Are we open to women with children?

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by cuteASAbug

If you can terminate a girl for consistently not paying her dues, why can't you terminate someone for consistently not attending mandatory events?

Because not every organization operates like that, which is why I asked the question.

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

"Terminate membership" to me meant expelling her after she's been initiated.

I think many if not most orgs DO have some sort of process for termination after initiation (I know ASA does, simply because there are some bylaws that have termination as the consequence for breaking them), but I think many would also go as far as offering early alum status, rather than full termination for something such as not paying dues or not attending mandatory events.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

Thanks for the clarification.

"Terminate membership" to me meant expelling her after she's been initiated.

I think you're referring to AlphaFrog's post. She was saying that if the member didn't fulfill requirements as far as showing up to things, she would have no problem expelling her after initiation - not because she has kids, but because she isn't doing things that are mandatory of all members.

We've ALL had members who are perfect angels during pledgeship and then after initiation go all 666. I, too, would have no problem terminating the woman who before initiation showed up to every event with no excuses and then after initiation everything was "I can't come, little Mudflap stubbed his toe."

[Cane94G8r97]

Originally Posted by 33girl

We've ALL had members who are perfect angels during pledgeship and then after initiation go all 666."

Hilarious visual!!

[33girl]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

I think many if not most orgs DO have some sort of process for termination after initiation (I know ASA does, simply because there are some bylaws that have termination as the consequence for breaking them), but I think many would also go as far as offering early alum status, rather than full termination for something such as not paying dues or not attending mandatory events.

Just because she has kids? Feh. If she doesn't go to things and doesn't pay up and she's going to be in college a while longer, get her off your rolls. She's dead weight. She's taking up a space that could be filled by a committed, involved sister.

We offer (not force) alum status if you GET pregnant. If it's a pre-existing condition when you join, you can't use it as a bargaining chip to get away with doing less.

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

I think many if not most orgs DO have some sort of process for termination after initiation (I know ASA does, simply because there are some bylaws that have termination as the consequence for breaking them), but I think many would also go as far as offering early alum status, rather than full termination for something such as not paying dues or not attending mandatory events.

Of course we all do. But not because a woman with a child can't be active that semester or can't find a babysitter during "important" sorority meetings and events. Being inactive in a chapter for whatever reason doesn't equate to being de-initiated for every organization.

Early alum status sounds better. But I was replying to a post about termination.

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by 33girl

I think you're referring to AlphaFrog's post. She was saying that if the member didn't fulfill requirements as far as showing up to things, she would have no problem expelling her after initiation - not because she has kids, but because she isn't doing things that are mandatory of all members.

Right.

And not every organization expels people for being inactive for a period of time. In many cases the person is just an inactive member who can reinstate their membership during their collegiate years or upon graduation. Expulsion may mean something different to me than it means to you all.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

Of course we all do. But not because a woman with a child can't be active that semester or can't find a babysitter during "important" sorority meetings and events. Being inactive in a chapter for whatever reason doesn't equate to being de-initiated for every organization.

We used to be a lot more lenient about giving "inactive" status to sisters for a variety of reasons for a limited period of time (i.e., for things like having a giant amount of credits in a semester). Not so much anymore. I'm guessing most NPCs are like that.

Special status is usually something unforeseen (i.e. you lose your income source, you had the Enron scholarship etc) and there's often a "professional" status for things like student teaching. Every group's policy is a little bit different. The point is these statuses are for things that are beyond your control.

[Drolefille]

A lot of it comes back to the $$ and the housing issues.

Without those dues, you may lose your house.

[honeychile]

Originally Posted by Drolefille

A lot of it comes back to the $$ and the housing issues.

Without those dues, you may lose your house.

Bingo.

And without attendance, your GLO stands to lose face.

[sarasmile]

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

Thanks for the clarification.

"Terminate membership" to me meant expelling her after she's been initiated.

I can only speak specifically for my NPC group, but you can definitely be terminated if your attendance is a problem and/or you stop paying dues. And it is an actual termination - your name is crossed out in the chapter's roll you signed at initation and everything.

Its not an "early alum" status for not being able to pay your dues - its a removal, period.

Later in life, you can apply for reinstatement, but I don't know what's involved in that process...I don't personally know anyone who has done it.

(Of course, if sisters are having trouble paying their dues and/or with other life situations, the chapter would try to work with them prior to that. But if no solution can be reached through the appropriate means, terminated membership is the final result.)

BTW - its not a matter of simply going inactive (even just for a semester), because the chapter only has a limited number of spots per semester available for inactive members. If you don't apply and get approved for inactive status before the spots fill up for any given semester, there's nothing that can be done for you.

[besweetheart]

We actaully had a much older woman go through recruitment this fall. She was very nice, but really, how much does a 40 year old married woman with kids have in common with 60 single 20 year olds? She ended up dropping out, not b/c anyone was mean to her, but I think b/c she realized that her time to join a sorority had passed. She seemed to really just want to go alum, but of course she couldn't do that.

[TriDPrincess]

I can't speak for the rest of greek orgs but I'd to say that my experience has been positive. In the pledge class before mine there was a mother who got a bid however she never got initiated. Also, I just had my daughter two months ago and my sisters have been more than supportive. However, I was a sister before I had her so I don't know if that counts for the purpose of this thread.

[alphagamgirlie]

Wow, I thought it was very rare for this to happen when I heard about it, but from reading this thread, I guess it happens every now & then. If you go to school here, I'm pretty sure you know exactly who I'm talking about coz this happened fairly recent a yr ago I think. It probably depends on the person, so you would have to have had like a super good sense of time management to pull it off from the start at the beginning. There was a girl here who was the traditional college-aged student & her son was 3 yrs old when she became the chapter president, but she also had her fiance with her, so I think it might have been very different had she been a single mom on her own.

[ealymc]

There is a defected brother from my chapter, age 28ish, pledged and was initiated with a wife and two daughters under age 5. IMHO, it doesn't speak much to your manhood to have a family to care for yet to be out and about galavanting with a bunch of 21 year olds... but no one wanted to hear me then... he has since dropped letters and pledged an NPHC fraternity (previously alluded to), where he felt he fit in more... Priorities, priorities...