, your pity won't change anything.

[ree-Xi]

Originally Posted by DubaiSis

When it comes to babies, people say the most horrible things. I think I was let off the hook about a lot of this because 1-I got married old and 2-my husband has MS and people assume it's hereditary (it's not). I love little kids but I really didn't want the responsibility and don't regret my decision. However, as I'm getting older, I'm wishing I had grand kids in my future.

I hear you on this one!!! I still have relatives who ask me when we're having kids when they know it's just not possible for me, and after I explain it again, tell me, "well you can always adopt!"

How is someone supposed to respond to that statement? No, I can't adopt because nobody in their right mind would give a kid to someone so sick. Not to mention that I'm TOO SICK to take care of a baby/child.

People don't realize how much this kind of conversation hurts. Sigh.

[KSUViolet06]

"Do you know how many calories/grams of fat/animal products/grains/ glutens/dairy products/*insert thing du jour that people say we shouldn't be eating here* are in that?

There is someone I know (who is vegan) who does that constantly. My next response is going to be "not nearly as many as it must have taken you to get that muffin top."

[txAOII_15]

^^^ Along those lines, are you aware that the *insert animal product I'm eating* isn't certified organic, is full of preservatives, etc.?

Yes, and I still think it is delicious.