Is cheating at the bachelor party ok?

[ADqtPiMel]

Originally posted by Sistermadly
I'm going to go out on a limb and let people know my freaky, sex-positive side by saying this...

... but if my fiance told me ahead of time that there might be the possibility that he'd like to have sex with someone at the bachelor party, I'd be okay with it. It's not the sex that bothers me -- it's the lying.

Of course, he'd have to be okay with me getting my final freak on the night before as well. Can't have a double standard.

I could never deal with it, but I admire your viewpoint.

[GeekyPenguin]

Originally posted by Sistermadly
On the contrary. It means I don't have an idealized, romaticized view of weddings, marriage, and sex. Bachelor parties are supposed to be about the last hurrah -- bachelorette parties too. It's not my fault that most women have their panties in too tight of a knot to take advantage of that fact.

The thing I don't like about this is that if you and your spouse want to do that, it's fine with me - but why is it NOT fine with you that I don't want to and would find it disrespectful. I don't really care what you do, but I think that my relationship should be monogamous before and after marriage, and that has nothing to do with my panties.

[preciousjeni]

Originally posted by USCTKE
can I ask all of yall something...why do all (well most) females say that if they ever caught their boyfriend/husband cheating on them or something equally as bad that they would leave them, and then when it happens they always (or most of the time) find some reason to take them back...or at least that has been the case with most of the people I know.

Wishful thinking? If it were my boyfriend, I would drop him. If it were my husband, I would probably separate for a time but would not divorce because I don't believe in it. We'd need some MAJOR therapy but God forgives so I do too.

[preciousjeni]

Originally posted by Sistermadly
On the contrary. It means I don't have an idealized, romaticized view of weddings, marriage, and sex. Bachelor parties are supposed to be about the last hurrah -- bachelorette parties too. It's not my fault that most women have their panties in too tight of a knot to take advantage of that fact.

I'm wondering if you're serious (you would do this yourself) or if you're trying to make a point????

[copacabana]

Originally posted by Sistermadly
On the contrary. It means I don't have an idealized, romaticized view of weddings, marriage, and sex. Bachelor parties are supposed to be about the last hurrah -- bachelorette parties too. It's not my fault that most women have their panties in too tight of a knot to take advantage of that fact.

I'm going to have to agree with GeekyPenguin here. I could care less what you do in your relationships and your marriage (or anyone else's, for that matter) but I like my monogomous relationships just fine thank you and I think your last sentence was unnecessary.

[Lady Pi Phi]

Originally posted by Sistermadly
I'm going to go out on a limb and let people know my freaky, sex-positive side by saying this...

... but if my fiance told me ahead of time that there might be the possibility that he'd like to have sex with someone at the bachelor party, I'd be okay with it. It's not the sex that bothers me -- it's the lying.

Of course, he'd have to be okay with me getting my final freak on the night before as well. Can't have a double standard.

I respect how you feel. But would you be okay with your boyfriend doing it every night or other night? Would you be okay with your boyfriend saying to you "hey baby, we can't go out tonight. I'm going to go out with the boys to a club and I'm going to pick up some woman and bang her all night."?

I just don't know why it would be okay to do it one night but not many nights before you are married.

[kddani]

I'm feeling like we should be stocking up on Swingers' Club memberships for some GCers... because really, what is the difference?

[amycat412]

I am so sending BOTH of my brothers to my future husband bachelor party. With 6'4 and 6'5 brothers in residence, even if he was tempted there is NO WAY... ha ha ha ha ha

[Sistermadly]

Originally posted by Lady Pi Phi
I respect how you feel. But would you be okay with your boyfriend doing it every night or other night?

That depends. Is he sneaking behind my back, or is he being upfront about it? Is there a double-standard at play? Because if there is, then all bets are off.

Y'know, I just don't think sex is all that big a deal.

[Sistermadly]

Originally posted by preciousjeni
I'm wondering if you're serious (you would do this yourself) or if you're trying to make a point????

Well, I'm already married, but my husband and I talked about all of this stuff before we got married. We had ground rules about what was and what was not acceptable behavior. It turns out neither of us decided to walk that line, but to me, what's most important here is not that it was on the table, but that we had an open enough system of communication to talk about this issue instead of sneaking around it.

Oh, and for everyone getting all in a lather about my "panties in a knot" comment - it's called humor. Relax.

[Sistermadly]

Originally posted by preciousjeni
Wishful thinking? If it were my boyfriend, I would drop him. If it were my husband, I would probably separate for a time but would not divorce because I don't believe in it. We'd need some MAJOR therapy but God forgives so I do too.

I'm curious - why make the distinction between your boyfriend and your husband? Are there degrees of infidelity?

(I'm not attacking you, I'm just interested in hearing your POV.)

[Sistermadly]

Originally posted by kddani
I'm feeling like we should be stocking up on Swingers' Club memberships for some GCers... because really, what is the difference?

Swinging usually involves three or more people engaged in sex all at the same time, for starters. That's cool if that's what some people are into - who am I to judge - but it's really not my cuppa tea.

[copacabana]

Originally posted by Sistermadly
I'm curious - why make the distinction between your boyfriend and your husband? Are there degrees of infidelity?

(I'm not attacking you, I'm just interested in hearing your POV.)

On that note, what you said made me wonder: what if he wants a divorce? Would you not do it because you don't believe in it?
also not trying to attack you here, I was just curious.

[Lady Pi Phi]

Originally posted by Sistermadly
That depends. Is he sneaking behind my back, or is he being upfront about it? Is there a double-standard at play? Because if there is, then all bets are off.

Y'know, I just don't think sex is all that big a deal.

No, he's being upfront about it. I mean if you and your partner have the agreement that sex outside the relationship is okay, then by all means go nuts. But do you expect a monogomous relationship while you're dating, but one night is okay as long as you know?

[wrigley]

Sistermadly, it's great that you're openminded.

It's not a matter of being conservative in wanting to protect myself from the possible transmission of an STD or HIV as a result of this last hurrah by mr. soon to be hubby. I shouldn't have to get sick or die because he had sex of any kind with Diseased Desdemona.