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Welcome to our newest member, MysteryMuse |
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08-12-2007, 09:35 AM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 30
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AGDee
Bottom line: It isn't that there aren't enough spots for all the women. The way quota is determined creates spots for all the women going through. Whether they can get into what they consider "THE sorority" is another story...
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This isn't exactly true. Quota is determined on how many women go to pref, not how many women sign up for recruitment. Generally there AREN'T enough spots for everyone and there are several women who just fall through the cracks not because they aren't maximizing their options but because, for whatever reason, they didn't stand out.
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08-12-2007, 09:41 AM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Michigan
Posts: 15,597
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Regina Filangie
This isn't exactly true. Quota is determined on how many women go to pref, not how many women sign up for recruitment. Generally there AREN'T enough spots for everyone and there are several women who just fall through the cracks.
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Yes, but if all the women maximized their options through preference, there would be enough spots. While we occasionally hear of someone being cut from all groups, we more frequently hear about women who didn't get invites to A, B, or C and therefore, drop out of recruitment of their own volition.
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08-12-2007, 10:13 AM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Georgia
Posts: 181
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We Just Can't Know Why.....
Do not beat yourself up wondering why your daughter was cut from her favorites or isn't receiving bids from many sororities! There is no way to know why things turn out the way they do. Yes, the truth is that many ofthe girls who will get bids are not valedictorian, homecoming, honor society go getters. But they were the ones who were able to make the most of their 20 minutes of facetime with each house. There are some girls who are naturally good at this and others who struggle with it. For a lot of girls, this is not the optimum atmosphere to showcase their personality. The sorority girls have seen many of these girls on paper via recomendations and rush applications. When they get a chance to see them in person it is up to the girl to make the most of that brief time. Some can do it and some can't. It doesn't mean that one girl is better than the other it just means that she was more comfortable in the rush situation than the other girl. As parents we would do anything to ensure our childs happiness and well being and your feelings are totally understandable. Please keep us posted on what your daughter's or sister's choices are, I truly wish them every happiness!
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08-12-2007, 10:20 AM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: TN
Posts: 7,476
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Hmmmm...I'm thinking about skipping church to await AuburnMom's post.
Nahh...I'll check back later!
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08-12-2007, 10:23 AM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 10
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Dropped
My daughter got dropped from sorority recruitment. I really just don't understand what the heck is going on down there. I am very very sick and mad and upset about this. She says she doesn't know what she did wrong. She said it isn't any big deal. I said maybe that is what is wrong she didn't try her best and take this seriously enough. I am starting to wonder if she even belongs at Auburn.
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08-12-2007, 10:28 AM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Old South
Posts: 2,938
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AGDee
The reality is, there are enough spots for every woman who goes through recruitment if the women are willing to join any chapter. The stories we're hearing here aren't that women are cut from every chapter, but that they are upset after getting cut from their favorites or their legacy chapter....Bottom line: It isn't that there aren't enough spots for all the women. The way quota is determined creates spots for all the women going through. Whether they can get into what they consider "THE sorority" is another story...
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EXACTLY. Words of wisdom.
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08-12-2007, 10:30 AM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Santa Monica/Beverly Hills
Posts: 8,634
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Momto2gals
My daughter got dropped from sorority recruitment. I really just don't understand what the heck is going on down there. I am very very sick and mad and upset about this. She says she doesn't know what she did wrong. She said it isn't any big deal. I said maybe that is what is wrong she didn't try her best and take this seriously enough. I am starting to wonder if she even belongs at Auburn.
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Tell your daughter she did NOTHING wrong. She sounds like a wonderful woman with so much to offer. The only problem is the recruitment system! It is nearly impossible to expect 1600 amazing women to all be remembered and stand out to 16 groups. Try remembering more than 100 women...by name, activities, personality. Try remembering them when you maybe get to meet 2 of those women for twenty minutes. Try convincing 221 of your other sisters that your rushee is perfect when you're the only one who met her. Then multiply that by 16. It's a horrible situation. I am so sorry that things didn't work out for your daughter, but tell her that if she really wants to join Greek life, try COB. You never know what may happen. If one of the sororities is lucky, they'll pledge her.
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08-12-2007, 10:31 AM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 63
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Auburn is a great school - sure it's not 'Harvard' but what is, Harvard??
Second, yes, recruitment is competitive but it isn't everything. There's a reason your daughter chose Auburn. It's a school. It's a spirit. There's no campus on earth like it. Greek life is not the end all be all at Auburn. There are a ton other ways to be involved on campus. I had just as many friends that were independent as greek. I know it's a tough time but don't let it get your daughter down. It will be tough but she'll weather it. War Eagle!!!!
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08-12-2007, 10:35 AM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Old South
Posts: 2,938
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Momto2gals
My daughter got dropped from sorority recruitment. I really just don't understand what the heck is going on down there. I am very very sick and mad and upset about this. She says she doesn't know what she did wrong. She said it isn't any big deal. I said maybe that is what is wrong she didn't try her best and take this seriously enough. I am starting to wonder if she even belongs at Auburn.
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Oh Momto2gals, I'm so sorry. I know how you feel. My daughter was dropped, too, when she went through.
She had good friends in one group, though, and when they had a few spaces to fill, they pulled her in.
Then after her first recruitment on the sorority side, she found out they had to cut MANY girls just to get down to the number they were allowed to invite back. There got to be no real rhyme or reason why they cut, they just had to limit who they invited back.
