This is right on time! I want to pimp-slap:
*Both my sisters: the youngest one for being a smart azz who talks to me likes she's grown (she's a good girl but she's only 16 and I do WAY too much for her spoiled lil behind for her to talk to me the way she does sometimes) and the other just b/c if I slap one I gotta slap the other...also add my lil cousin too...
*The guy I like for being a stoopid azz and giving me mixed signals (that boy knows he wants me and he's playing games). I ain't got time for this isht!
*My roommate
for being her sloppy triflin azz beotch self (believe you me, she deserves it almost as much as W. Bush)...I'd get her w/ the Pimp Stick! Also, my crazy next door neighbor who says he can "hear EVERYTHING we do" in our apt and that we disturb his sleep but he has an extra bedroom (but we aren't loud and are rarely home)--go sleep in there!!!!!!!!!
*The real "Axis of Evil": Dubbya Bush, Bush Sr., Jeb Bush, Dick Cheney, Don Rumsfeld...also add Condoleeza and Colin for thinking that "they" really care about "us"
*Add Condoleeza Rice's Momma for naming her DAYUM chile "Condoleeza"! " Woman, WTF were you tripping on?
*Saddam's azz for not stepping down and leaving Iraq (you shoulda followed Osama...you see know one knows where he is...)
*My evil cat, always hissing at folx and growling like she's a dog...That heffa needs some Prozac!
*The dumbazz Guatamalan lady sitting next to my Mom on her flight. The Heffa had the nerve to take up all 3 seats knowing she only paid for 2 w/ her child and mother, acting like she don't speak English. My Mom held up the line telling her to move! Then she had the audacity to take my Mom's seat again during the layover!
She get's 5 slaps and an uppercut to the jaw!!!
* All of the a-hole Professors I've ever had!
*Bank of America, dayum they're almost as bad as the IRS--fee for this, fee for that!
*I would say my ex but he'd confuse it for me wanting his loser good-for-nothing (literally) self back...
*My lil sister's high school guidance counselor. Why when my Mom and I had my sister change schools closer to where I live, the dumb lady enrolled my sister in a class she already took? She gets 2 back-handed slaps.
*My good friend who's one major flaw is that she thinks she's always right and when she's wrong will say "Well, yeah but blah blah blah" like she wasn't wrong! Heffa!
*Every guy on the street that tells me (and all women for that matter) to "Smile!" You smile! Better yet, just go away! Add another slap if the guy gets an attitude w/ ME b/c I don't smile or want his phone number.
*Whoever was the person that complained to the Department that one of my classes Fall quarter was too easy! Duh, fool, we take classes w/ her b/c she's an easy Professor and to boost our gpa. If you want to "learn" take another class!
*The coach of the men's basketball team at my school--that's why he's getting fired! I hate to be mean but he sucks.
*NBA players: Shaq (sorry Steetrap)--his attitude SUCKS! He thinks he is God or something, talking about all the other centers in the NBA are losers--you have other centers on your team, fool! He gets a hit w/ a bat! Add to that Ray Allen (it was never no conspiracy against yo azz), and Tim Duncan (he always looks so confused--maybe a slap would knock some sense into him)...
*Colorado's fans for thinking they were gonna beat Duke last week...Don't ever start cheering like that when there's 5 minutes left! And you lost!!!
*My cable company for doing all this dayum drilling and stuff waking me up at 6am when I ain't got class!
All of these dayum rappers talking about their bling-bling, cars, and how many times they got shot in the face! Also, everyone who thinks 50 Cent is the next Tupac, and anyone who thinks that Eminem is America's tightest MC! Never that! How about Mos Def, Nas, or someone else who raps about more than their momma and baby's momma?!
*All these singers and entertainers who think they are mobsters: Mr. Biggs (I love the Isly Bros but he needs to sit his old azz down somewhere), the whole Murder Inc. clan, etc.
*Anyone who still continues to work w/ or support R. Kelly (again, Ron Isely). They get the a lemon-juiced, extra salty Pimp Stick!
*Anybody's who still gang-banging (you don't own that corner you're standing on! At least real mobsters own isht).
*And don't get me started on the numerous celebrities who need to be slapped: Whitney (Crack IS Wack!), Bobby (you ain't no King of R&B....King of Moochers or Weed-Smokers maybe)...
Sorry y'all...I know this is long but a sista had to vent!
She is always telling me things will be different once I'm in my own classroom teaching instead of doing volunteer work and getting observation hours.
A plethora of pimp slaps
). WHY!! I hate the fact that I cannot eat any Popeyes or my mom's cabbage greens with hamhock and cornbread or anything else good!! I used to be a nice person until I started dieting.
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