My Sorority Pledge? I Swore Off Sisterhood

[kathykd2005]

Originally Posted by James

Was she actually initiated when she was forced out or a pledge? I got the impression the frat guy was a pledge.

It seems to me that she must have been a pledge. I don't know of too many sisterhoods that would just throw her out. However, I don't know of when pledges or new members as we call them now, would be living in the house... The whole story is a bit weird. I don't know what sisterhood it was, so I have no idea of what their rules are or were.

[carnation]

Originally Posted by kathykd2005

It seems to me that she must have been a pledge. I don't know of too many sisterhoods that would just throw her out. However, I don't know of when pledges or new members as we call them now, would be living in the house... The whole story is a bit weird. I don't know what sisterhood it was, so I have no idea of what their rules are or were.

A lot of schools had bed rush back in the day--each sorority's quota was the number of beds available in the house for new members--and the pledges moved right into the house after rush.

[kathykd2005]

Originally Posted by carnation

A lot of schools had bed rush back in the day--each sorority's quota was the number of beds available in the house for new members--and the pledges moved right into the house after rush.

Thank you Carnation!

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by carnation

A lot of schools had bed rush back in the day--each sorority's quota was the number of beds available in the house for new members--and the pledges moved right into the house after rush.

How long were pledge periods? She mentions that it was two months before the "ledge" incident happened, and then a few weeks later when she was put on probation.

[EEKappa]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

How long were pledge periods? She mentions that it was two months before the "ledge" incident happened, and then a few weeks later when she was put on probation.

In the 80's pledge periods were almost a semester long. I pledged in September and initiated in February.

[kathykd2005]

Originally Posted by EEKappa

In the 80's pledge periods were almost a semester long. I pledged in September and initiated in February.

WOW! That's such a long time!!!

[EEKappa]

Originally Posted by kathykd2005

WOW! That's such a long time!!!

LOL! When the pledge period was shortened to six weeks, we were all saying "That is no where near long enough! How are they supposed to learn enough to initiate?" And now it seems like it's just fine.

[MaryAmanda]

Originally Posted by EEKappa

LOL! When the pledge period was shortened to six weeks, we were all saying "That is no where near long enough! How are they supposed to learn enough to initiate?" And now it seems like it's just fine.

Wow...for both OPA and Coyote, the pledge/new member period is about 3 months. (And OPA pledges are NOT allowed to wear letters--so I had to wait 3 months to wear any t-shirt with the Greek letters printed at all!)

[jitterbug13]

^^^
Really? When I pledged OPA, I wore printed letters, but not sewn-in letters. If a pledge was to drop out, they were suppose to give the printed shirts back. Of course, I couldn't wear any letters at all with DST.

[TSteven]

Originally Posted by dukedg

Is anyone else on here from the Bay Area? The author lives in the same TINY town in the Bay Area as my parents, so I immediately asked my mom if she knew her (she does not).

Anyway, Piedmont has a very small-town vibe and I feel that this story may/will haunt this woman and her daughters in the town (and their schools) for many years to come. I was wondering if anyone else on here familiar with the Bay Area had thoughts on this.

I am and also wondered how many people might know her.

However, I never felt it might be an issue for her or her daughters. To me, her article seemed more like a personal confession of sorts. Perhaps a first and important step in her healing process. As the saying goes, admitting you have a problem is half the battle. In any case, I would hope that she had the sense to set down with her daughters, her family, and her friends and let them know that the article was going to be published. And perhaps include in their discussion her reasons why she felt she needed to "go public" as it were.

[UGAalum94]

I confess that I didn't read all five pages of posts, and this might have been noted already, but I think her story just points out that we ought to be really careful with any "standards" issue stories.

She was date raped and abandoned by people who should have been her friends.

But how many of her "sisters" were told that she was making the group look bad because she was having sex in public at fraternity parties? I mean told about it in a way that made it seem she elected to do it? Who knows?

It seems especially sad to me that she, like many others, seems eager to believe that her experience is representative of Greek life when it sure as seems unlike anything I ever experienced.

I know that I heard stories about fraternities doing stuff like that*, but since I was never much for hanging out at fraternity houses, I never actual knew of any specific instances of it happening. And I never heard of anyone being kicked out of a group based on any one or two instances of misbehavior, particularly without some investigation of events by committees involving advisers, who probably wouldn't have blamed the victim of a sexual assault, but maybe I'm too optimistic.

*These were FOAF stories with not specific victim or perpetrator mentioned. It's not like I could have even tried to encourage the girl to report it or anything.

[Low C Sharp]

IMHO, we ought to tread carefully before we judge what a rape survivor ought to feel when suddenly confronted with a reminder of the assault. I agree that if the attack is still affecting her daily life, then it's smart to seek help for that, but plenty of people seek help and still experience intrusive feelings about the trauma. A horror like that is not curable. Different people will recover at different speeds, and carry different permanent scars. Whatever her feelings may be twenty years later, they are valid, and saying that she ought to "get past it" and "move on" -- like that's just a choice -- is quite dismissive of her trauma and its consequences.

seems eager to believe that her experience is representative of Greek life

Aren't you eager to believe that your positive experience is representative?
________
FreshBerry

[33girl]

Originally Posted by Low C Sharp

IMHO, we ought to tread carefully before we judge what a rape survivor ought to feel when suddenly confronted with a reminder of the assault. I agree that if the attack is still affecting her daily life, then it's smart to seek help for that, but plenty of people seek help and still experience intrusive feelings about the trauma. A horror like that is not curable. Different people will recover at different speeds, and carry different permanent scars. Whatever her feelings may be twenty years later, they are valid, and saying that she ought to "get past it" and "move on" -- like that's just a choice -- is quite dismissive of her trauma and its consequences.

Aren't you eager to believe that your positive experience is representative?

As for your last sentence, I believe it's human nature to believe ANY positive experience is representative, unless you get some sort of perverse joy from doing the opposite. If you go to CVS all the time and normally have no problem except for ONE day a clerk isn't the nicest, that's hardly reason for you to say that all CVSs are horrid, unless you get off on putting things and people down.

We aren't saying she needs to "get past it" just because she freaked out in Gymboree when she saw an ex-sister. It's understandable that an encounter like that would unnerve her. This woman cannot be around ANY LARGE GROUP OF WOMEN without feeling trauma. That isn't a typical experience of a rape survivor. She has 2 small children, and she really needs to get help before she implants the mindset in them that other women can't be trusted. They don't deserve to suffer because of her experience.

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by 33girl

She has 2 small children, and she really needs to get help before she implants the mindset in them that other women can't be trusted. They don't deserve to suffer because of her experience.

Not only that - they're both little girls. A boy might not transfer that emotion like these little girls will.

[ree-Xi]

Originally Posted by kathykd2005

WOW! That's such a long time!!!

Yep, me too. We were pinned the first week of February, and initiation was after the first week of the following semester. Of course, in my case, initiation (to AXiD) will be 18 years later!