The good thing about Auburn - and I had children at both Auburn AND at Alabama at the same time - is that although sororities are a kind of big deal, they really are less at Auburn than at Alabama and other SEC schools. Plenty of girls make it "big on campus" without being in a sorority.
I know that after 24 hours, it was WAY less of a big deal to daughter than it was to me. By the time she was asked to join, it was nice, but there were other things to do, too.
Last edited by AnchorAlumna; 08-12-2007 at 01:37 PM.
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08-12-2007, 10:46 AM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: My heart & mind is in Hawaii
Posts: 281
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Momto2gals
She said it isn't any big deal. I said maybe that is what is wrong she didn't try her best and take this seriously enough. I am starting to wonder if she even belongs at Auburn.
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Correct me if I am reading this worng, but you actually said that to your daughter? It seems as if you are more interested in her being in a sorority than she is.
You are starting to wonder if she belongs at Auburn? Because she didn't get a bid? You've got to be kidding me? The last time I checked, I thought that we went to college to get an education. To question whether you belong at a college based on if you get a bid or not, shows a SERIOUS set of whacked out priorities or an obvious lack in faith in your daughter that she can find a niche on her own in a non greek organization.
I feel sorry for your daughter, but not just for getting cut from rush, but having to listen to comments like this from her own mom...
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Last edited by FloridaTish; 08-12-2007 at 11:00 AM.
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08-12-2007, 10:46 AM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: A state with a North-South identity crisis
Posts: 3,196
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Momto2gals
I believe that Auburn needs more sororities so that more girls will get a chance to join. What is y'alls feelings on that?
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Like AGDee has said, the way quota is determined, there are enough spots for every PNM as long as she is willing to join any chapter. However, a PNM must attend preference. If the number of women being cross-released (meaning PNMs cut from all chapters, not ones who drop out on their own because they were unhappy with their choices) before preference is high, then extension may be an option. Then again, one must look at the makeup of PNMs being cross-released. If 75% of those cross released are grade risks, then that's why they were cut and there would be no extending.
One must also think about how an established Greek community will treat a new chapter. Many PNMs are looking to join the "best" (read: old, established, traditional) chapter and may not give a new chapter a chance. Because quota would decrease (unless more PNMs sign up) the top chapters would take fewer new members, and recruitment could become more competitive.
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08-12-2007, 10:54 AM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Land of Chaos
Posts: 9,256
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No one likes geting cut . . .
Momto2gals - I am truly sorry at the way things went for your daughter. But these boards are full of stories of heartbreak that turned to joy - either through informal recruitment, involvement in other activities, or any other way of finding your place on campus.
It's tough - but your daughter may well learn a great deal about handling rejection (which, let's face it, we all have to do) with grace and then moving on to the next thing.
I hope she will go through informal recruitment - if she does, be sure and let us know what happens!
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Courtesy is owed, respect is earned, love is given.
Proud daughter AND mother of a Gamma Phi. 3 generations of love, labor, learning and loyalty.
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08-12-2007, 11:27 AM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Puget Sound, WA
Posts: 4,288
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AGDee
This has been discussed a lot about Ole Miss and Alabama on this board, who rival Auburn in the "competitive" category. The reality is, there are enough spots for every woman who goes through recruitment if the women are willing to join any chapter. The stories we're hearing here aren't that women are cut from every chapter, but that they are upset after getting cut from their favorites or their legacy chapter. The addition of a new group doesn't prevent this. In fact, if you take the same number of PNMs and divide them among one additional group, that means that the most popular groups can take FEWER women. Many of the women going into recruitment at these schools ONLY want to be in what is considered the "top tier" sororities. You'll hear them talk about "old row" chapters being most desirable and being unwilling to join any other chapter. They also tend to look down on the smallest chapter as being undesirable. Yet, if that smallest chapter (at any school, really) took quota, the whole face of the chapter can change with that new member class.
Bottom line: It isn't that there aren't enough spots for all the women. The way quota is determined creates spots for all the women going through. Whether they can get into what they consider "THE sorority" is another story...
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Exactly. Sometimes I think it's the PNM's who are shallow and superficial and not the recruitment process........
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08-12-2007, 11:29 AM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Puget Sound, WA
Posts: 4,288
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Momto2gals
My daughter got dropped from sorority recruitment. I really just don't understand what the heck is going on down there. I am very very sick and mad and upset about this. She says she doesn't know what she did wrong. She said it isn't any big deal. I said maybe that is what is wrong she didn't try her best and take this seriously enough. I am starting to wonder if she even belongs at Auburn.
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Just a little reminder........It's HER life not yours. Let her do what she wants and be happy for her.
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Founded Upon a Rock....
Connect. Impact. Shine
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08-12-2007, 11:38 AM
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Super Moderator
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Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 14,025
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SmartBlondeGPhB
Exactly. Sometimes I think it's the PNM's who are shallow and superficial and not the recruitment process........
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But you know, a lot of it is in who cuts you when. Let's say that a PNM gets asked back to 15 sororities after first parties and has to choose 12. She cuts M, N, and O. She doesn't know the groups too well yet but would have been comfortable in all 15. Then the big cuts come after second parties and she's suddenly down from 12 groups to 5 or 6. Later she's released from rush. She might have fit in wonderfully with M, N, and O and they were great chapters, nothing "wrong" with them. It was just a luck of the draw thing.
This is why I maintain that in a big recruitment, the girls who get cut more heavily after first parties often end up with more options later than those whose heavy cuts come after second parties. A lot of times, the showier sororities might keep a girl until after second parties because she's a legacy or because she has good recs but they don't intend to pledge her. Then they cut her and she can't go back to the groups she cut earlier.
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