dropping membership

[MSKKG]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

Would you still wear the items if you deactivated?

If yes: Then WTH did you deactivate? If you still want to be a member (and it was your decision to deactivate), be a member or loose the privilidges. If you were forced to deactivate, then your National has expressed that they belive you are not worthy to wear the letters.

If no: Then WTH keep the stuff if you're not going to wear it? (And no, selling it on eBay is not a good answer either).

Sometimes the reasons behind resigning membership are not so cut and dried. A friend's daughter pledged a GLO as a soph. (she had rushed at another college and didn't pledge and then transferred to the 2nd college and pledged). She is a 5th-year senior and wanted to take alum status. They wouldn't let her because she hadn't been a member for 4 years and was still in school. She was basically forced into the resignation, not because she was "unworthy" but because of financial reasons. Her mom had bought her badge off eBay, so her mom said the badge belongs to her (the mom). She will probably resell it.

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by DGMarie

Do you sign something where it is explicity written and in terms upholdable to contract law, that you must return your pin? I have always wondered the actual legality of this. No Fraternity is going to send legal action against you in the real world. A lot of this is playing on fear and inexperience.

As for other personal items purchased by or for a member who has resigned, these are property of the owner, not the Fraternity. The excuse of "what does she need them for" does not hold any water. You cannot go around demanding things from people, regardless of your intentions. It is tantamount to harassment. And what if they don't comply? Do you continue to ask, demand, maybe escalate this? Give me back that pencil! Selling them or giving them away, no matter how much you don't like it, is up to the owner.

Some organizations document that formally disaffiliated members are to return all official items. When people initially "sign-up" for membership they are agreeing to various terms of membership, whether they choose to read and be informed of those terms or not.

Yes, the items that were purchased by the person are the person's property. But the symbols on those items are not, so different organizations have different policies on how to handle that.

[ISUKappa]

Originally Posted by KLPDaisy

A couple of years ago a girl in Kappa at my school was on financial aid. Her family had a lot of financial problems, I think one of her parents lost his/her job. The girl couldn't afford tuition and housing even with the financial aid, let alone dues. The Kappas got together and helped to pay her dues. In addition, through a fund with KKG HQ, the sorority was able to help pay some of her college costs for that semester. One of our alumnae told us this at an alumnae reunion. It happened when she was an active. I think that this is an awesome story and shows the meaning of sisterhood.

This is the Rose McGill Fund, founded by the Kappa Kappa Gamma Foundation, which helps any member (active or alumna) in times of financial need. I love reading the Rose Recipient letters in the Key or hearing them, they always make me tear up!!

Please for the love of all things holy, can we not get on the whole who owns the badge argument? kthx.

[DGMarie]

So you are free to ask. But they can say no way. I'm selling that leather jacket on Ebay. Sure, the pencil example is silly, but where do you draw the line? The keychain? The license tag frame? The hoodies? The tote bags?

They may not want something someone gave them, but if they spent money on it, they might not be so willing to hand it over just because you ask. Then what?

[33girl]

Originally Posted by DGMarie

So you are free to ask. But they can say no way. I'm selling that leather jacket on Ebay. Sure, the pencil example is silly, but where do you draw the line? The keychain? The license tag frame? The hoodies? The tote bags?

They may not want something someone gave them, but if they spent money on it, they might not be so willing to hand it over just because you ask. Then what?

Then I would rather buy it off them than have it be on ebay, or on their non-sister person. Although I really question how much a used keychain or license plate frame would bring on Ebay.

And like DSTChaos said...if it's in your agreement...you are SOL and possessing material that is no longer yours and have to hand it over. Period. It's like getting your car repossessed.

[UGAalum94]

If you had someone that you had forced out of your group because of something standards based, it would break your heart to see them around publicly wearing your letters. I don't know how you would get all the clothing back, but if you could, it would be worth it.

Most sane people wouldn't want to wear the letters of a group that kicked them out, but if they had good judgement, they wouldn't have gotten kicked out.

I think it is important to note yet again that some (many?) groups have hardship alum status.

[GDIfly]

Originally Posted by Alphagamuga

I think it is important to note yet again that some (many?) groups have hardship alum status.

How interesting! This is the first I've heard of hardship alum status.

If no: Then WTH keep the stuff if you're not going to wear it?

I would rather buy it off them than have it be on ebay, or on their non-sister person.

How would both of you feel about a former sister keeping a lettered shirt for personal memorabilia reasons? Not to wear, but to have as a keepsake of her time in the sorority. Even though for whatever reason she left or was forced to leave and even if her attitude has changed, at one time the sorority was probably very important and dear to her. Is there harm in allowing her to keep one shirt as a memento, a reminder of that time?

Originally Posted by GDIfly

How would both of you feel about a former sister keeping a lettered shirt for personal memorabilia reasons? Not to wear, but to have as a keepsake of her time in the sorority. Even though for whatever reason she left or was forced to leave and even if her attitude has changed, at one time the sorority was probably very important and dear to her. Is there harm in allowing her to keep one shirt as a memento, a reminder of that time?

That is precisely why I let my sister-daughter keep her stuff even after she de-pledged.

[FSUZeta]

i wouldn't mind if she kept a shirt, as long as she did not wear it while still in college.

[DSTCHAOS]

Keeping anything XZY-related is dumb if you are going to disaffiliate.

[Tom Earp]

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

Keeping anything XZY-related is dumb if you are going to disaffiliate.

Totaly agree!

What would it mean to them anyway other than to stir up drama?

[KSUViolet06]

I understand that not everyone terminates for a bad reason.

But the termination paperwork does not say "upon termination, member must surrender all lettered clothing/items UNLESS they only terminated for finances in which case they can keep the letters as a memento." The rules just DON'T say that. It clearly states in the paperwork that you have to give it back. Girls know from day one that if they depledge or terminate that they have to surrender everything.

For that reason, I don't agree with letting terminated members keep letters. If we let former members wear our letters, why don't we just hand them to random girls walking down the street?

My feeling is if you want to wear the letters so badly, stay in the sorority and try to work out whatever issue you're having or try to go alumna or inactive.

[Tom Earp]

I do not know how may GLOs do have Hardship status for going Alum.

I am sure it has to be reviewed by each GLO and it does happen.

But while some are not happy with this, remember, there may be a time when each of us can run into a situation like this.

If they are deemed to be under Alum status, then they can wear Letters, Badges and not be able to participate in any functions.

[Tom Earp]

Question?

If a member happens to get pregnant?

Is she forced to drop out of Active Chapter but continues in school and what is her status?

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by Tom Earp

Question?

If a member happens to get pregnant?

Is she forced to drop out of Active Chapter but continues in school and what is her status?

Why would she be forced to drop out of Active Chapter?