Wedding etiquette

[starang21]

i think it's called a wishing well.

everyone can use money. particularly if you're starting a life together.

[starang21]

ok, well maybe in not in this instance, lol.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by honeychile

Ten will get you twenty that there's a cash bar, too!

If I absolutely "had to" attend this wedding, I think I'd ask how much the kiddie portions cost, or that we'll skip the meals.

There probably is a cash bar.

I actually don't know if the price listing meant that they have to pay for the meal, or if it was done in a "this is how much your meal costs, so this is how much our gift should be" kind of way.

Either is ubertacky.

[Gusteau]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

I actually don't know if the price listing meant that they have to pay for the meal, or if it was done in a "this is how much your meal costs, so this is how much our gift should be" kind of way.

When I read you first post I thought it was more of an "order the chicken, or else" tactic than a pay for your meal thing. If its the latter, my only response is .


When my cousin got married - it lasted for a hot minute - all of "the Aunts" boycotted the wedding, which was a pretty significant statement of their disapproval. The marriage's two month lifetime pretty much goes to show that the Aunts are always right.

For non-Italian-Americans (because I'm not sure if this happens in other backgrounds): The Aunts, being my great aunts, are the ultimate judges of family social etiquette. There are usually a large number of them (because your grandparents undoubtedly have 10+ siblings) who hold court at family gatherings and look out to judge and catalog missteps on the part of hosts and guests. If they boycott an event it kind of equates to Soviet countries boycotting US Olympic Games - the message is clear. At least one of the is probably named Chickie.

[honeychile]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

There probably is a cash bar.

I actually don't know if the price listing meant that they have to pay for the meal, or if it was done in a "this is how much your meal costs, so this is how much our gift should be" kind of way.

Either is ubertacky.

I'm sure it's basically a price tag for how much you "owe" the couple as a wedding gift - but if it's that tacky, I'd put it in a bond that they can't touch within 10 years. It'll give them something else to argue about during the divorce proceedings.

When I was a divorce counselor, I heard more people than I care to mention talk about "we spent $100 a head on this wedding and your family only gave us $50 each!" TACKY!!!!!

[sceniczip]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Speaking of poor etiquette, my mom's friend just received a wedding invitation in which the RSVP card lists the prices of the meals next next to the meal choices.

I feel like this goes beyond tacky and into some realm that I was unaware existed until right now.

[AZ-AlphaXi]

Originally Posted by ree-Xi

Thanks for letting me share this story! I really am aghast at the whole thing. If I didn't give something, I'd hear about it. It didn't cost me anything to regift. The whole thing was just madness. I'm glad that I'm not the only one who thinks so!!

I'm waiting to see if you get a thank you note for your gift

[honeychile]

^^I sent a VERY nice wedding gift to a couple three years ago (I know the groom via soccer). Never got a thank you note, had to ask if they received it (I used a registry), and they're now divorced due to the bride having several affairs. I think that's the Tacky Trifecta.

[Munchkin03]

Originally Posted by honeychile

^^I sent a VERY nice wedding gift to a couple three years ago (I know the groom via soccer). Never got a thank you note, had to ask if they received it (I used a registry), and they're now divorced due to the bride having several affairs. I think that's the Tacky Trifecta.

Sometimes I think there's a correlation between how tacky your wedding is and how doomed your actual marriage is. I know that's kind of mean and not at all true. But sometimes it IS true!

[DrPhil]

Is there already a thread about cash bars versus open bars?

I'm a huuuuuuuuuge fan of open bars (libations make the world go 'round), but have been hearing people talk about cash bars more and more since the recession.

[Munchkin03]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Is there already a thread about cash bars versus open bars?

I'm a huuuuuuuuuge fan of open bars (libations make the world go 'round), but have been hearing people talk about cash bars more and more since the recession.

I think that if I were to get married now and price were an issue, I still wouldn't have an open bar, but maybe a white bar, where beer, white wine, and champagne were included. Or maybe even a limited open bar where we'd pick about 5-6 different kinds of liquor and mixers. Munchkin hates cash bars.

There's gotta be a way to be a good host and be budget conscious, too.

[RaggedyAnn]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Is there already a thread about cash bars versus open bars?

We have discussed it. I think it was in the Random Wedding thread.

[KSUViolet06]

I've seen plenty of couples do what Munchkin described and have a white bar.

I've also seen couples have an open bar with the couples' signature cocktail and like 3 other drinks.

There's nothing worse than going to a wedding, ordering a drink, handing the bartender a tip and having him say "that'll be $7.00" because the bar is cash and you had no idea (because invites don't indicate that there's a cash bar and you always assume that it's open). Ewww.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

I think that if I were to get married now and price were an issue, I still wouldn't have an open bar, but maybe a white bar, where beer, white wine, and champagne were included. Or maybe even a limited open bar where we'd pick about 5-6 different kinds of liquor and mixers. Munchkin hates cash bars.

There's gotta be a way to be a good host and be budget conscious, too.

I agree 100%. Hmmm....

Originally Posted by RaggedyAnn

We have discussed it. I think it was in the Random Wedding thread.

Oh noooooo, I must scour that thread. Thanks...I guess I'll find it.

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

I've seen plenty of couples do what Munchkin described and have a white bar.

I've also seen couples have an open bar with the couples' signature cocktail and like 3 other drinks.

There's nothing worse than going to a wedding, ordering a drink, handing the bartender a tip and having him say "that'll be $7.00" because the bar is cash and you had no idea. Ewww.

That does suck to think it's an open bar (you leave a tip) but find out it's a cash bar.

I went to a gala years ago where it was a limited cash bar like you mentioned. It was great because it isn't hard to know what drinks are most popular for an age group. If people want their fancy and rare drinks then they can get it on their own time.

[LatinaAlumna]

I just can't believe that ree-Xi's cousin was able to find 8 women who were willing to pay for bridesmaid dresses, shoes, hair, and make-up for a "faux" wedding! Somehow I don't think the couple footed the bill for these expenses.

Did she have a shower, too?